...and let me tell you why.
I had been in the house from about noon on Thursday until Monday morning. I even called in Friday & that was the company holiday party (since they cancelled Christmas *eyeroll*). I'm almost always a co-hostess (insert another *eyeroll*) but this year I wasn't feeling it. Two tears in a bucket, muthafuck it.
Anywho, we got all these freaking weather reports...some true...some not so true. Monday morning rolls around & I look outside to see what's happening in the streets. Kids & folks walking & waiting on bus stops. Neighbors warming up cars, etc. I get dressed & head out.
I step outside before selecting my outerwear, like I always do. Not bad...a lil nippy but not bad as they said.
I grabbed my coat, purse & lunch and proceed to leave. My foot touches the 1st step & down the fuck I went. Damn! 
I bounced down 3 steps like a damn basketball.
I gather my footing & go inside. My elbow was hurting like a mofo. My pants were wet, so I called my manager to let her know what happened and that I would be late (well, later than usual).
I sprinkle some of that ice melt stuff outside & go inside to change clothes. By the time I came back out, that tricky ass ice was gone.
I proceeded to defrost my car & see my neighbor coming around the corner with her baby (in a pumpkin seat). In the blink of an eye, she goes down!! The pumpkin seat hits the ground! 
I rushed (ok, ok...swiftly limped) my newly crippled ass over to help. I check the baby & she was still asleep. I help my neighbor up & watch her until she makes it inside her home.
I limp on into the office only to see 3-4 more newly crippled folks, thanks to Mother Nature.
I'm really feeling the aftershock today & have bruises on my back, elbow and ass to prove it.
Remind me why I haven't left the Midwest?
PS Remember the old Spencer Catalogs (the image)?
