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Y'all already know how I make my living & he makes his the exact opposite - union physical/manual labor.
It was almost midnight when he came to my house & I had been working on a report that gave me the damn blues. When I finally got it done, I was tired - mentally exhausted. When I was giving him one-word answers to his idle chatter, he asked what was wrong. Ninja, I'm tired! His reply was, "You sit at a desk and boss other people around all day, how can you be so tired?" I told him to shut the hell up & leave me alone. He misread my exhaustion for having an attitude.
Why is it so hard for those who have physically demanding jobs to understand that those of us who have mentally demanding jobs can be tired too?!
I wish I could say it was just his misguided thinking, but I have several friends and family who feel the same way. Damn....just because my joints and muscles aren't aching at the end of my workday doesn't mean I'm not tired too dammit!
Until they walk a mile in your shoes... **HUG**
ReplyDeleteI feel you sista girl..... sometimes just having to deal with the PEOPLE on your job can be just as EXHAUSTING as picking up a brick and laying it!
ReplyDeletePlease dont take me there. Me and mista have the same discussion all the time. He can't seem to understand that sitting at desk and using my brain requires a lot. No...i am NOT in the field fighting or trekking through woods or whatever the heck he does in the Military....
ReplyDeleteHowever, meetings, budgets, traveling and dealing with clients all damn day is NO picnic!
I couldn't agree with you more. I'm pretty sure if they had to switch places with their counterparts (physical to mental) they would understand. Depending on the "desk job" it can be very mentally draining to where you can't even focus your own thoughts to even think and rest is very much needed. I had taken many people to my job just so they can see what i did and they all stated "I don't know how you can do this all day". Exactly!
ReplyDeleteI've been in both types of positions. You won't like my answer, but the truth is, physical labor is more demanding and wears you out more. At least in my case.
ReplyDeleteMy father, blue collar, has said I've never had to do a day of "real work" in my life. LOL!!! I get where people are coming from when they say that, and I understand more than fully that management is draining work (I drink more now...) It's all I can do to remain diplomatic and tactful with some of the crap that comes my way by virtue of the nature of my job.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I'd rather do this than be on my feet working retail all day, or doing manual labor.
I'm inclined to agree, but give us office dwellers some credit. This ain't the cakewalk it appears to be.
ReplyDeletePS Sometimes I really hate the "human" part of Human Resources.
*Clicking a glass with you!*
ReplyDeleteI agree with u all the way. My ex use to do the same thing. He was a mover and I at the time worked in finance at a major hospital. So when I would say Im tired he would say the same thing...u sit at a desk all day. Hello...I have to make sure everday that I bring in this money or my ass is out of a job. My boss use to say...if we dont bring in the money..the hospital will close..PRESSURE!! Of couse I was the fool with the most accounts, right. Hell, when I got home..I would throw dinner together and be in the bed by 9. I dont know Y people think that but I use to tell him to bring his happy ass to my job and do it then tell me how tired he really is.
ReplyDeleteI think her quesstion is, and forgive me if I'm putting words in Mo's mouth, is why can't her male friend relate to her.
ReplyDeleteAm I right here. It's not about comparing whose job is more demanding (well maybe mister is making that comparison), but Mo's concern goes to why he doesn't understand and empathize with her job being just as demanding.
Some people can understand and empathize. Maybe it has as much to do with being equally yoked as does anything else.
*Passing through*
here.....here!!!!
ReplyDeleteExactly!!!
ReplyDeleteI think it's the people you have to deal with that makes it so exhausting. I have a stupid for no f-in reason, person in my office and she can walk in the room and stand and it starts to wear me down. Hell, tired is tired. No one can tell another person they are or aren't tired. Sounds like my ex. He gets one star.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm not taking anything away from desk jockeys. I'm one now. I was just pointing out the difference. I prefer the headaches of dealing with idiots to the backaches I used to have.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I'm the EEO Director, and every day it's some fresh new drama with folks thinking they are being discriminated against. Try coming to work on time and see if that improves the relationship with your supervisor. Apparently, demanding people be punctual is the new hidden racism. *eye roll*
ReplyDeleteAnd the ones who have REAL problems won't report them, so I spend my days trying to deflect the frivolous and instilling courage in the ones who SHOULD stand up for themselves.
It's the mind that drives the body. If the mind is tired then so is the body and vice versa. It's just pure frustration. It probably would have been a better idea not to have seen each other in state of mind that you were in. Sure, in your mind you want to see each other, but being in the state that you were in a little thing such as flicking the remote would have sent you into oblivion.
