Personally, I'm all for shacking up. I've done it once & had we not, I'd probably would've been married and divorced by now. Shacking prevented that whole fiasco!
At this point in my life, I cannot see myself making a lifetime committment to someone I haven't shared space with. I'm way too set in my ways. Not saying I couldn't adjust or I'm unwillingly to compromise, because I am...for the right man.
There's just some things he might wanna know about Ms. Mo before he's on bended knee & vice versa.
I've been on my own since I was 19. Saving myself for the right man is not an issue either. I foolishly gave up that treasure long ago.
What say you?
I've done it before... but I will NOT do it again.
ReplyDeleteSomehow... I knew this was coming... lmaooooooooooooooo
ReplyDeleteI have never done it and I prefer not to. But let me tell you what I DON'T like!
ReplyDeleteI met a guy, we talked, we decided to make it official...we're in a relationship. Why did this fool think it was ok to take a shower over my crib and just basically call my place HOME?
Now I realize that's the natural progression for a lot of people, but that's not how I roll. I may eventually allow you to "live" with me, but you better believe we will be dating for some time before that happens. And there probably will be a meeting with some paperwork signed! I will not call you my man today and let you move in tomorrow. HECK NAWL!
Never shacked... thought about it once... but couldnt bring myself to do it, kinda was waiting for that Biblical processs to take place... Find a guy, get involved, love his ass to death, he proposes, we take a year or so to get it done, then we walk down the aisle and then we live together in some kind of forever type fantasy... See, thats always been my dream... But dreams do fade away... slowly but surely...
ReplyDeleteIm not sure if I'll ever do it... Im not stuck in my ways... or anything like that.. But I think I like my space, and if I cant have the whole package I dont think I want it,...
You better SAY THAT!
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I will NOT do is shack with someone who is not currently on their own. If it doesn't work out it's hard as hell to get rid of someone who cannot secure their own apartment, etc. (due to issues like bad credit).
ReplyDeleteIf they can, they'll bounce, but if not, there might be trouble.
I have a different view on this. While I understand people feel this helps avoid some relationship issues because you can "test" things out before hand. However, I feel too many men use shacking up as a way to get the marriage benefits without getting married. I've seen too many of my friends get caught up in this nonsense, still waiting to say I Do years later.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that what most little girls dream of? Hell, I'm damn 36 & past the whole Cinderella fantasy. I ain't birthing no mo' babies & prefer not be step-monster to anyone under 12.
ReplyDeleteIf by chance (and this point that chance it appears to be slim to none) I do marry, It'll be a desitination one, so save ya nickels & dimes.
Me and my guy have been together off and on for 11 years and we talked about it once... But he is a very personal and private person, where as I dont really care bout certain things... I mean, right now I have the kids with me off and on... He may be ok with that every now and then,, but if I stayed with him and the kids were over as much as they are now... booooooy would we have some problems... So, right now, it works,,, but i want more than this... i really do... I'll be 33 in december and I dont have any biological kids of my own, never been married... looks of it slim... so, its time to make some real hard decisions...
ReplyDeleteYup, that's it right there. When I left my ex, I lost everything that I "owned" because he was allowed to keep everything, whether I paid for it or not. I was not entitled to property because we weren't married. Ya know what the judge said?
ReplyDelete"That's what you get for shacking up."
The best lesson is a bought one. I always held on to the belief that it was wrong , well maybe not wrong, but that I didn't want to be living with a man without being married. The moment I did, it went horribly astray! LMBO
I say all this to say, when you are in a relationship vs being married, I think people tend to just opt out instead of working on the relationship.
Never shacked...and let me tell you...the transition from single to married was a doozy for me. He's easy to live with, actually...but I was so used to doing things my way, in my time, etc...etc... and I had to "learn" *ahem* to allow him do his husbandly duties instead olf still tryin to do everything myself.
ReplyDeleteOld habits die hard, I suppose...
