Family First?

What would you do?

Stay out of it & keep your mouth shut. After all, Family First!

 

 2

Address your loved one & let it go.

 

 4

Address your loved one & give an ultimatum, i.e. dropping a dime to new boo.

 

 0

Tell new boo your loved one isn't worth it & to move on.

 

 0

Tell the ex he/she has been replaced & to move on.

 

 0

Arrange a meeting between the 3 and let them duke it out.

 

 0

Arrange a meeting between new boo & the ex & let them duke it out.

 

 0

Other - please leave a comment.

 

 1

Here's a scenario for your comments/feedback.

Your loved one meets someone, a good someone, probably too good for your loved one (you know your people & you know who & what kinda of people they deserve..don't play). 

The new couple seems to hit it off OK  & you're actually relieved he/she has found someone new.  However, unbeknownst to new boo, your loved one is still involved with his/her alleged ex.   New boo & the ex know about each other, but that's about all. 

You/your family really likes new boo & actually prefers him/her over the ex, but give the situation time to play out. 

After a period time, you realize your loved one is either playing games, can't decide between the two or just being greedy/selfish in regards to the non-conventional 3-some.  Even tho your loved one has developed feelings for new boo & he/she just can't/won't let the ex go. 

Considering the history with the ex is less than desirable & there are no other ties (property, kids, etc.), would you (see poll)....?

Feel free to comment as you like.

 

Melanie Fiona - Give It To Me Right

This is my new turn it up loud & sing along JAM!

Has Facebook Replaced Multiply?

Rating:	★★
Category:	Other

I originally joined FB to spy on the boy, my God-daughter & other youngins I care about. Then I noticed a lot a people I already some kind of relationship on there. I'm also connected to several of you in both spots & notice much more activity on FB. I'm still learning FB but will stay in Plyville, if only for the blogging.

I created a FB rule for myself - only connect to current connections ('Ply, 360, Myspace), friends, family & classmates. I'm not in the business of collecting friends. I can't keep up with the people in my house, let alone 889 web-connects. LOL

Now back to the original question - Has Facebook replaced Multiply? What say you?

Boyfriend 2.0 + Me = ?

Sisters, I value your input & this is only open to a select few of you.....and my apologies for the scattered thoughts as they are all over the place at the moment.

While I really do love this man, I have to let him go...at least for a little while.   We've had a pretty decent relationship considering we're both pretty stubborn & outspoken.  We've had our ups & downs but nothing we couldn't get past.  Sometimes it was hard because I'm an admitted grudge-carrier and he's the exact opposite.  You piss me off and I'll ignore you for days.  Piss him off at noon and he'll be wanting to cuddle by 2pm.

We had an issue Superbowl Sunday & it got outta hand.  There was no violence, but if looks could kill...  Anyway, a chain of events was triggered (I may come & fill in the blanks later) and things haven't been right since. 

Earlier this week we got into a heated argument that ended with him destroying some things his money did not pay for and in turn I had to call the police.   I was in total shock by his behavior!  Even tho we argue, he's never got violent.  Since the damage he caused to my property was over $1,000, a felony warrant was issued for his arrest.

Keep in mind, this man is my cousin's bro-in-law and I've gotten to know his family pretty well over the last year.  They all were genuinely happy about our relationship.

So, after I called the cops, I called his mother, aunt & 2 brothers.  Like me, they were in disbelief, but never questioned my honesty about what he did.  They knew it was true.  His brother even drove almost 200 miles the next day to come & get him but they couldn't find him.

A few days went past and I didn't hear from him.  Then I start to receive "restricted" calls on my cell. (I have Privacy Manager on my landline.)    I answered a few times & he just held the phone.  I called my family & friends so they would know what was happening.....just in case.  His family would call everyday to be sure I was OK as he was not responding to their calls.

Late Saturday night, he calls and begs me not to hang up and to hear him out.  It was about 2:30 am and even tho I was/am still pissed, I was not in the mood cuss a negro out.   He apologized & admitted his rage was fueled by alcohol and I told him he needed to go home (his aunt works in the mental health field)  & get some professional help, as he was out of control.  Surprisingly, he knew I was right.   I later found out that his brother urged him to call me and apologize even if it got him cussed the hell out.

