Big & Beautiful Woman (BBW) Defined

I’d never even heard the term BBW until I started using Yahoo! back in 2001.  I saw several chat rooms that catered to these BBW and it wasn’t until I sent an IM to a young lady who had BBW as part of screen name, that I learned what it meant.  I started looking around Yahoo! and found many groups that catered to the BBW.  Wow!  I had finally found a place where my 200+ lbs ass would fit in & not be judged according to my dress size.   It was also a place to meet & mingle with the fellas (dubbed BBW Lovers/Admirers) who were attracted to a woman with a lil more than average weight on her.  I also encountered a few who I’d classify as BBW Predators, but that’s another story for another day. 

 

I'm not one to sugarcoat anything, including my weight.  I'm fat.  I've been called everything you can think of – overweight, thick, plump, fluffy, yadda, yadda - bottom line is - I'm fat.

 

There are days when I look in the mirror & feel like Miss Universe.  On these particular days you can’t tell me nothing!  Then there are days when I sigh & wonder.   Most people don’t realize it when looking at me because of the way I carry the weight, but according to the AMA, I am clinically, morbidly obese (BMI is 40+/100+ lbs overweight). 

 

Many moons ago, at 5 foot 8, I was a svelte 135 lbs, not more than 140 lbs…definitely not skinny, but not really thick (by street definition).  Perfect size 10 {or 12 if Muda was buying the clothes}.

 

I was always the biggest & tallest chic in my clique and sometimes felt out of place, but hey, that's what teenagers do.  Once a month water-weight gain would bring tears to my eyes. 

 

I didn’t start to gain weight until my senior year in high school, right after giving birth to my one & only.

 

Now, I’ve seen several people speak on the subject of being/not being a Big & Beautiful Woman/Big Handsome Man (BBW/BHM).  Some of these topics are driven by desires of us who fit into the overweight, obese & even morbidly obese category and the desire to lose weight & become fit.  Some are driven by the way other people look at us simply because we’re fat.  Some people are honest to a fault & some are simply delusional. 

 

Some jackasses are just outright fucking rude.  We need neither judge nor jury telling us that we are fat, need to lose weight, our bodies are a temple, etc. etc.  Hello, Einstein!! Now tell us something we don’t know.   Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, we're supposed to be fat? *lol*

 

I will be the 1^st to admit, unlike a lot of my sisters, I do know the difference between thick (which happens one of the most misused terms I’ve ever heard/seen in my life) & fat.  Contrary to popular belief, they are not one in the same.  For those who maybe unsure, here’s my take on it:

 

You are fat if:

• your waistline is the same or larger than your 40+ inch bust line
• your inner thighs applaud when you run down stairs (me!)
• you could start a fire with the friction between said thighs (me!)
• you have trouble bending over (due to belly fat) to tie/buckle your shoes (me!)
• you have no neck
• you cannot feel your collarbone  (heard that from a friend)
• you have a top & bottom stomach (heard that from a different friend & I still bugg up everytime she says it)
• you cannot climb a flight of stairs without gasping for dear life & you aren’t asthmatic
• you need a seat-belt extender on a commercial flight
• you stand in the mirror & must lift your stomach just to see your vagina/penis
• your back fat could pass for a 2^nd set of breasts
• you have man breasts
• you wear low-rise jeans (which yo ass really shouldn’t) and you have that whole muffin top look happening
• you suffer from Dunlap Syndrome (your belly done lapped over your waistband)
• your upper arm fat overlaps your elbows
• your feet look like ham hocks in your shoes
• you cannot comfortably fit in the bathtub (unless you are Shaq)
• you have cracked/broken a toilet bowl
• you cannot use an average store bought scale, considering the good ones don’t max until 310 lbs.)
• you have a handicapped parking placard or plates because you would damn near die and/or your lower extremities couldn’t take it (due to weight) if you had to walk from the far end of the parking lot
• you don't see a doctor regularly because you don't want to know your true weight & you don't want to hear the sermon about how you need to lose it

{Fellas, even tho this is geared towards the sisters, I threw a few bullets in for you as well.}

 

If you fall into even a few of the bullet points above & you still need to/tend to refer to yourself as thick to make you feel better, God bless you.