The only benefit I would be forfeiting at this point (as I see & as my granny called it) is the widow's pension...gotta be legal for that one.
ReplyDelete*see that whole set in my ways thing surfacing?*
That's me too! On the other hand, I'm so ready to give up "wearing the pants" I can taste it.
ReplyDeleteI lived with my ex-fiance for 4 years before we broke up. He also was pretty easy to live with, but afterwards, I still declared that I would not live with another man without the benefit of marriage. Now that I've been living alone for 11 years and becoming more and more ambivalent about marriage... especially since I ain't birthin' no babies, I may be open to co-habitation again. With the right man...
ReplyDeleteNope. Nope. Nope.
ReplyDeleteQuestion for you ladies (just to stir up some stank), why are you all afraid of commitment?
See... I would think its more men thats afraid of committment...
ReplyDeleteI'll have to read all the comments later, but I haven't and won't shack up. It's the whole "why buy the cow if the milk is free" thing.
ReplyDeleteWell, lemme clarify that. I may not believe in buying the cow, but tasting the milk first is a must! I refuse to spend the rest of my life with a jug of sour milk in my fridge...if you catch my drift.
I catch your crazy ass drift... lmaooooooooooo loud and clear... You gotta at least taste and make sure the milk is good... lmaoooo
ReplyDelete*passing Mike the spoon*
ReplyDeleteI'm not afraid at all. I just didn't want it until approx. 5 years ago (when I turned 30).
To quote my dear granny, "I still had a wild hair in my ass" & it was all about me. I guess it was just part of my process. I've been there, done that. I'm at a point where, for the right man (not just any man & not just one who's good in bed) we can do it the right way.
To quote you,
ReplyDelete"At this point in my life, I cannot see myself making a lifetime committment to someone I haven't shared space with. I'm way too set in my ways. "
I feel the seme way that you do sometimes. Sometimes opportunities come for being committed and that I am certain will turn into marriage. As a result, I do things intentionally to drive him away or I will run away. I feel somewhat claustrphobic when someone invades my space. But in many ways, my fear was a red flag to run. It sooooo paid off!!!
As for shacking, to each his own. Its better not to jump into something as deep as marriage with both feet if you're not certain. Each person should do what works best for him/her.
It takes a big little woman to deal with the whole shacking thing. It would probably make me loopy in the head.
...more loopy than I already am *lol*
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone in this group is especially afraid of commitment... I think we're all smart enough to know which side of the bed our bread is buttered on and while I cannot specifically for everybody, those of us who choose not to commit do so out of a desire not to be bogged down with somebody else's BULLSHIT.
ReplyDeletedamn straight! I am quite content with being single the rest of my life. A far cry from where I was a year ago.
ReplyDeleteYou better SAY THAT!
ReplyDeleteI'm not interested in committing for the sake of it. It's got to be real and right!
I'm not exactly CONTENT with it (In time I'll get there I suppose)... but I'm not willing to trade the peace of mind that I can create for myself for the chaos of subjugating to someone's will simply for his own satisfaction. No thank you... I've spent a rather long time paying to cost to be the boss.. and the boss I will always be.
ReplyDeleteI'm not *quite* content, but I've accepted the fact that it may just be my "meant to be".
ReplyDeleteyup, that too.
ReplyDeletecouldn't have said that better! Uhhhhh, you wanna write my 25 page thesis paper? LMBOOO
ReplyDeleteThat's my plan too!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteDang now that was simply not right!!!
ReplyDeleteI have no question it's a transition from being single to having someone with you all the time. In fact as much as I would like to be married, I'm starting to rethink that!!! LOL I've been on my own for so long, I'm set in my ways.
ReplyDeleteThe women I knew were not afraid of commitment. They were afraid of BEING ALONE. They settled for LIVING together, hoping eventually he would marry her.
ReplyDeleteTotally!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do when you're lactose intolerant???