ReplyDeleteWoman... if brother-in-law wants to chitter chat then dammit chitter chat with him... Pop a couple of No-doze and a sprite and get to it..
ReplyDeleteOver and out...
And im purposely avoiding the question.. because office/desk life has been giving me the whoa's lately...
ReplyDeleteover and out.... again
Forgot my star...
ReplyDeletejust out this time...
Hah! I can so relate! I work for Community (Human) Relations and we file complaints on behalf of some of the idiots of which you speak!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree and it pisses me off too. Paperwork often involves problem solving and repetitiveness, and at the end of the day, you can be worn out.
ReplyDeleteI have a devil's advocate question for those who have only had desk jobs. If you've never carried a sofa up 3 flights of stairs, what do you have to compare the level of tiredness to?
ReplyDeleteSee when I got my 1st job (personnel clerk for the USDA) my senior of high school and I would complain about being tired after morning classes & afternoon working, my gramps would say the same thing. Went more like, "Gal, you wouldn't know hard work if it bit you in the ass." LOL I miss that old dude.
ReplyDeleteAmen & pass the biscuits!
ReplyDeletewhat happens when you're mind is over loaded.. it affects the rest of your body... you carry that sofa up 3 flights of stairs and chill for the rest of the evening to get your body back in shape... But you fuck up your brain and mental and everything is all outta whack...
ReplyDeleteYou have a point, but the bottom line is that no one has the right to tell another what they are or aren't. You're not even dealing with the same kind of tired.
ReplyDeleteHow about I just toss him my phone & tell him to call you? Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
ReplyDeleteThat's it!
ReplyDeleteAnd she oughta know!
ReplyDelete*hopping the EL*
AMEN. There have been many a days that i've been so mentally drained that i didn't want to move more less breathe!
ReplyDeleteAnd days when my body hurt so bad from doing whatever...that if you asked me my name...I'd probably say Toby!
It annoys me that folks just can't accept that what you do is different from what they do yet equally as demanding in its own respects and call it a damn day. I don't diminish what others do....and would appreciate it if they afforded me with the same respect!
We can swap bbq'ing secrets all night... lol
ReplyDeleteBut then again.. you might need to be in on that conversation... you need to learn how Sis..
Man.. you lucky I like you.. lol
ReplyDeleteWell...I've carried a couch up three flights of stairs...and when that task is done...its done.
ReplyDeleteSitting in a 3 hour meeting listening to folks talk about stuff that you have no interest in then having to replay most of what was said, is in my opinion, just as tiring, if not more so than the trek up the stairs with that damn couch.
At 4ft 11.75in TALL, I've moved furniture by myself (when I really shouldn't have) so I know the pain of physical labor.
ReplyDeleteMy first job was a HydroCeramic Engineer at a Thermal Outdoor Nature Preserve (dishwasher at a summer camp) and I helped the kitchen staff hauling boxes of food and dishes, and whatnot, and could throw pots/pans into those large automatic washers with the best of them.
I've done hard work, and am not afraid of it. I respect it. That's why I know that level of "tired" is probably connatatively MORE "tired" than the mental "tired" you get with desk jobs.
I've done both and I prefer "desk job tired."
This is so true. I know I have come away from my previous place of employment literally beat and body just aching. I mean if you work in a particular dept. and you have to go to other dept.'s it can be both physically and mentally draining especially if you do a 10-12 hr day.
ReplyDeleteI ain't moving no damn sofa! LOL
ReplyDeleteSeriously, my ex was a mover so I know what that kind of exhaustion does to the body. I didn't bother him with my idle chatter when I know all he wanted was a hot shower & cold beer.
I'm not trying to be evil here, but 8 hours of that can leave a bro too tired for sex. This crap I do now, is a relief. I worked my ass off to get to this desk. Maybe that's what's needed for manual laborers. I used to say what her man said all the time. Until he gets the chance to experience her kind of work, his answer won't change.
ReplyDelete*big ass hug*
ReplyDeleteEspecially when said folks start to sound like Charlie Brown's mama & teacher!
ReplyDeleteThis convo has come up a time or two in my home, usually it occurs when that man of mine desires a foot rub after walking miles on pebble & rock on the rails. I am empathetic that his feet hurt, but dammit my feet hurt too. And until we can find a way to rub each other's feet at the same time, someone's feet gone STAY TIRED. Now dont get me wrong, he'll get his feet rubbed, but it's not gonna happen every single day.