 

I even knew a chic who was about was 350 lbs. easily and a tad bit shorter than I am, but considers herself “fit” because she had no other health issues.  Ummm ok.  Neither do I, but fit doesn’t describe me or those like me.  I could definitely go on, but I think you get the general idea.

 

Granted, there are some fat folks who really need a reality check, but on the other hand, they are so far gone, there’s nothing you could say to convince them otherwise.

 

Beautiful comes in all shapes, sizes and colors.  You do not have to be a size 0- 12 to be beautiful.  For the record, zero is not a size for a grown woman. It's a cry for help.  (Nah, I'm just kidding as I know a few size zero sisters.)

 

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. (My t-shirt in the pic reads "I may be big, but you're ugly and I can lose weight!)

 

I just had to get this off my chest & I thank you for listening.

Why'd He Make Me Big?

"Dear God" I began, with my face hung down
He answered back "Why the frown?"

"Why, may I ask did you make me this way?"
"What way is that? What are you trying to say?"

My body, Dear Lord, My face, it's too square
They are the wrong color, My eyes and my hair.

My hips are too wide, My belly too round.
When I look at my feet, I can't see the ground.

My thighs are so thick, My feet, they stick out.
My fingers, my toes, they are as big as a trout.

My eyes are too close, they're in the wrong place.

I'm loud sometimes, and bossy to boot,
Sometimes I wish I was just born a mute.

The Lord, he just chuckled, as if it was funny,
"Dear Child, you will learn, that's more than plenty."

Your hair and your eyes, those things don't matter.
It's the size of your heart, and not if you get fatter.

You have the gifts that I've given to you.
To cheer up your friends when they're feeling blue.

You make people laugh and forget all their sorrows.
Those are the things that make more tomorrows.

Your children and family, I put in your care.
Those are the reasons I put you there.

You're smart and you're witty, people love you.
Why can't you seem to love yourself too?

I thought a minute not sure what to say,
Then into my mind popped events of the day.

"They laugh at me, you know, people who see me
they think it's funny, but it hurts, cant they see?"

I've tried everything, to be as they say
small and thin, in a petite way.

The Lord looked at me, with a curious grin.
He said with a smirk "Who said thin was in?"

I made you perfect the way that you are.
Those magazines and models, they take it too far.

I made you bigger, because that's who you are.
There's nothing small about you my child.

You are too grande to fit those things they call "in".
To say you are grande is still putting it mild.

You have a big heart, so full of love.
You have deep emotions, no one can deny.

You do things largely, everything with pride,
your thoughts, your ideas, even the tears you cry.

I made you big.
That is a fact.
I made you like me.
Don't forget that.

You are too special to define
and even harder to confine.

~ Author Unknown ~

Since When Did Fat = Desperate??

Can someone tell me when being a BBW - Big & Beautiful Woman {aka fat, overweight, big, plus and/or queen-sized chic} started meaning the same thing as BDW {Big, Desperate Woman}? My mailman be tripping sometimes, so maybe I didn't get the memo.

While I'm sure there are plenty of guys who have a genuine attraction & admiration for us plus-sized sistas, I've noticed that some of these clowns are just plain predators.

Sisters beware! Some of these guys will do whatever it takes to get you. They will tell you exactly what they think you want to hear & charm the pants right off of you, if you allow them. They are good at seeking out those who may have esteem issues or those who simply haven't been told they were beautiful enough in their lives. They see you as an untapped market & they're cashing in, big time!

Ladies keep your senses & try not to fall into the "baby you're so fine, baby I've never met anyone like you, baby I wanna be your man, baby I love you" trap.

I've seen too many of my friends fall prey to these wanna-be gigolos. Always follow your 1st mind & never, ever 2nd guess yourself. If he sounds & acts too good to be true, he probably is!

In the meantime, I'm gonna keep being a hard-ass & keep these fools at a distance.

Y'all know Mo don't take no mess!