He goes on to tell me how he cannot believe he fucked the best thing that's ever happened to him (i.e. me) and how his family is livid with him about what he did to me.  He didn't want to face his family because he was/is ashamed & embarrassed about the damage he caused. 

I found out today that his aunt is sending him away to an alcohol treatment program (thank you Lord!).  Shortly after I got that news, I got another apology voicemail and a request that I be there when he leaves. 

Even tho I'm still pissed about the aggravation this whole event has caused, I still want him to get help & get better.  He's a good man, with a heart of gold, he just needs to sever the relationship with the liquor.

I'm still undecided about being there when he leaves, as I know people in his shoes need all the support they can get.  However, I am not dropping those charges until I get restitution, paid in full, plus some.

How Many Have You Had?

How many sexual partners have you had?

None - I'm a virgin.

 

 1

1 and only 1.

 

 0

2 - 5

 

 3

6 - 10

 

 3

11 - 20

 

 1

21 - 25

 

 1

26+

 

 1

Hell, I lost count a long time ago.

 

 6

Boyfriend 2.0 has a major problem when talk of my past relationships surface.  Keep in mind he's 35 years old and has had no more than 6 serious girlfriends in his lifetime.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but hell, I had more boyfriends than that before I graduated high school. 

Case in point - my 2 BFFs were at my house a few weeks ago and we started talking about all the shenanigans we used to partake in back in the day and when they started in on me & a few names of exes came up, Boyfriend 2.0 left the room. 

Later on, I asked why he left and he said he had no interest in hearing about me & exes.  OK, fine.  He said, "No man wants to know about or think of all the men his woman has been with."  *eyeroll*  I politely told him I'm obviously not a virgin, nor am I saint.  I'm a woman who has a past.  A past that I'm not ashamed of.  Granted, I regret quite a few things, but it all contributed to the woman I am today, and for that, I have no shame.  He didn't want to continue the conversation & asked that I drop it.  OK, whatever.

This got me to thinking, does he now view me as some kind of whore because of my past?  Did he have me on some kind of pedestal & now I'm a fallen angel?

Whatever it is, it's not that bad because he's still here, right? Right!

Now that my lil rant is over, feel free to comment & answer the poll question.

16 & Pregnant - Part I

I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  However, I take full responsibility for my actions.  I have a love that I'd never known, several grey hairs, a trunk full of disappointments with a few proud moments sprinkled here & there, endless sleepless nights and a voicemail/email full of, "Ma, I need (insert any random amount of $$ here)".  That's my boy! 

As I look(ed) around at the proud mommies to be, flossing those baby bumps (and I think that is the cutest term ever) I can't help but wonder what it would've been like to be preggo & proud.  At 16, I was anything but. 

I contemplated telling my grandmother.  I knew she'd "fix" it so I wouldn't ruin my future...after she recovered from the heart attack I would cause her.

I contemplated telling my mother (who I now know was bi-polar due to her traumatic birth & several brain surgeries) and depending on the day, that could've gone either way.

I talked it over with the donor & decided to come clean with my mother.  I practiced what I was going to say & everything.  I knew she was at the doctor's office & I would be ready when she got home.  She comes in the door & before I could say a word, she utters, "Guess what?!  I'm pregnant!"  WTF??  She can't be pregnant.  Her baby is 14  & I'm pregnant!  Damn.....

I never fessed up.  I just kept my shame to myself.  She did get wise when I was puking every morning before leaving for school.  She walked in on me once & bluntly asked, "Are you pregnant?"  I tearfully replied, "I don't know."  Hell I knew & never even took a test.  She looked in my face & said, "The hell you don't! I can see it your face."

I was still in denial for 4 months.  I not only disappointed myself, but my mama, grandparents, elder relatives & educators.  I know I truly hurt my grandparents & after I started to show, they never saw me.  I knew I wouldn't be able to take the looks in their eyes.  Cuts like a knife comes to mind.

I finally came to grips with it, when I could no longer fit my own clothes (I wasn't skinny but on the trim & slim side) had to start wearing the donors clothes...back when short sets were in.   I can say I did look cute in them.

I decided I'd just face the music.  I still went to school everyday, shame & all.  I maintained my A- GPA, but I became one of "those girls".  Fortunately, I didn't miss a beat.  It was a long hot summer in the unairconconditioned STL Public School System, but I survived it.

