Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy birthday Frankie B! You would’ve been 65 years old today…wow!  Officially a senior citizen!  :)

It’s been 34 years since you left this earth & this letter to you will be short & sweet* since my time with you was extremely limited.

Daddy, 1^st of all, I want you to know even though I have only a few vague memories of you, I love & miss you so very much!

You know Muda taught me never to question His Will, but Daddy, I can’t help but wonder why you were taken away from me, from us. Thanks to your baby sister, Mama, Muda & Papa, I know what a wonderful man you were, how you provided for us and how you loved & adored your Chocolate Doll aka Me!

Do you know that I had one of your old pajama shirts & I slept in it quite often? I had it until it fell apart in the washer. For some reason sleeping in that shirt made me feel protected.

Mama also kept your walking stick for many years. She explained to me how that accident at work caused you to lose your sight & you had to get that stick to help you get around. Mama also told me that you wanted her to put you in a home once your sight was completely gone because you couldn’t bear to be around me & not be able to see me. I’m sooooooooo glad she didn’t listen to you! Daddy, the few memories I do have are more precious than you know.

I also had your old lawn chair & no one could sit in it but me! I stored it under my bed just to be sure nobody touched it. Selfish, I know. I kept it until it finally fell apart.

I also asked Mama why we only had a few photos of you & she told me you were extremely camera-shy. Even though a few people think I look like you, this is definitely one trait your one & only did not inherit.

Do you know I cry every year on my birthday because that’s the day I miss you the most? The only explanation I can come up with is that I know I was definitely Daddy’s Little Girl & my birthdays would’ve been that much more special with you spoiling me even more rotten than I already was (thanks to Muda).

Do you know when I hear “Precious Lord” I immediately start to cry? I know this song was sung at your funeral & even though I don’t recall that day, this song takes me there.

I often ask, “Why did my daddy have to die?” when so many monsters continue to roam the earth. When I asked Muda, she said, “The good die young and His Will be done.”

If a little girl ever needed her father, it was me! Daddy, I know you loved Mama, just like we all did, but you know your wife/my mama was off the chain and I say that with the utmost love & respect.

When Muda found out I was pregnant, the 1^st thing she said was, “This wouldn’t be happening if your daddy was alive!!” For some reason, I tend to believe her.

Sometimes when weird would stuff happen around the house, especially in a room I happened to be in, Mama & Muda would say it was you trying to get my attention. I told them I didn’t believe in ghost. Muda said, “If your daddy appeared to you right now, would you believe?” My answer was no. Then she said, “If your daddy appeared to you right now & slapped the taste outta your mouth, would you believe?” My answer was an emphatic, yes!

Muda also believed that I was always under your care.  Daddy, I did get out of pocket at times & just thinking about some of the crap I did gives me chills.  I got myself into some very foolish and sometimes dangerous situations, but I always made it out unharmed.  Muda would say, "Silly child, there's an angel on your shoulder and it's your daddy."  Again, who I am to question her? 

Now, when weird stuff happens around my house I don’t know if it’s you, Mama, Tyra (Stephon {your hard-headed grandson} & Monte claimed they’ve seen her in the basement), Muda or Papa. I just close my eyes & remind myself that you all loved me & wouldn’t be here to hurt me.

Daddy, if I ever come into a generous sum of $$, I’m gonna move you from your current resting place & put you with Mama & Tyra. Mama would have a fit, saying it was a waste of money, but I think you’d be more comfortable there. So later for all of her yang. (Now I gotta be careful because she'll be creeping into my dreams for getting smart.)

Oh, and daddy, if I ever have the wedding I dream of, I want your spirit there. There will be 5 memory candles burning, one in your honor.

I’m gonna close this letter by saying I love you & miss you so very much.

Love always,

Monni B

PS Daddy, if it’s not too much to ask, I need you watch over my son.  Even tho it's slowly but surely getting better, I've still got the teenage boy blues.

*Not so short, huh?