Shoplifting

Have you ever been busted for shoplifting?

Never!

 

 11

Just once. I learned my lesson.

 

 4

A few times. I'm a risk taker.

 

 0

Girl, if I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya!

 

 2

I went out to lunch today with my friends/co-workers & it's always eventful.  Somehow we got on the subject of shoplifting & of course the stories started to flow.

Allow me to share a few of mine.

First, I'll admit to being a lip-gloss klepto in my pre-teen years.  My mama & granny refused to buy it for me, so I decided to cuff it.  I never pocketed more than lip-gloss and/or crazy color nail polish.  Luckily, I never got caught. 

My mother was one of those mothers who "hated nothing more than liars & thieves".  

One day my mother caught me with lip-gloss on.  My nickel-slick ass forgot to wash it off before I left school.  She asked where I got it from & of course all I could do was stand there and look stupid.  Her reply to my silence was, "I oughta march your lil thieving ass back downtown & make you tell them what you did!"  That scared me so bad, that was my last day as lip-gloss booster.   Of course, she had to tell er'body & their mama what I had done.  I was 1/2 past embarrassed for damn near a month.

On to my sister, who is 2 years my junior & a true klepto.  She would steal shit just to be stealing.  Dumb shit like cough syrup, nail clippers, character toothbrushes, etc.

She went to the store with her buddies & apparently they are racking up & get caught.  My sister who was about 12/13 had a bottle of Flintstone Vitamins!  Yep, you heard me right. 

At that age she didn't have any ID & the security would only release her to an adult. This is where coming from a small family isn't so great.  She had no choice but to call home.

My mother answers the phone & all I hear is "Who?! What?! When?! I'll be there!"  She was pissed. Not only did her child get caught stealing, she lied about her name.  Told security her name was Ashley something or the other, which is no where near her given name.

I head to the store with my mama so I could have front row center to Flintstone Vitamin Beatdown!  We walk in the security office & my sister gets nervous & starts to tear up.  My mother scowled at her and said, "Give yo' heart to Jesus, 'cause yo' ass is mine!"  I bout died!!! LMAO

My mother had to sign some papers & was told my sister would not be allowed in the store again unless my mother with her.  My sister slipped out of the door when my mother's back was turned & disappeared.  We went to the exit to see if we saw her & she was 1/2 way across the lot.  My mother, who could & did get ghetto at times, yelled, "Yo lil thieving ass can run all night, but I'm STILL gonna beat dogsled shit outta you!"  At that point I had to move away.  She hurt my feelings & she wasn't even talking to me.

Ahhhh...the memories.

Let's Have a Lil Friday Fun

 

This is a "highly scientific" (yeah, right) test that'll tell you all about your personality.

 

1. Reply to this blog by numbering your reply #1 thru #9.

 

2. In slots #1 & #5 list the names of two (2) people you are attracted to (must be "real" people - no celebs).  Last names not necessary.

 

3. In slots #2, #3 & #4 list the names of any three (3) friends or family members.  

4. In slots #6, #7, #8 & #9 list the titles of four (4) songs you like.

 

I'll be back later to let you know what your answers mean.

 

Here's what the list represents:

 

1. The person in slot #1 is the one you love.   The song in slot #6 matches this person.

 

2.  The person in slot #5 is someone you're really interested in but it just can't work out.   The song in slot #7 represents this person.

 

3.  The person in slot #2 is the one you care the most about.

 

4.  The person in slot #3 knows you really well.

 

5.  The person in slot #4 is your lucky star (whatever you want that to mean).

 

6.  The song in slot #8 tells you about your state of mind.

 

7.  The song in slot #9 represents how you feel about sex.

Caption This

  The Old Rappers Rest Home         Too Short asks, "Where my damn jello at?!"

Peanuts & Jelly Beans

Part I

I had a craving, but I couldn't identify it.  I made a stop in the candy aisle {I'm a fat girl, what did you expect? } and saw some Starburst jelly beans & then it hit me....peanuts & jelly beans!  That's what I wanted!  I just hate there are no white jelly beans {my fav} in the bag.

Part II

When we last talked it seemed only us native St. Louisans were familiar with this snack.  This was a staple for us who grew up in STL.  The best ones could be found at the Famous-Barr (now Macy's) candy counter.  If you ever crave a sweet & salty mixture, this will hook you up!

As you can tell, the bowl was close to being empty before I remembered to get a snapshot.

The next time anyone comes thru The Lou, Peanuts & Jelly Beans on me!

You Are a Margarita Jelly Bean

Wildly optimistic and jovial, you know how to get through anything with flair. You have a certain "je ne sais quoi" that makes you an alluring companion.

My Boo Idris Elba aka Big Driis

Ain't he fione?!

Yo Diggs....keep dreaming honey!

 

 

Lil Mo'

Say hello to the Original Lil Mo'!

My Personality Defined

 

I took The Five Factor personality quiz and these are the results. Quite interesting indeed.

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Just ask my family & friends!

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. I keep my Multiply open at work. Need I say more?

Agreeableness:

You have low agreeableness.
Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.
In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.
And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. After what I have lived thru, I doubt anyone would blame me.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Can I get an Amen?!

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue. Thought you knew!