ReplyDelete**HOWLING**
See... only you.... lmaooooooo
ReplyDelete*head nod*
ReplyDeleteI could have been in a relationship. If I had chosen those relationships I would be on the Express Train to BITTERVILLE!!! Pffftttt
I lived there once...sooooo not a nice place.
ReplyDeleteI'm jess sayin... Dairy products are not kind to my tender constitution.... LMAO
ReplyDeleteDo you mind if i borrow that... I loves me some milk and ice cream... but I think my old age is starting to affect me in that regard...
ReplyDeleteMe three
ReplyDeleteI'm comfortable being single, I accept and embrace it, but I make it no secret to Kesha when we talk it would be nice to be with someone, but she knows me well enough to know I simply WILL NOT accept just any kind of relationship. She knows my history, and she had to deal with a few of my "boo hoo or SCREW HIM" moments after a relationship.
Heck some of you even saw my blog about dude I met in Kroger a few weeks ago. Had I settled for that BS, express train to Bitterville.
I refuse to be like some of these women (and if this describes any of y'all my bad) who settle for the scraps. I've been there, done that, and I will NOT do that to myself again. I've been in Bitterville. I had to work hard to get the hell out, and I'm not going back. I like Happyville, I like Contentville.
Everyone else can have Bitterville, and Settleville, and BSville.
I already accepted I may never be married, and I'm okay with that. It's because I'm okay with that I'm not out here dealing with just any man to say "I gotta man". While this man doing her, and her, and her, and her too!!!
*wiping water off monitor*
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Silky!!!! ROFL
You heard of the "other" white meat? Well, I was referring to the "other" milk.
ReplyDelete*wink*
Yup, I can say that too. That whole defining oneself by whether or not you got a man is for the birds. Too much wasted energy thinking and obsessing about something that may or may not happen.
ReplyDeleteGirl... i quit drinking milk years ago and I aint fucking with that soy shit... (literally OR figuratively speaking **lips twisted**)
ReplyDeleteSoy Milk?
ReplyDelete*runs out of blog because I know that's NOT what she is talking about ROFL*
Ok, I was trying to keep it out the gutter, but DANG!!!!
ReplyDelete*screaming into the bullhorn*
THE SPEWING TUBESTEAK!!!!!!
*hitting the off button, laying the bullhorn on the desk, and sighing heavily*
See we are ------>here<------
ReplyDeleteSo many people I know all shocked I'm single and childless. Okay yeah I have no children and no man. Am I supposed to stay in the corner, lying in the fetal position sucking my thumb letting life pass me by?
I think NOT!!!
*holding up fist in the air*
Power to the single woman!!!
I'm starting a movement dang it. LOL
Gurrrl, we shoulda started that movement about 6 or so years ago! LMBOO Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to pieces and wouldn't trade her for anything but I was 30 when I had my daughter and people used to say the same thing about me. EXCEPT, I was soooooo stuck on the fact that I was manless and childless that I settled for Bullshit. And look where I am now, a struggling single mother living in a 3 room apartment trying to get her degree so we can have a better life. I sooooooo wish I felt this way 6 years ago, because I could have did without the struggle. But, I can definitely say, that whole experience has made me wiser about future decisions.
ReplyDelete*GIVING YOU THE PALM*
ReplyDeleteSee... men don't like to buy the cow to when they can get the milk for free. So why should a woman have to buy a whole pig to get a little bit of sausage?
We LIKE gutter!
ReplyDelete*wiping monitor again*
ReplyDeleteSis I'm going to have to ask you to stop it!!!!! ROFL!!!
emphasis on little sausage. I'm just saying. Some dudes be lying about their sausage, but that's a whole 'nother blog. ROFL!
It's called live and learn. I've come to realize life is one big lesson. Some of us learn, and the rest of us keep messing up.
ReplyDeleteIt seems girls are programmed from birth, you meet someone, you marry, you have babies, and you will be happy. BS!!! However, some of us learn it's BS after the fact.
*thinking*
ReplyDeleteWhat about average or better than average sausage?
