16 & Pregnant - Part II

Sunday, August 28, with my mama by my side, I gave birth to an 8lbs, 6oz. baby boy, without the aid of drugs!  I don't think you heard me!  I delivered that lil boy without drugs!  It was certainly an experience I will never forget, but one I vowed to never repeat.  I was way too young & the whole experience - pregnancy, labor, episiotimy & natural delivery, left me a tad bit jaded. 

After all was said & done, my mother was on the phone passing along the word that we were OK.  However, when she called my grandparents, I got sick to the stomach.  I was not ready to face them.  It's not like me & baby could just disappear but I sure did wish we could.

My mama & the donor stayed at the hospital until they kicked them out.  Before she left she told me the grands would be stopping by tomorrow.  As much as I loved those old folks, they were the last people in the world I wanted to see.

The next afternoon, I heard my grandmother's voice in the hall asking, "Where is she?"  The disappointment was still in her voice.  They walked in & she had a look in her eyes that I will never forget.  I swear I wanted to vomit, but I held it together.  She just stared at me for a moment, and when she did speak, all she said was, "So, how many more are you going to have?"  Even tho I was choked up, I managed to tell her that she would never have to worry about visiting me in the maternity ward....ever again.  She was still stoic.  Her expression didn't change.

Papa walked in & interjected with, "Where's John Henry?" {That is not my son's name, but that's the nic Papa gave him.}  I pointed to my baby & Papa picked him up & started talking to him.  I don't even recall what he was saying I was just glad my grandma wasn't talking.  Papa looked at me and said, "I'll help you with this one, but you better make damn sure you have a good husband before you bring me another one."   I smiled at Papa and said, "I promise."

The next day, I named my baby & was asked about circumcision.  I had to call my mama & grandparents because I didn't know what to do.  All parties said, "snip him".  So it was ordered.  I didn't bother to ask his father because he was a lil ticked that I didn't name my baby after him.  Whatever,dude.  He already knew that wasn't happening, but I guess he thought I'd have a change of heart.

5 nights in the hospital and fast forward to our 1st night at home.  Up until about a month before I delivered, I shared a bedroom with my sister, but she went to live with our grandparents.  That 1st 2:00 am feeding had him crying & me too!   Back then, the babies didn't spend 24/7 in the room with mom.  They spent the nights in the nursery.  That was such a rude awakening for me.  Welcome to post-partum depression.

To be continued....