Cheating can be Painful!

http://www.kmov.com/localnews/stories/kmov-stlouis-news-090324-biting-ear.6a548561.html?npc
Man accused of biting off victim’s ear - the perpetrator attacked the victim, whom he believes was having an affair with his wife.

I was His Mistress....

and then he died!

 

Catchy title, huh? I think it makes for an interesting discussion.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say you are/were a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover of a married person & this person dies. For the sake of this discussion, let's also say this person maintained a home elsewhere & at the time of passing, the two of you were not cohabitating aka shacking up.

As the outside lover, do you feel you have the right to attend and/or mourn at the wake/funeral/memorial/burial service? What if you had children with the deceased?

I would hope to not put myself in that situation, but stranger things have happened. If I was the secret lover, I would keep my distance. If I was truly in love with the man, I would avoid the funeral. I know I wouldn't be able to contain my emotions. As for any children, they unfortunately have to suffer for the choices we made. I would probably grieve with them at the burial site....way after the fact. I would try not to cross paths with the family...at all cost.

On the flip side, if you are the widow/widower, how do you think you'd react if a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover (and possible children) came to pay their respects to your dearly departed spouse?

As long as I didn't know who she was, I can't really say. She could slip in & out and no one is none the wiser. If I did know who she was, I would hope she wouldn't invade my family's space & grieving process. If she did, I couldn't guarantee her safety. If there were minor children involved & I knew of them I would ask for the strength to extend the olive branch, for the sake of the youngsters. If the children are older, I don't think I'd have a problem with their presence as long as they acted accordingly.

Before you say, "Well I would never....", keep in mind people lie all the time & sometimes innocents get caught up unintentionally.

Even if you haven't been in such a situation, I still want to hear from you.