Lawd! LOL!
ReplyDelete*throwing holy water at you*
Hold on...I'd better keep some for myself...
There are far worse things than being manless and childless.
ReplyDeleteSociety acts like women who have no man or no children have some sort of affliction. Motherhood is NOT for everyone. Wifedom is not for everyone. I know to my soul that I am possessed of the necessary skills to make some man an EXCELLENT wife, to make him happy beyond his wildest dreams, and what's more is that I can abide unwaveringly in the knowledge that there is a man (not some figment of my imagination but a real live flesh and blood man) who believes that I am the woman he could be most happy with (even though we fucked up our relationship beyond repair)...
I am NOT damaged goods. My value is immeasurable and I don't need to validate it with a husband or a baby. (and in saying that I do not devalue any one in this group who may be married, with or without children).
Put it like this... pay the premium for the good sausage and take THAT.
ReplyDeleteBuy the whole pig... you got to deal with them chitlins too.
I dont like gutter... Im a good wholesome girl....lol
ReplyDeleteDamn... the tube steak is over here too... lmao
ReplyDeleteMan, and was I ever treated that way! LMBOOO Countless times, men would say to me I can't believe you don't have a man and no children. Women your age at least has two. And the implication behind it was always, something must be wrong with you. NOT! It ain't me. I just didn't deal with bullshit until I met the master bullshitter. LMBOOOO He was and still is the master of manipulation. The red flags that I didn't realize were red flags until waaaaaaaaay after the fact. My feeling like there was something wrong with me because I was manless and childless kept me from reading the red flags.
ReplyDeleteIm just wondering what goes on in that mind of yours sometimes... Does it stop to take a rest... lmao
ReplyDeleteNEVER
ReplyDeleteSistahgurl I'm about to turn 40, and when people act that way towards me I let them know THEY are the ones with the problem. Not me!!! Then I keep it moving. I get the questions all the time "what's wrong with you that you don't have a man or children." Oh and when men ask me that question I ask them the question right the hell back. "You are single, no kids, so what the hell is wrong with YOU!!!" Or if they are single with MULTIPLE baby mommas oh trust when I'm finished tearing into their asses, they wish they had kept on walking.
ReplyDeleteYou know it is soooooooo funny you mention the men with no children. Those are the ones who have the BIGGEST issues. For example, I met this man, he is 39 with no children, never been married and I really did like him. But then I discovered why. He is lazy with no ambition. He spends his weekends in the bed watching tv, he makes about 12 bucks an hour and has no desire at that age to do something that would enable him to get a better job. Not so much as applying for a new job that pays more money. The job he has now he does nothing but sit on his butt as a security supervisor for a retirement home. If any job comes up that would require him to really work, he is taking a pass on it. I can't get past him being satisfied with constantly struggling financially and not doing anything to better his situation besides waiting a year for a second job for him to be a bouncer at a club that hasn't opened yet. My desire to be with him quickly dispersed.
ReplyDeleteI'd have to agree... the ones who are quickly approaching 40 and have never been married and don't have children are the worst... no matter which end of the spectrum they fall on.
ReplyDeletePeople look at me crazy when I say that. I love my boy dearly AND would lay down my life for him. I carried him for 9 months & he is mine. However, I would NEVER tell him such, but if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't, and that's the honest to God truth.
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is not for me. It's the hand I was dealt & I played it to the best of my ability.
Another reason why I'd prefer a mate who has no, grown or damn near grown children.
You did the right thing! You can't help save a brother who doesn't want to be saved.
ReplyDeleteHrumph now see I simply don't understand why some people simply want to wallow in mediocrity? Okay I feel a blog coming on here. LOL
ReplyDeleteEverybody but people like you look like you're crazy when you say that. I never intended on having ANY children but due to a bizarre set of circumstances, I had my daughter when the most appropriate time in my life presented itself to do so. I had the prudence to have my tubes tied when she was three. that was the smartest move I think I made in my adult life.
