Did you know......
- Muda (maternal grandmother) is the reason why I'm the brat I am today?
- my inconsiderate, out-of-town, relatives listed my dearly departed mother as "deceased child" on her mother's (Muda) obituary? Even tho they apologized profusely, no one accepted full responsibility for the alleged oversight & it still pisses me off today.
- the day following Muda's burial, I wrote my own obituary & clearly spelled out how I want my "homegoing" services to flow?
- even tho Muda was my everything & I hers, she said some of the things that hurt me the most?
- that my skin tone made me feel like an outcast in my own family? If you've seen them, you know why.
- as a result of feeling this way, I was introverted until I was a teenager?
- I used my then 36-28-36 frame to get {what I thought was} much needed attention from the opposite sex?
- I had mixed feelings about telling Muda I was pregnant as I knew she would "fix" the situation so I wouldn't ruin my future?
- me & my mom (RIP) were pregnant at the same time? Her with my baby sister (RIP). This is quite common in my family. We weren't the 1st & probably won't be the last.
- I don't think my mother & baby sister are at peace?
- I love my middle sister, but I can't stand her?
- my sister had one assignment for our mom & sisters' funeral service & she couldn't complete that?
- some of my father's (RIP) family didn't believe I was his child? Muda nipped all of that crap in the bud when I made my grand entrance.
- my father was one of eleven & I only have a relationship with one of my aunts?
- my father lost his sight due to an on the job injury & wanted my mother to put him in a home because he didn't think he could bear not being able to see his baby girl?
- I was barely 3 years old when my daddy died & I still cry myself to sleep sometimes because I miss him so?
- my father's family convinced him to settle for a measly ass $1,000 for his injury?
- I regret the relationship with my son's biological?
- if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't? Motherhood isn't for everyone & I had sense enough to recognize it before having a tribe of children.
- this is reason why my son is an only child?
- I remained celibate for one (1) year after the birth of my son? I was deathly afraid of ending up with yet another mouth to feed.
- it's hard for me to accept the fact that my child doesn't grasp academics like I did?
- I trust my friends more than I trust my family?
- I still believe in "Happily Ever After"?
- if I fell ill today, I could only count on my Aunt Carolyn & a few friends to handle things for me?
- I keep track of my lovers? Not that the list is that damn long, but the document, a diary of sorts, is safely tucked away.
- my ex proposed to me - at my office, in front of my colleagues & friends after I busted his ass for cheating?
- I get tired of being everything to everybody?
- generally I'm a happy person & enjoy kicking it with my friends, but I'm just as happy all by my damn self?
- me & the boyfriend have hit some rough spots? Good news is we’re working out just fine.
Pfft, tell me some stuff I don't know...j/k
ReplyDelete"that my skin tone made me feel like an outcast in my own family? If you've seen them, you know why."--You're still more beautiful than all of em I've seen. Light skin don't mean shit.
"it's hard for me to accept the fact that my child doesn't grasp academics like I did?"--I'm going through the same thing RIGHT NOW.
"I get tired of being everything to everybody?" --Amen! But it's only because you can handle it, they can't.
"me & the boyfriend have hit some rough spots? Good news is we’re working out just fine."--as long as you keep communicating, the rough spots won't seem so rough afterward. (I'm cheering for you)
Grandmothers are funny like that... mine seemed to relish in making me feel like paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe... but I guess in hindsight she had a lot to deal with and didn't always feel like being nice. I know I don't.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear that... Im happy.. but when Im gone be able to wear a pink taffeta dress,,
ReplyDeleteGOOD YALL WORKIN ON THINGS I WISH U THE BEST
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. My Grandmother spoiled me ROTTEN until the day she died. Gotta love Granny's, huh?
ReplyDeleteI miss my Nana. She spoiled me too!!! *sniffle*
ReplyDeleteI miss my grannies(great & grand)my great-grandmother was my rock, my rhyme, my reason, she was an amazing woman and always found a way out of no way. I'd give anything to nuzzle up to her again and tell her how good she smells so she can tell me "thank ya, I bathed this morning" LMAO!! I know where I got my smart ass mouth from.......Irma Porch(the front Porch not the back)Blackman Stegall.
ReplyDeleteThat's not hard to believe given all that has transpired in family history.
ReplyDeleteI feel the EXACT same way about my peeps.
I need to write one of these. It's cleansing. I see you had some stuff on your mind.
ReplyDeletevery interesting info! I did know a few of them, but not most :)
ReplyDeleteSis, I'm passin thru, and I must tell you this moved me in ways that you will never know...
ReplyDeleteall i can do is say, Thank You!
she got me too.
ReplyDelete"I was barely 3 years old when my daddy died & I still cry myself to sleep sometimes because I miss him so? "
ReplyDeletemy daughter experienced the death of her dad at 3 yrs old... and she is still affected by it... any tips on how I can help console her? After reading this I know she will deal with this well into her adult life. I'd just like to help make it easier on her...
Bless you for sharing!
@Brownsugahbabe....My daughter lost her dad at the tender age of 6, we had grief counseling and thru the years I told her funny stories about her dad. She will be 25 this month, and he will always be in her memories. I kept his light shining. Recently when her masters degree came in the mail she cried because she couldn't show it to him. I reminded her he is an angel always looking over her shoulder and he is proud. Just because she can't see him doesn't mean his spirit isn't with her always.
ReplyDeleteI called my grandmother 'Momma' she is the reason I am spoiled today. I understand what you say. I also had a banginig body and used it. I only have one child, she is older actually closer to your age but academics totally escaped her. For reasons I was a bit of an introvert until I grew into my body then I changed. I guess with the exception of age we are sort of kindred spirits. @Brownsugahbabe it is never to late to start counseling with your daughter to handle the grief of her father. and you might find more comfort there for yourself too. Loss is never easy to handle at any age and you never know when it pops up. I lost before and it was over 8 years ago and I still have issues with it at times. Like this season.
ReplyDeleteWe've spent too much time together! :)
ReplyDeleteThat's a negative chief! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks lady! We give each other the bizness but it makes for a very interesting relationship.
ReplyDeleteYa know?!
ReplyDeleteIt really is cleansing & you might just help someone else along the way.
ReplyDeleteAnytime lady!
ReplyDeleteMy mother, aunt & maternal grandparent made sure I knew all the good about my daddy & that his memory & love for me was never forgotten. I only have 2 photos of him because he was extremely camera shy.
ReplyDeleteI often feel cheated. All these good-for-nothing baby daddies roaming around & my daddy died at age 30 from illness.