Child Support Drama

One of my cybersistas is going thru it right now, so I figured I'd dig up my 360 post on the subject...just for S&Gs (Red, that's shits & giggles).

Blog I - December 2006

Since I think my little shopping sprees may have gotten outta hand, I figured I needed log on & pay some bills & possibly juggle some funds.

I log onto my banking website & pull up my checking account & see the following:

Electronic Deposit Fam Supp Pay Cen

$15.59

10 years ago, I would've been fussing & cussing about that amount of alleged child support. Hell, my boy eats more than $15.00 worth of groceries a day.

Keep in mind I can't even remember the last time I received a child support payment, oh wait it was about 2 years ago & was for $23 & some change. However, I gave up that battle over a decade ago. As you can see it wasn't worth my time, energy or blood pressure. I figured I got myself into the situation, so I just need to do what's necessary to work it out...and with the help of Mama, Muda & Papa & by the Grace of God, I did.

To all of the dead beat moms & dads, Happy Freakin' Holidays!

Blog II - January 2007

The Deadbeat got a Job..... and health insurance!!!

 

Today, I received a letter from the Missouri Dept. of Social Service-Family Support Division. I haven't heard anything from the department since I got that whopping payment of $15.59!  I gave up the money battle with the donor over a decade ago. Sometimes, you just have to know when to say fuck it & move on.

 

Mind you, I barely communicate with the donor because I refuse to put up with anybody's bullshit, especially his.

 

Way back when, he was ordered to pay support & also ordered to maintain health insurance. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. I didn't trip, I made sure my child stayed covered under my health plan.

 

The mail I received today, indicated that "Child is enrolled in NCP (non-custodial parent) medical insurance". Well I'll be damned!! He not only found gainful employment & didn't bother to tell me, he found employment with benefits! I just might take the chance & drop the boy from my plan. If I do, it will save me almost $200 a month in premium! Wow....

Oh, by the way, the boy was only covered for a few months & I had to pick him back up and am still covering him to this day.

I was His Mistress....

and then he died!

 

Catchy title, huh? I think it makes for an interesting discussion.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say you are/were a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover of a married person & this person dies. For the sake of this discussion, let's also say this person maintained a home elsewhere & at the time of passing, the two of you were not cohabitating aka shacking up.

As the outside lover, do you feel you have the right to attend and/or mourn at the wake/funeral/memorial/burial service? What if you had children with the deceased?

I would hope to not put myself in that situation, but stranger things have happened. If I was the secret lover, I would keep my distance. If I was truly in love with the man, I would avoid the funeral. I know I wouldn't be able to contain my emotions. As for any children, they unfortunately have to suffer for the choices we made. I would probably grieve with them at the burial site....way after the fact. I would try not to cross paths with the family...at all cost.

On the flip side, if you are the widow/widower, how do you think you'd react if a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover (and possible children) came to pay their respects to your dearly departed spouse?

As long as I didn't know who she was, I can't really say. She could slip in & out and no one is none the wiser. If I did know who she was, I would hope she wouldn't invade my family's space & grieving process. If she did, I couldn't guarantee her safety. If there were minor children involved & I knew of them I would ask for the strength to extend the olive branch, for the sake of the youngsters. If the children are older, I don't think I'd have a problem with their presence as long as they acted accordingly.

Before you say, "Well I would never....", keep in mind people lie all the time & sometimes innocents get caught up unintentionally.

Even if you haven't been in such a situation, I still want to hear from you.

The Day Mommy Went to Jail

 

 

My Mama was heavy on my mind this morning, so I'm gonna share an old 360 blog about her.

*Sounds like a damn LifeTime TV movie OR the title of a Ghetto Berenstain Bears Book, doesn't it?"*

As most of you know, I grew up in Carr Square Village (aka the north projects) & lived there until I was about 27 years old. As a result, I'm no stranger to crime, drugs - users & dealers, niccas running amok, ghetto fabulousness, teen pregnancy, BeBe's kids, rats, roaches & the occasional stray cat...just to name a few.

Even though I did all I could to keep a low profile my family was no stranger to the drama that goes with ghetto life. My own family called me bourgeois, saying I got it from Muda, but that's another blog for another day.

My mother was a drama queen of sorts, but she didn't take any shit off of anyone. I could write a book about that alone.

"Skip" (my baby sister's (RIP) father ) is an alcoholic (more drama). He was a good dad, when he was sober. So anyway, he left the house one day with my sister, who was barely 2 & riding in a stroller, headed for the corner store. Shortly afterwards our neighbor came & told my mother that Skip was at the store & had gotten drunk. He said he tried to bring my sister home, but Skip wouldn't let him. Keep in mind my mother & "Angel" (my 14 year old younger sister) were very high strung, reactionary people. My mother was pissed & Angel was ready to do battle. They left headed for the store.

My mother came back shortly after with the baby, but Angel wasn't with her. She told me what went down. She argued with Skip & took the baby. He was clowning and acting a fool so my sister knocked him to the ground, he yelled out & she ran. Come to find out, when she pushed him, she sliced his arm open!! They called for help, but my mother headed home before help arrived.

About 20 minutes after she made it home, a police cruiser pulled up in the parking lot. Remember this was the projects & police at any given time was not unusual. I jokingly said, "Mama they're coming for you." Her reply was "Shiiiiiiiiit, I didn't cut that bastard. Angel did." We laughed it off.

Sure as the day is long, the cops came over to our porch to question my mother about the altercation. Skip & his witnesses (another bunch of drunkards) said my mother was the one who cut him! My mother denied it, but she didn't rat out my sister. The cops cuffed her & took her downtown!! I didn't know what the hell to do.

I called my mother's best friend & my grandpa. Papa didn't drive after dark so he told me to find out how much we needed to get her out & take a taxicab to come & get the money. My mom's friend and her husband came to the house. I told them what happened & they got on the phone. They eventually were told that we wouldn't need any money & that my mother would be released shortly.

We waited at the house for my mother to call but she never did. Her friends left to go to the station & when they got there she was gone. Before they made it back, my mother was coming thru the door, with smoke coming out of her ears. I asked her why she didn't call & she said, "I didn't want to pee down there, eat down there, or use the damn phone! I just wanted to get the hell outta there, so I walked!" We only lived a few miles from the downtown station.

We talked & shortly after her friends came back. We found out that Skip did realize it was Angel who shanked him, but he told the police my mother did it because he thought she told my sister to do it. Lawd, now this nicca got my mama ordering hits! Ain't that a bitch?!

It was an ordeal that will never be forgotten & my mother, God rest her soul, never let my sister forget that she went to jail for her.

There is something to be said about a mother's love..........

PS STL People - my mama was in The Evening Whirl....under the "Why" heading....