ReplyDeleteBUT: My decision to do so unwittingly would ultimately lose me the great love of my life (his greatest dream is to have his own biological children with his wife and I am neither able nor WILLING to start over again after 15 years...) As to the rest... I've been through too much other BS with men and their delicate psyches to try to sugarcoat who and what I am and therefore I accept that my journey is one I make solo. I'm not happy about it... but the risk for me is simply no longer worth what marginal reward I may or may not receive in return.
can I ask if it was just the experience of not being solo anymore... missing out on some things you could have done if you didnt have a kid.... single parenting.. or what? dont mean to pry so much... but I've heard that before... and not that it baffles me, but i just like to understand ....if that makes any sense
ReplyDeleteActually it's easy enough. Some people are simply satisfied with what they have.
ReplyDeletel don't necessary believe that my life is some great epic work either (I've not climbed Everest or cured cancer... ), but guess what!!! that's okay!! That doesn't mean that I can't find some measure of happiness. What is "GREATNESS" anyway? I think a lot of people frankly are way too high on their own supply... and don't realize that their ass stinks just like the rest.
I can't answer for Mo... our experiences are different - my was-band is my baby-daddy.... and I never expected to have to raise her by myself... but raising children alone when you dont have a lot of support or resources is a tough row to hoe...
ReplyDeleteThat to me is like one of the hardest decision one can make... its one thing to kinda coast through thinking that might be the case... But when you've finally set in on the fact that 'this is what it is', then even in its saddest state, you're not fooling yourself... I wont even entertain the notion that its an easy thing... but I respect you for being honest with yourself and us...
ReplyDeleteNo I don't mean with regards to experiences. It seems the guy Sistahgurl was talking about struggles financially. If there is a chance to make more money to now struggle why is it some people won't choose that option because it means more "work"?
ReplyDeleteThe lowest common denominator is that he is COMFORTABLE where he is. The effort (doing more work to get more money) for him, is simply not worth the reward. I know someone else that struggles financially, and I wonder why he doesn't make better choices... but he thinks he is doing just fine and is comfortable in the position he has created for himself. See what I'm talking about?
ReplyDeleteYes I see, but I still can't help but wonder are they really comfortable or simply settled for it? I ask that because I've known people like that. They say they are comfortable, but not really. If people truly are then I'm not mad at them at all.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is fine if he is happy and satisfied with that, but I ain't getting dragged into constant financial struggling. If I have to work harder for more money, then that is what I will do. For me, I have a strong work ethic, I am going to earn my money and work my ass off for it if necessary. Meaning, if more money means more work, then I am going to do the more work. When people complain about money and their inability to make ends meet, I find it incomprehensible when they lack ambition. I just can't wrap my brain around such thinking. I can struggle by myself, I don't need someone else who is struggling too. But I will say, I would date someone who is struggling temporarily because they are also working toward something better. But to struggle endlessly? Miss me on that one.
ReplyDeleteDo you realize that's the same question other ppl ask themselves when they hear women say they are content in their singlehood?
ReplyDeleteI say that to say that there comes a point where you can't worry about trying to identify other people's motivation for how they live their own lives and accept that they have reasons, whether said reasons make sense to us or NOT.
I think for the guy in question, he settled for it. Long time ago, he got accepted into the police academy and two days before he was suppose to start, he was in a bad car accident that left him with a permanent back injury. Meanwhile, his brother went on and is now a Lieutenant for the same department. I think his pick up and go picked up and left. I would tell him about other law enforcement jobs that were hiring and weren't as physically demanding, he would say he would look into, but he never did. If you can't get past what happened in the past, then you will stay living in the past on coulda, woulda, shoulda. Believe me, I know first hand about that.
