Big & Beautiful Woman (BBW) Defined

I’d never even heard the term BBW until I started using Yahoo! back in 2001.  I saw several chat rooms that catered to these BBW and it wasn’t until I sent an IM to a young lady who had BBW as part of screen name, that I learned what it meant.  I started looking around Yahoo! and found many groups that catered to the BBW.  Wow!  I had finally found a place where my 200+ lbs ass would fit in & not be judged according to my dress size.   It was also a place to meet & mingle with the fellas (dubbed BBW Lovers/Admirers) who were attracted to a woman with a lil more than average weight on her.  I also encountered a few who I’d classify as BBW Predators, but that’s another story for another day. 

 

I'm not one to sugarcoat anything, including my weight.  I'm fat.  I've been called everything you can think of – overweight, thick, plump, fluffy, yadda, yadda - bottom line is - I'm fat.

 

There are days when I look in the mirror & feel like Miss Universe.  On these particular days you can’t tell me nothing!  Then there are days when I sigh & wonder.   Most people don’t realize it when looking at me because of the way I carry the weight, but according to the AMA, I am clinically, morbidly obese (BMI is 40+/100+ lbs overweight). 

 

Many moons ago, at 5 foot 8, I was a svelte 135 lbs, not more than 140 lbs…definitely not skinny, but not really thick (by street definition).  Perfect size 10 {or 12 if Muda was buying the clothes}.

 

I was always the biggest & tallest chic in my clique and sometimes felt out of place, but hey, that's what teenagers do.  Once a month water-weight gain would bring tears to my eyes. 

 

I didn’t start to gain weight until my senior year in high school, right after giving birth to my one & only.

 

Now, I’ve seen several people speak on the subject of being/not being a Big & Beautiful Woman/Big Handsome Man (BBW/BHM).  Some of these topics are driven by desires of us who fit into the overweight, obese & even morbidly obese category and the desire to lose weight & become fit.  Some are driven by the way other people look at us simply because we’re fat.  Some people are honest to a fault & some are simply delusional. 

 

Some jackasses are just outright fucking rude.  We need neither judge nor jury telling us that we are fat, need to lose weight, our bodies are a temple, etc. etc.  Hello, Einstein!! Now tell us something we don’t know.   Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, we're supposed to be fat? *lol*

 

I will be the 1^st to admit, unlike a lot of my sisters, I do know the difference between thick (which happens one of the most misused terms I’ve ever heard/seen in my life) & fat.  Contrary to popular belief, they are not one in the same.  For those who maybe unsure, here’s my take on it:

 

You are fat if:

• your waistline is the same or larger than your 40+ inch bust line
• your inner thighs applaud when you run down stairs (me!)
• you could start a fire with the friction between said thighs (me!)
• you have trouble bending over (due to belly fat) to tie/buckle your shoes (me!)
• you have no neck
• you cannot feel your collarbone  (heard that from a friend)
• you have a top & bottom stomach (heard that from a different friend & I still bugg up everytime she says it)
• you cannot climb a flight of stairs without gasping for dear life & you aren’t asthmatic
• you need a seat-belt extender on a commercial flight
• you stand in the mirror & must lift your stomach just to see your vagina/penis
• your back fat could pass for a 2^nd set of breasts
• you have man breasts
• you wear low-rise jeans (which yo ass really shouldn’t) and you have that whole muffin top look happening
• you suffer from Dunlap Syndrome (your belly done lapped over your waistband)
• your upper arm fat overlaps your elbows
• your feet look like ham hocks in your shoes
• you cannot comfortably fit in the bathtub (unless you are Shaq)
• you have cracked/broken a toilet bowl
• you cannot use an average store bought scale, considering the good ones don’t max until 310 lbs.)
• you have a handicapped parking placard or plates because you would damn near die and/or your lower extremities couldn’t take it (due to weight) if you had to walk from the far end of the parking lot
• you don't see a doctor regularly because you don't want to know your true weight & you don't want to hear the sermon about how you need to lose it

{Fellas, even tho this is geared towards the sisters, I threw a few bullets in for you as well.}

 

If you fall into even a few of the bullet points above & you still need to/tend to refer to yourself as thick to make you feel better, God bless you.

 

I even knew a chic who was about was 350 lbs. easily and a tad bit shorter than I am, but considers herself “fit” because she had no other health issues.  Ummm ok.  Neither do I, but fit doesn’t describe me or those like me.  I could definitely go on, but I think you get the general idea.

 

Granted, there are some fat folks who really need a reality check, but on the other hand, they are so far gone, there’s nothing you could say to convince them otherwise.

 

Beautiful comes in all shapes, sizes and colors.  You do not have to be a size 0- 12 to be beautiful.  For the record, zero is not a size for a grown woman. It's a cry for help.  (Nah, I'm just kidding as I know a few size zero sisters.)

 

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. (My t-shirt in the pic reads "I may be big, but you're ugly and I can lose weight!)

 

I just had to get this off my chest & I thank you for listening.