I've always been one to speak my mind & have many memories of the split and busted lips I suffered during my teen years to prove it. Those close to me know I'm not one to call shit Shinola (lawd I just dated myself didn't I?), nor will you piss on my head & tell me it raining. It's just not happening. I do not sugarcoat....maybe to a fault.
I do make an honest effort not to be rude, crude or hurtful, but sometimes the truth hurts. If you ask me, I will be honest. My close friends and family have learned to tell me first if they just want an ear. In turn, I've learned to keep my comments to myself.
Muda, my granny, my rock was the person who said the most hurtful thing ever said to me. One day she was combing my hair (which was no easy task) and she said and I quote, "Your mother had to go & marry the blackest man she could find." *sigh* Here I am, not more than 8 or 9 years old wondering what the hell was wrong with my daddy. I knew she loved my daddy & couldn't figure out why she would say such a thing about him. Even tho my Grandfather & Step-Grandfather were two of the biggest, blackest men I'd even seen in my life, my granny was still color-struck.
After that day, I developed terrible complex about my skin-tone & for those who have seen my kin, they can tell you why. When Papa noticed he said, "Don't worry Pumpkin, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice." It was the 1st time I heard that & really didn't understand what it meant.
Well, I've since gotten over it worrying about something I cannot control & that really shouldn't have bothered me to start with.
I have to admit, I can't help but laugh just a little when my family has to go lay in the sun to get a little color. (Nothing against my light-skinned sisters & brothers, cause I love y'all too.)
I never got the chance to tell my granny that she really did hurt my feelings, and that I am happy with the skin I'm in....and so are all of my loyal fans! *wink*
Yeah, my Foster sister used to say that I was mixed. My Mama is black and My Daddy is black as HELL!!! I used to LAUGH at that shit, even though it DID kinda hurt. It was still funny, though. HEHE. But I take after him, even in the skin department. I kinda like it. I'm a sexy ass mutha. *Poppin' my Colla*
ReplyDeleteThat's why I luv yo azz man!
ReplyDeleteyou know you took afta muda right?
ReplyDelete:)
but like you said those of us who know you KNOW you and love you!
I'm glad you got over it...but that just hit me hard and with tears when I read it...I never expected that..
ReplyDeleteyou probably know I'm white, but I think black people have had enough to put up with from whites in the past and present, so when it comes from somebody close that must be even worse
"I've always been one to speak my mind & have many memories of the split and busted lips I suffered during my teen years to prove it."
me as well
Exactly!!
ReplyDeletePS My granny was bi-racial and could "pass".
Mo, I'm so glad that you have moved past that and learned to love the skin you're in. I had my own problems with my skin, but the opposite, i'm so white/light I can't even get a tan, only through a fake-n-bake (sunless tanner) and being a lil mixed, it's always irritated the hell outta me. I would never look at myself in the mirror b/c I just couldn't stand to see my white skin. I've finally moved past that myself and have learned to love me and the skin I'm in.
ReplyDeleteI'm just sayin'. HEHE.
ReplyDeleteand I Luv yo azz, too.
My sister is color struck. She used to tease me and say I'm so dark and I'm from Africa. As a child I felt less loved because I was darker than her. I think I got over that mess when I was in the 5th grade when boys started noticing me. And now, no one can tell me nothing about my skin color. I love it.
ReplyDeleteSome lighter skinned folks have similar pains too. I've been told I'm siddity or high-falutin' 'cause of my color. Which I can't control. And I went through a time where I was extra militant to prove my blackness.
ReplyDeleteBut kiss my ass. I am who I am. I love me. Yellow skin that burns in the sun and all.
Toy, me and you are >< . I get all emotional talking about the hi-yella haters...but let's just say, there is some ill isht that goes along with being light skinned. Alot of folks make assumptions that just aren't true...and say things that are very hurtful.
ReplyDeletei myself, always wanted deeper, darker skin...but I got what I got...gotta love it!
Girlllllll, because so many folks think "high yellow skin" is cute or desirable, it gives others permission to say all types of wrong, hurtful ish out of their mouths. And you're supposed to take it because you are "desirable" in most people eyes. Like back-handed compliments aren't really daggers that draw blood too.
ReplyDeletethis is what Obama has had to work through also, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteam hoping someone's gonna buy me his books for Christmas...
I know one of them talks about his struggles in this matter.
You certainly didn't come across that way to me. I guess some folks are just quick to judge based on hearsay & prior back experiences.
ReplyDeleteSo true.
ReplyDeleteOne of my younger cousins is a "hi-yella hater". She feels just like I felt a long time ago (stemming from our family). She's 23 & still has issues. I'm working with her on it tho.
ReplyDeleteI know of these types of things all to well as it happened in my family a lot. My mother was light and my dad is dark, and the kids are mostly on one side of the other (I'm probably the most median one, though some would say I'm more on the dark side). But hearing about my older brothers and sisters growing up and the color issues was very enlightening, if not disconcerting. Like with my 3 oldest brothers, 2 of them are light and one is dark, and the dark brother TO THIS DAY has some deep seeded complexion issues. He resented that he wasn't light like the other two. So much so that he wouldn't even date a woman unless she was "light, bright and damn near white" as he put it.
ReplyDeleteThen with the next set of siblings (yes, it was so many of us that we had to grow up in shifts lol) my sisters are light and my 3 brothers that grew up with them always talk about how they used to call them black. One of my brothers to this day will not even look at a light skinned woman and he says it's all because of them lol.
I guess the most disturbing statement made to me though, was when my aunt told me not to bring a dark skinned woman home because we "already had enough dark skinned people in our family". That really upset me, 1) because of the utter self deprecation of it and 2) I actually preferred dark skinned women lol. But with the younger generations in my family I don't see it as much so I guess generations play a role as well.
You know I had issues with my grandmother and her color issues. JT would probably be the "prized" great grandchild today because he's the only brown one. Pffft
ReplyDeleteThat right there made me Holler out.
ReplyDeleteIt's true lol. It was the pretty much the first 4 as first shift, then the second 4 as second shift, then the last 3 was the latenight shift lol.
ReplyDeleteI feel really peed off...
ReplyDeleteas it's us white people who put that on you...
it would never have come otherwise...
it's like..
'don't you have enough problems in history to deal with'
in my mind [with slavery and stuff]
my dad was Irish, so I am sort of Celtic pale...hate it as I look half dead all the time...
but I haven't had to cope with that and it just is not fair...
yes, we have had much crap, but not stuff like that...on top of the rest
I never really had issues with my color. However, I do know that some of the older members of my family were color struck. My great grandmothers were light skinned, had that pretty hair, and I guess it came from the times when they grew up. They were always quick to speak on how "black" a person is. Ironically, their husbands were dark skinned. I never understood that.
ReplyDeleteI'd bet my next check, that is the root of the problem most times.
ReplyDelete