ReplyDeleteisn't it somewhere in the Bible that speaks about wealth (paraphrasing)... we're suppose to be the lenders and not the borrowers.... well when I hear that, it makes me wonder how can we have borrowerers if we're all lenders... who would we lend too... And if every man or woman is to be married, then how are you have widows, divorcee's, nun's, priests... I dont think it was ordained that every man or woman is to be married... And I dont know the census stats on men vs women ratio....But population among, lets just say black folks, is out numbered by women... men aren't as readily available as some would have us to believe.... Now, none of what i just stated is factual (expert wise) and this is all my opinion... But how wrong can it be to be single in the 2000's... Does people really base your worth off of having a litter of babies... and a man at home... Years changed and so did the times...
ReplyDeleteI think im rambling on again... lawd ham and cheese...
Red, you are not prying. I don't mind sharing this. That's what the Sister Circle is for.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I had a great support system. The bio would beg, borrow and/or steal for the boy child for the 1st 3 years. He became very jealous of me & my desires for something greater.
I didn't miss a whole lot because my mother didn't work & my grandparents were retired. I basically had God-sent childcare at my fingertips.
There are a lot of things that make me feel the way I do: Single parenting topping the list. I have to honest with you, I've always been a semi-selfish person. This goes back to when I was 3 years old. I went from happy (too damn boy crazy) teenager to a mother in a matter of months. I can't even say 9 months because I was in denial for 4 of them.
I never got a chance to just be me - without the worry of this child for whom I was responsible. (If that makes sense.) I went from sharing a room with my sister (she went to live with our gramps) to sharing a room with my baby.
Even tho he's damn near grown, he's my child & I worry. He's given me the blues.
After my mother died, I learned from her cousin that she never worried about me but constantly stressed over my sister (the reason her hair turned grey). That kinda hurt my feelings, but once I really thought about, it made me feel good to know that my mother didn't worry because she knew I had my shit together. I'll be glad when the day comes I feel the same about my boy.
Since Red is prying, I am gonna pry as well. LOL
ReplyDeleteHow did the father go from taking care of him for the first 3 years to not helping at all? Or am I assuming that, but I thought I read that somewheresssss in your blogs.
point taken ;-)
ReplyDeleteUmmm hmmmm
ReplyDeleteI understand now. He was not able to do what he "dreamed" of doing, and did not want to look into something else. In life sometimes you have to have that plan B.
Lemme clarify, 15 years ago. He should have BEEN on plan B. LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is what I kind of thought...
ReplyDeleteSometimes I look at my sisters and their situations and I know Im blessed... But then again they look at me and wonder why I dont have it all together... My older sis had her first at 18, just around grad time... She has 3 now... 20, 16 and 15... and their all good kids, no trouble and keeping busy with things... And I kid you not, I damn near sacraficed a lot of my own life to help her out with the kids along with my mom... And if you asked her today about how much help she got, she'll say not much... But better not say it in front of me... May have to deck her one... And then lil sis, now 24 decided she wanted to get pregnant 7 years ago... And I blame my mom and dad for spoiling the shit out of her, because she is just now trying to get out of the habit of saying gimmie gimmie gimmie...
But one of the sad realities that I've had to face and in terms of my guy is that he's always says he's waiting for me to let go of my family a lil bit... Because I did honestly devote a shit load of time to those kids... and I love em to death... and most times I would put them first over him... not purposely... But I hate it with a passion when a man walks out on his kids... And not that I wanted to play daddy or any shit like that... But i think it kind of became my mission to keep them preoccupied and being that other person that they needed when my sister or mom were to busy or tired to run here or run there...
And amaziningly I am just now, maybe all of a year or so ago, really begining to just be me and do what I wanna do... thats kinda sad at 32 that I decide to really live, but better late than never.... Thats kinda why Im also not really sure that I wanna have kids of my own... i dont wanna do the lonely mommy thing... Im sure that I can, but why do I have to walk journey alone, knowingly... And my lil chicka is sometimes more than I can handle... Sometimes it seems that being single and free is the way to be... But then I sit and think and look at my grandmother sometimes... She is by herself most of the time... she gives me her grandmotherly wisdom and comfort in saying that shes happy... But do I wanna be a 70+ woman all alone... im not sure that I do... But do I wanna settle for John down the street cuz he's the next best thing... too many options, to many choices, to many things to make you sit sometimes and just cry...