I had my baby a week before school started back.  Thank God, I didn't have to go back to school pregnant.

The saga will continue.....

FELLAS! I NEED YOU!

Well not you, but your input.

I know a lot of folks don't care for or listen to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, but I'm asking for your feedback on today's Strawberry Letter:

Please ignore the grammatical errors, etc.  This was copied from the website.

Date: 08/06/2008
Subject: Am I Doing Right By Her?

Hi Shirley, Steve, and Tommy im a 35 year old manager of a company and im having issues with my relationship.

My girlfriend has been complaining about my sexual performance and earlier last year on my 35th birthday (9/22) i came home early from work to see my girlfriend having sex with another man..However, i was not suprized because around June i overherd my girlfriend and her friends joking about my sexual length, width, and performance. I had thoughts of leaving her sometimes. I only think she stays with me for my money. She has an 8 year old son whom i get along with great she often tells me im a waste of a good looking brother.

Since December we both agreed i cannot satisfy her and I've been paying the man she has been cheating on me with 300 dollars a week to sleep with her and keep her satisfied. I give an extra 100 dollars if she wants him to spend the night. I'm going out of my mind right now while she is sleeping with another man.

As I write this, I'm in her sons room playing video games with him while she's with this man. More than once I have found myself sleeping in his room. . . he sleeps at the foot of the bed while i sleep at the head of the bed. I often cry myself to sleep and recently she has been talking to me with attitudes and disrespecting me and telling her friends. Her friends now call me Norbit and think its funny....i hate my life. I am a 35 year old man sleeping in a small bed with an 8 year old with super hero bedsheets.

Is there anyway my relationship could get any worse than this?

ps. Shirley does size really matter?

sincerly Am I Doing Right By Her?

Gimme 5......More.....

This is Part II of yesterday's blog:

 

This is for the single ladies & gents - gimme 5 reasons why you would like to be in serious relationship.

 

Here are my 5:  

1. The dating scene (at least in my town) is getting very old & quickly.
2. I'm tired of spending my precious time "training" them & in the end, it's all in vain.
3. I love to travel & as much as I love my road dawgs, I wants (yes wants!) me a man to travel the world with.
4. I've had my fun (probably more than my share, shhh.....) & I'm ready to get serious & share my life with someone special.
5. Last but not least, I want someone who can fix shit and who will get up to see what went "bump" in the night!  Y'all know I'm a scaredy cat! 

Your turn!

Gimme 5.......

 ....on the black hand side! 

This is for the single ladies & gents - gimme 5 reasons why you enjoy being single.  {Part II to follow.}

Here are 5 reasons I enjoy being single:

1. I can come & go as I please without answering to or checking in with someone.
2. When I have those days where I just don't want to be bothered (and there are many), I don't have to be.
3. I'm free to date, meet & mingle.
4. I can be quite selfish at times & don't like to share. {I'm working on this tho.}
5. A broken heart is the least of my worries.

What about you?

 

Open-Minded My @$$

"I'm open-minded."  and/or "I'm seeking a woman who is open-minded." 

I swear fo' God & 12 honest men, if one more man approaches me with this bull, I'm gonna be inclined to slap him to sleep!

What is it with all this "open-minded" crap?  Why don't you just come out &  say what you really mean?  Like, you're looking for a bi-female or one who participates in the lifestyle {swinging}.   99% of the time, that what it boils down to.  Fellas, I need you to chime in and let me know if I'm off-base or totally wrong.  I truly want to know.  Ladies, you should feel free to comment as well.

Speak on it.

PS Before y'all sentence me to burn at the stake, I will reiterate that I have nothing against homosexuals, bi-sexuals, tri-sexuals or swingers.  I do not & will not base my friendships on someone's {legal} sexual preferences.  Grown folks should do as they damn well please.

