Handbook for Life - 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner Most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Other People’s Kids – Part I

Last July, I became guardian to 4/5 of my sister’s kids.  I love these children, but keep in mind, I don’t like kids (and I don’t feel guilty about it)….love them to death, preferably from a distance.  You can keep all of these lil crumb snatchers outta my personal space.  My son is an only child for a reason.

 

 

Let me tell y’all about Showtime aka Pretty Ricky.  He’s 13, smart & all his life folks have thought he was my son, not my nephew.  I call him Showtime because he’s very animated.  I also call him Pretty Ricky at times because he has this Bone Thugs thing going on with all this hair on his head & he thinks he’s fine.  He’s also quite fashion conscious.  At least as conscious as a 13 year old can get.  He’s pretty independent & of his 4 other siblings, he’s my favorite….just don’t tell him.  He’ll attempt to use it to his advantage.  He’s also a Gemini & works my nerves & the Rockwood School District’s with his moods.  This boy was moody from the day he was born.

 

 

Then there’s Cool J who’s 11.  They call him that because his real initials are LL.  Since he was about 2, I’ve called him Cole Brown, because he’s short & thick.  His genetics dictate he’ll {probably} never be taller than 5’6”.  He’s a mama’s boy to the bone!  He’s quite sensitive at times & a pit bull at others.  True Piscean.

 

 

Then there are the twins – 7 year-old Cancer females.  They are as different as night & day.  One is kinda bossy and must be heard.  The other is shy and reserved. 

 

 

This is where Nanny Rose, may she rest in peace, saved my life.  Without blinking an eye, she was willing to take them all if it meant keeping them out of the system.  Fortunately, it didn’t come to that.  She took her girls and I kept the boys.

 

 

This is also where having the kind of relationship I have with my manager paid off.  Due to the bullshit that comes with my bloodline, keeping secrets is too damn hard to do, so I've always shared most of the BS with her so she knew what was happening with me.  I've worked under her for a decade and just like my mother, she can look in my face and know that something's amiss.  Even tho she's partially disabled she offered to help.  She also made it easy for me to miss countless days from work to handle this situation.

 

 

Anybody who knows me, knows I had no intention of mothering any more children, let alone those who belong to someone else...family or not.  I used to be soooo glad my mother didn’t have a house full of kids, especially since I was the oldest.  She even told me once, had my father (who was 3^rd of 11) lived, she probably would’ve had a bunch of kids.  Despite all that, now is the time when multiple, responsible, capable & caring siblings would so be a blessing!  Alas, that’s not the case.

 

 

These kids have literally turned my life, my house & my wallet upside down & inside out.  I was footloose & fancy-free for a minute & then duty called.  I was free to come & go as I pleased with worrying about the well being of someone else.  I was free to sleep all damn day & skip meals if I so desired.  Me & “my friend” were free to walk around naked as the day we were born & make as much noise during those intimate times as we wanted, without covering up, locking doors & worrying about virgin ears hearing grown folks business.  God forbid if these boys accidentally see my “dawgs” roaming free or his "solider" seeking some attention.

 

 

When the situation 1^st arose, honestly, all I could think about was how I would be effected & how my life had to change. Selfish?  Maybe.  Honest?  Definitely!  I had to remember what my mother taught me about my selfishness a long time ago.  She would say, “MDB (of course using the entire name she had so carefully chosen for me), it’s not gonna always be about you!”  Let’s just say I think my mama knew.

 

 

To be continued……

Words to Live By

These are a few things, I've heard over the years and they tend to stick with me.

"The company you keep determines the trouble you meet." - Muda

"Girl, you aren't the only one in the world to go thru heartbreak.  Where do you think all those sad ass songs come from?" - Mama

"Find 'em stupid, keep 'em stupid." - Uncle (...you have to know my uncle)

"Y'all gon' miss me when I'm gone." - Papa

Feel free to share yours.