ReplyDeleteI've been with my job 11 yrs this past August.. and I believe it was about 7 years ago when i really starting excelling here and taking on more responsibility.. And in doing so I ended up having too much on my plate and trying to juggle this and juggle that. Working in the office and doing part time sales out in the field... I was determined to prove that I could do it.. Mind you.. this is all before my monkeying around on the internet days..and actually doing work... But I had become so overwhelmed to the point of having anxiety attacks and hyperventilating all the time and developed some other issues from that.. But it took me a minute to get my mind right in order to get my body back on track... So to say one man's job is more stressful than another is without merit unless you've actually walked in those shoes..
ReplyDeleteNow I will say... I think I work much harder than the dude in the parking lot pay booth, cuz his ass is always asleep when I ride by... but everyone else is open market...lol
That's why I keep my meetings to no more than 45 mins..an hour tops.
ReplyDeleteThat's another thing...when his ass clocks out & 2nd shift arrives, he doesn't have to think about his job until he clocks in. I'm thinking "did I enroll this one, reinstate that one, cancel the other one, process this, handle that, etc.?"
ReplyDeleteI can do this job right here with no complaints *giggles*
ReplyDeleteGirl preach! I was there on Friday! Had a meeting at Equifax and it was waaaa waaa waaaa waaaa waaaa
ReplyDeleteThe thing with that is after most desk jobs though even though your day is over your work is almost never finished. I have found myself often times staying a couple of hours later to finish up a call or the paper work for a patients insurance making sure they get billed correctly or not billed incorrectly. And if someone comes in after you who might take over for you or do the same job you have to lead them into where you left off. Heck, I use to get calls at home right after my day had ended asking me about paper work and other stuff.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had that option. Man it gets so painful that i start pinching myself under the table to stay awake!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, where have I heard this before?
ReplyDeleteI think you said it this morning.
ReplyDeleteLOL, look at the first post down there.
ReplyDeleteHere Here! But I think I've pretty much gotten my inner circle trained to understand how that whole "mentally tired" thing works, especially if they happen to call me at work. They are GUARANTEED to hear just how my day goes w/my name being called at least 5-7 times while they are talking to me...with no less than 3 visitors that need assistance during my conversation with them...with being put on hold at least once so that I can answer another call...and ending it with "Hey, let me call you back, I need to meet with this agent right quick." *sigh* Needless to say, they usually wait until I'm off work to communicate with me and my mother has just given up. She'll shoot me an email and just wait until the end of the week to actually hear my voice and see me.
ReplyDeleteAs for the new folks coming into my life...only the strongest survive!! I pass my time out as best I can ...well...that's a lie...as TOLERANT as I can...LOL I only get one whole day off a week so you can best believe I'm going to spend it doing what I want with WHO I want. A special acquaintance taught me to say "no" and cater to ME more than others, so that's what I've been doing for quite some time now...and THAT is why I'm able to keep my sanity and stay positive!
In closing....."He'll be aight!!" LOL
We are alike in that manner...the bf drives trucks and don't have to communicate with too many folks. I take 60-70 calls a day and speak to idiots ....it's mentally wringing. They say I bring it home...well ok....how bout you back it up 10 feet for a minute and let me regroup. But Question did you really say "shut the hell up and leave me alone"? I would have taken offense to that part too
ReplyDeleteWell I dont know about all that. At my job. I play on Ply, I go uspstairs and play ping pong or shoot pool. I take naps in the clinic after lunch. (The Itis be setting in) Lets see what else do I do. Oh I go in the fitness room and lift weights. Occasiaonally I have a meeting or two to attend and some emails to return and some perfermance evaluations to do. But other than that. its LG baby
ReplyDeleteWell, I carried a HEAVY ASS TREADMILL up SIX flights of stairs in HEELS (three OUTSIDE, three INSIDE) ALL BY MYSELF I MIGHT ADD, so I DO have something to compare it to. Now although I was TIRED, SWEATY, and IRRITATED by the time I got IN my apartment, I can HONESTLY say that I've had days on my "desk job" where I've felt JUST as EXHAUSTED as I did that day because PEOPLE can PULL you, TRYyou and WORK you JUST AS HARD as those people who put the desk IN the office (in my opinion).