 

First Juanita Now Gary Coleman

http://www.divorcecourt.com/episode/index.asp#e909?category_id=52
Episode 9DC143
Thursday, May 01, 2008 :

GARY VS SHANNON – PART I
Today on a special two-part session of Divorce Court, 80’s child star Gary Coleman and his new wife Shannon have come to Divorce Court seeking Judge Toler’s advice on their troubled marriage before it’s too late. Gary says he met Shannon on a movie set and was glad to know Shannon did not know who he was when they first met. Shannon proposed a year later after an argument. Gary is in love with Shannon and calls her his “star protector”. Shannon says she is tired of Gary’s anger issues and blames her for anything that goes wrong and is sick of playing the “blame game.” Do not miss pat one of a special two-part session of Divorce Court. (Show #1753)

Episode 9DC144
Friday, May 02, 2008 :
GARY VS SHANNON – PART II
On the conclusion of a two part session of Divorce Court, both Gary Coleman and his wife Shannon Price agreed to come on Divorce Court because they wanted Judge Toler’s marital advice. Shannon says she is tired of Gary’s outbursts and head banging against the wall episodes. Shannon wants Gary to start going out with her instead of staying indoors playing video games and playing with his train sets. Shannon also says she wants to have kids but Gary is not fond of them. Gary says he does not like going out and would rather spend his tine with his train set. Gary also says he does not want to have kids because he does not like them. Do not miss the conclusion of a two-part session of Divorce Court. (Show #1761)

The Comfort of a Man

Ladies, I don't know about you all, but after all the shake, rattle & rolling that happened during the wee hours of the morn, I realized I need the comfort of a man more than I thought I did.

Now, don't get me wrong or think this is an act of desperation, because it's not.  That would be the case if I settled for any old yahoo who comes my way & that ain't even happening.  Now more than ever, I want the comfort my father gave my mother & my grandfather gave my grandmother.

I want not just any man, not somebody else's man, not a "too many women-not enough time" man, not a lazy, shiftless, self-absorbed man, not "another man's" man (we know they're out there), not a good-for-nothing, (well maybe a good screw) man.  An honest man, a strong man, a faithful man, a loving, caring & passionate man, a self-sufficient man, a providing & protective man, a satisfying man, a man who complements me, hell, a handy man....a manly man, a real man.

Fellas please don't take this as a rant from another bitter bitch, because it's not.  I know you are out there, maybe not in my 100 mile radius, but out there nonetheless.

Just something that was on my mind.

Stephanie said it best.  Click here for a listen.

The Other Baby Mama/Daddy

 

Baby Mama & Baby Daddy - 2 terms I have come to despise.  I've been {I say been because my baby is registered to vote} in those shoes, so I think I have a right. 

Sometimes I wonder how my "baby daddy" refers to me.  Since I'm 1st of 3...maybe even 4, it might be his "1st baby mama", my given/nick name, or "that bitch".  I'd place money on the latter of the 3. 

I know 2 of the other mamas and in one another's presence, we were cordial &  always had been.  I ain't never had a need or desire to fight over a man, especially one who is delinquent with the support payments.

2nd baby mama - she thought she was really doing something when she started dating him.  I even tried to warn her.   Well, after several years of bullshit, 2 kids and a gazillion ass whippings she bounced - taking their daughter but leaving their son.   I wonder if she ever remembered that warning I gave her.  That bastard hit me once & that was all she wrote.  That was the last altercation we had.  All in all, she was an OK chic and I trusted her with my son.  Of them all, he liked her best.

3rd baby mama - the one in question, I heard about, but never met.  My sister met her once & told me ole girl had slash marks on her wrists.  She has a daughter & alleged son with the ever popular donor.

4th baby mama - they are supposed to get married & she has preschooler, who happens to look just like his eldest brother (my son) did at that age & is currently prego (daddy will be 40 in Nov. *eyeroll*)

Not including the one yet to be born, baby daddy has 3 sons, 2 daughters, and possible. {Sound like a Spades game...*smh*}

I heard about some bouts with #2 & #3 (they were pregnant at the same time daughters born within a matter of weeks of each other).

When my son was younger, I did what I could to be cordial to these women because a lot of times my son was in their care.  God forbid if they got outta pocket about mine.  Heads would've rolled! 

My son is now living in Jefferson City with my BFF, going to school & working, so I no longer have to deal with his bio or his women.

My question to you is: what's your relationship like with the other baby mama(s)/daddy(ies)?

To Shack or Not to Shack....

that is the question.

Personally, I'm all for shacking up.  I've done it once & had we not, I'd probably would've been married and divorced by now.  Shacking prevented that whole fiasco! 

