Here's my question - if you are believer, when your time comes, who is the one (1) person you think will be waiting for you in "the light" and/or who is the one (1) person you want waiting for you?
For me, the list is long but if I have to choose one, it would be my daddy. I had so little time with him, but I still miss him so.
PS Happy Valentine's Day!
I'm not looking for a pity party, just releasing....
Saturday, I attended a home-going service for my BFF's grandmother. Afterwards, I went to my mother & sister's grave and had a good long cry with my 2 BFF's right by my side. {Boyfriend wanted to go, but he can't stand to see Superwoman cry so I told him I had who I needed and would be OK....and I was.}
I've lost way too many people I love in this 10 day span of the calendar, including but not limited to: my daddy, mother, sister, a boyfriend, an aunt, an uncle and grandmother (the last 3 were not my blood-my BFF's-but they were my family all the same).
I did some shopping for gifts today hoping it would lift my spirits, but I guess my spirit just ain't feeling it.
Next December, good Lord willing & the creek don't rise, I'll be on somebody's all-inclusive resort or cruise ship.
I don't know her personally & probably never will, but my heart is breaking for Jennifer, her loved ones & friends. With the exception of losing a brother (I never had one), I know exactly what she's going thru. Maliciously losing a mother & young child, having a sister who seems to choose the wrong men, being the one who identifies the bodies, the one the police & media come to with all the questions, the one who has to take the lead & be in control, the one whom everyone seems to think is the rock & the one they all tend to lean on.
I've shared my story here, but the one thing I didn't mention is the who, as in the lousy bastard who murdered my mother & 10-year old baby sister almost a decade ago. My middle sister was sleeping with the enemy, literally.
10 years later & I still can't seem to wrap my mind around & get out what I really want to say. I can say this - I hope women will wake the hell up & take a little more precaution when getting involved with men who are only out for themselves & mean no earthly good to the women they attract.
What I went thru & what Jennifer is going thru was no random act of violence - that shit is personal!
I am Jennifer....and she is me.
| Rating: | ★★★★★ |
| Category: | Other |
| Rating: | ★★★★★ |
| Category: | Other |
Yesterday, my twin (hey Twin!) posted a blog about graveyard visits, which prompted me to pose this question to you. (Check the poll & feel free to comment as you would like.)
Me, myself personally & the rest of my immediate family*, will be laid to rest at Laurel Hills - the resting place of my mother, my sister, my play aunt, my BFF's step-dad (was like an uncle to me) and my ex uncle-in-law (who at my cousins' request, happens to be just a few plots from my mom & sister). I guess this is now our official place.
*My uncle is a vet and Uncle Sam has a place waiting for him, but he has instructed me to have him cremated. Afterwards, he wants his ashes tossed into a flowing body of water. I told him once I got the insurance check, I'm booking a Caribbean or Alaskan cruise and will carry out his final wish. Who I am to deny him? :o)
Click here for a prior interesting link & discussion.
I came to know Ms. Rose about 6 years ago. She was the grandmother to a friend of my sister's. When she 1st laid eyes on the twins (my nieces), they were "her" grandbabies. I was happy about that since they will never know my mother.
Ms. Rose was that elder black woman who never met a stranger & whose door was always open.
When things went awry in my family last summer, she was right there for me. Never blinking an eye! For that, she will always be in my heart.
She told me then that even tho we weren't blood, I was no different than any of her grandchildren. She even whispered that she liked me better than most of them anyway.
I noticed a few weeks back she seemed to be getting worse, but she would never say so. She didn't want anybody fussing or worrying over her.
The last time I called to check on her, I asked if she needed anything. Most times she said no, but this time she wanted 3 tacos from Jack in the Box, some bottled water and some band-aids. When I got to her house my heart dropped. Here was this vivacious, blonde haired senior citizen, now barely able to breath or speak. I almost started to cry. She hushed me. She then managed to whisper, "I'm not afraid & I love you."
I told her I loved her right back & I was only a phone call away. She said, "I know. I've always known." That was our last conversation.
She was cremated today, per her wishes and a memorial service will be held next Saturday at her church home. I know her suffering is over and she is at peace.
Rest in Peace Nanny Rose. You will be missed. Every time I watch Lackawanna Blues, I'll think of you.
Love,
Your Big Baby
Have you ever had a near-death experience - being in a situation where you learned what the term "my life flashed before my eyes" really means?
Let me tell you about the one experience I had. Feel free to share yours.
About 17-18 years ago, I was watching TV and eating pizza with my son's father. I don't recall what we were watching, but at one point, I got extremely tickled while I still had pizza in my mouth. I started to choke on a piece of sausage from the pizza. My ex didn't realize it because {I think} he thought I was still laughing. I managed to grab him & he realized I was breathing in but not out. I also think he saw the fear in my eyes.
My life literally started to flash before my eyes & I panicked! I ran to the bathroom & luckily, he was right behind me. I had never been so scared in my life. He grabbed me around the waist and performed the Heimlich Maneuver. After a few seconds, the sausage came up & I could breathe!! I just sat on the bathroom floor and cried.
As a result of this incident, I now have a deep-rooted fear of asphyxiation/choking to death.
PS Does this mean I owe my baby's daddy my life? *eyeroll* & *lol