ReplyDeleteCase and point: just because YOUR tiredness is more physical than mine on a daily doesn't degrade mine. *smile*
Booo got all yall beat. I carried a ful lleangth 8 foot pool table up a flight. Yall ait lifted shit until yall lift a pool table that slate aint no damn joke. It took 4 of us and that Pool table still won
ReplyDelete**hug**
ReplyDeleteYeah sounds like you got me beat, but I don't know WHAT the hell "I" was thinking with that treadmill!!! I got some damn EXERCISE alright..... it took me damn near TWO HOURS from the time I got it OUT of my car to the time I got it to my FRONT DOOR to get that sucka in my apartment.
Where's it at now.... sitting in my room with MESS on it mad because I barely use it!!!!
Not trying to belittle your effort, cuz I know that mug was heavy, but you weren't doing that 40 hours a week.
ReplyDeletelady....allow me to interject....i don't know what the hell you were thinking with the heels! LOL...you were just begging for punishment!
ReplyDeleteYour example came across SINGULAR to me (and I've only carried a treadmill up some steps ONCE *LOL*) so it's all good Brotha Rob.... *smile*
ReplyDeleteYou're right, but at the time I wasn't thinking about it- I was just wanting to get that damn thing up the stairs!!!! I had gone to pick it up STRAIGHT from work (in BUSINESS ATTIRE and HEELS) and didn't realize that it looked simple enough at the store because two MEN put it IN the car!!!! Not until "I" was at my apartment fending for MYSELF just TRYING TO GET IT OUT did I realize how HEAVY it was!!! I didn't want to leave it out while I went and CHANGED CLOTHES, etc. so my NON THINKING behind played SHE-RA and wnet on about getting it up the stairs. *LOL*
ReplyDeleteTo all of you sit/ non-manual folx I say to be mindful of what you get when innocently ask your stand/ manual S.O. to pick up, carry, lift, walk, climb, reach, or move something and they snap off.
ReplyDeleteWork is just so leave that shit AT WORK! Why sit at home thinking about work for free? Think about this, if you are at work thinking about life you are not working, right? If you are home thinking about work you are not what?...living!
For those that date/d a truckdriver you may recognize this, when I get home I driving JACK!, and I am not riding no where! I just want to (picture this) sit on the couch in peace. Let go of 11 - 14 hrs a day, 7 days a wk, however many weeks till I get back home road rage.
***look around hoping nobody saw me, drop the mic, and walk off stage with hands in pockets whistling***
G, you know me.... that's exactly what I said.
ReplyDelete*giggling* by the power of the universe...wait that's he-man. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteDamn J! What's up with that?? Crackheads on the corner wouldn't allow you to let it sit until you changed shoes? LOL
ReplyDeleteCRACKIN' UP!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAt the time I lived DOWNTOWN (hence the HOMELESS and other CHANCE GRABBERS) and I wasn't really thinking once I STARTED getting it out (it was so damn heavy, that I wasn't putting it BACK in the car, and I wasn't LEAVING it OUT for someone (or a COUPLE of someones) to SNATCH it up with EASE)!!! *LOL*
ReplyDeleteI comepletely know how you feel... Mental exhaustion is just as bad as physical. It takes a toll on you just the same.... People need to realize that.........
ReplyDeleteI KNOW HOW YOU FEEL THATS THE FIRST THING MY MAN SAY TO ME I GOT A ATTITUDE.
ReplyDeleteBeing that I have worked a high demanding desk job and currently have a physically demanding labor job in which I have to deal with 100-200 different customers a day, I would have to say, I too would rather be desk tired. I have a friend who swears she is "exhausted" every day and can't do anything besides go home and vegetate in front of the TV EVERYDAY after work and I am like, good grief chile, you don't know what tired is. So yeah, I get annoyed with folks with desk jobs or non-physical labor jobs who can't do anything any day that they have to work cuz they too tired. Pleeze.
ReplyDeleteI am mentally exhausted every day.
ReplyDeletePeople can drain you... all the dumb questions they can ask really do wear on you, mind, body and soul!
ReplyDeletebut I dont have this problem with Mr... he works in the IT field... so he knows how mentally exhausting all this non-physical labor can be.
Tired is Tired. no matter how you got there. Mental exhaustion and physical exhaustion can both get you. Next time he doesn't understand that you are tired, give him a report to read and explain. Or even a part of the compliance manual. Ask him innocently to explain about something you do and see how fast her tires of it. Then let him know you do it all day. Or ask him how he would solve a problem between two people and not fire either one.
ReplyDelete