At this point in my life, I cannot see myself making a lifetime committment to someone I haven't shared space with.  I'm way too set in my ways.  Not saying I couldn't adjust or I'm unwillingly to compromise, because I am...for the right man.

There's just some things he might wanna know about Ms. Mo before he's on bended knee & vice versa.

I've been on my own since I was 19.  Saving myself for the right man is not an issue either.  I foolishly gave up that treasure long ago.

What say you?

My Shot at Interracial Dating

Magic/Mister/Doctor Mike has a blog on a similar subject.  His reply to my reply is what prompted me to share my experience.

About 5 years ago I met a guy at conference.  I could feel him watching me for most of the presentation.  It didn't creep me out or anything, but I did wonder what the hell he found so fascinating about me. 

During the break he came over & introduced himself. His name was Kim....yeah you heard me, Kim.  The man was Asian & about 4 inches shorter than me.  I spoke back & we engaged in lite conversation....or at least he did....we had a lil language barrier problem.  I had to ask him to repeat damn near everything he said. 

After the conference he gave me his card & had written his cell # on he back, and then asked for mine.  I thought, "What the hell...give it to him."  He called me a few days later.  Honestly, I had no intentions on calling him. 

After asking him to repeat himself several times, he asked if I had Yahoo.  I told him I did & we exchanged IM IDs.  Chatting was sooooooo much better.  He invited me dinner & told me to pick the place.  I did.

The day I was supposed to meet him, I called my BFF and gave her his info, told her where I was going & was on my way.

I got to the restaurant about 30 minutes early & he was sitting outside waiting for me. He held open the door & a table was waiting for us.

I looked over the menu & mentioned there were too many good choices.  He replied, "Whatever you want is fine." (once I understood him of course).  I ordered a very pricey surf & turf meal & a few cocktails.  It was dee-lish!  The dessert tray came around & I was gonna get the Bananas Foster when he suggested I should me try something new, so I did.  I ordered key lime pie.  It was OK.  Should've gotten my damn BF.

As we tried to talk over dinner I kept asking him to repeat himself.  It was very annoying for me, but it didn't seem to bother him.

It was then that I knew I'd never see this man again. 

We finished dinner, he paid the bill & we left.

He walked me to my car, tried to kiss me but I turned my cheek.  Did I mention we were eye to eye, but he was on the curb & I was on the surface.  (Me & my damn height hangups....)  I thanked him for the lovely dinner, got in my car & left. 

He called me several times after that evening, but I never answered.  I just couldn't bear to hurt his feelings.  I also deleted the IM ID I'd given him.

He finally gave up.

I hope he found what he was looking for.  I honestly think he might've been trying to fulfill some BBBW fantasy or curiosity with me.  Don't ask me why I think that...I just do.

The End.

Now, I know y'all got questions, so fire away.

 

I was His Mistress....

and then he died!

 

Catchy title, huh? I think it makes for an interesting discussion.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say you are/were a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover of a married person & this person dies. For the sake of this discussion, let's also say this person maintained a home elsewhere & at the time of passing, the two of you were not cohabitating aka shacking up.

As the outside lover, do you feel you have the right to attend and/or mourn at the wake/funeral/memorial/burial service? What if you had children with the deceased?

I would hope to not put myself in that situation, but stranger things have happened. If I was the secret lover, I would keep my distance. If I was truly in love with the man, I would avoid the funeral. I know I wouldn't be able to contain my emotions. As for any children, they unfortunately have to suffer for the choices we made. I would probably grieve with them at the burial site....way after the fact. I would try not to cross paths with the family...at all cost.

On the flip side, if you are the widow/widower, how do you think you'd react if a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover (and possible children) came to pay their respects to your dearly departed spouse?

As long as I didn't know who she was, I can't really say. She could slip in & out and no one is none the wiser. If I did know who she was, I would hope she wouldn't invade my family's space & grieving process. If she did, I couldn't guarantee her safety. If there were minor children involved & I knew of them I would ask for the strength to extend the olive branch, for the sake of the youngsters. If the children are older, I don't think I'd have a problem with their presence as long as they acted accordingly.

Before you say, "Well I would never....", keep in mind people lie all the time & sometimes innocents get caught up unintentionally.

Even if you haven't been in such a situation, I still want to hear from you.