Please excuse my ramble sessions...
Red do NOT feel that way. Age is simply a number these days. There are people way older then both of us changing careers, going to college to get their FIRST DEGREE even. Hell I'm about to turn 40 and want to return to college for my second Bachelor's in nursing. It's never too late to "discover" who you are, what you want to do, etc.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it isn't. I waited till I was 33 to finish my degree and answer my calling to be in law enforcement. If nothing else, look at other people's experience as a lesson to be learned.
ReplyDeleteGood for you!! If anything you can be an inspiration to others who question "is it too late?"
ReplyDeleteSome people go their whole lives never having really lived, or loved, or realized their potential... THAT'S what really sad.
ReplyDeleteRoom temperature check:
ReplyDeleteHow the hecksssssssss did we go from shacking up to the current topic at hand? LMBOOOO
Yeah... and I dont wanna be one of those...32 years is sad enough.... But Im learning...
ReplyDeleteIn frank discussion about how some people stay in relationships in spite of the knowledge that they are unequally yoked be it spiritually, morally or financially... and the observations of those who know how to make tracks on a nigga....
ReplyDeleteWhat does that mean if you're 2 out of 3....
ReplyDeleteIf you know that going in... or after having stayed in and contemplating marrying that mofo anyway, then you my sweet baby sis are sliding down a double edged razorblade and bout to fall into an alcohol river.
ReplyDeleteIm gone hit you with something... Im a hopeful sonofa something... I like believing that things can get better.... I know sometimes that cant be a realistic way to look at things... But that idea has somewhat kept me from slipping back to a point that I used to be... Do i ignore a few things, Yes... Do I play along for the greater good, Sometimes... Do I want it to be this way.... NOPE.. not at all... But in my head I still feel that things can and will change... and if I let go of that... Good clawd van damn,,, where would I be...
ReplyDeleteIt all started when we broke up & I moved on. I was in college, got my 1st lil gov gig & was making a whole $1.00 an hour more than him. He won't admit it, but my uncle (who I turned to for man-advice) said he was jealous. It started with stupid shit like buying Pampers (because I made more money than he did) and was just downhill from there. He was from my ruffneck phase & sadly at damn near 40, he's still there.
ReplyDeleteNow he has always been in his life & did his "babysitting" from time to time, but not like (I think) he should've.
Paddling along next to me on the River of Despair, I imagine...
ReplyDeleteYou should know by now that blogs in the Sister Circle have a tendency to go in all different directions before it's over. :o)
ReplyDeleteAint that something when it seems like they can take the kid for a lil bit...but not long enough to count for anything...
ReplyDeleteSad but true. I put "babysitting" in quotes because that's what the hell he said. I was like DUDE, you don't babysit YOUR seed!!
ReplyDeleteMy son ADORED, do you hear me ADORED his daddy. This ninja had the nerve to think he was "blocking" when he wouldn't take him. Negro please, I have 4 babysitters whenever I need them. The boy wanted to be with him.
Its unfortunate, but I think if they learn at all will be in their latter years... Sometimes I think you can do better by yourself and everyone around if you just put the bullshit aside and help the woman... You cant have her anymore, but why not just be right and move on.... See, there I go in this fairy tale shit again... One would think I've lived a seriously sheltered life... Nawww... Just stayed away most people and the benefits that come with them...
ReplyDeleteWell, if it gets to that point... then make sure when we reach shore you find us enough materials for make some sturdy hammocks... cuz once I make that conscious mindset and realize that this hope thing was all a myth, then theres no going back.... And make sure you bring a monopoly game or something...
ReplyDeleteAwwww, looks like I missed an interesting convo!
ReplyDelete