I was His Mistress....

and then he died!

 

Catchy title, huh? I think it makes for an interesting discussion.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say you are/were a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover of a married person & this person dies. For the sake of this discussion, let's also say this person maintained a home elsewhere & at the time of passing, the two of you were not cohabitating aka shacking up.

As the outside lover, do you feel you have the right to attend and/or mourn at the wake/funeral/memorial/burial service? What if you had children with the deceased?

I would hope to not put myself in that situation, but stranger things have happened. If I was the secret lover, I would keep my distance. If I was truly in love with the man, I would avoid the funeral. I know I wouldn't be able to contain my emotions. As for any children, they unfortunately have to suffer for the choices we made. I would probably grieve with them at the burial site....way after the fact. I would try not to cross paths with the family...at all cost.

On the flip side, if you are the widow/widower, how do you think you'd react if a secret (or maybe not so secret) lover (and possible children) came to pay their respects to your dearly departed spouse?

As long as I didn't know who she was, I can't really say. She could slip in & out and no one is none the wiser. If I did know who she was, I would hope she wouldn't invade my family's space & grieving process. If she did, I couldn't guarantee her safety. If there were minor children involved & I knew of them I would ask for the strength to extend the olive branch, for the sake of the youngsters. If the children are older, I don't think I'd have a problem with their presence as long as they acted accordingly.

Before you say, "Well I would never....", keep in mind people lie all the time & sometimes innocents get caught up unintentionally.

Even if you haven't been in such a situation, I still want to hear from you.

Mine vs. Ours

A huge pet peeve of mine is when family & friends assume what's mine is theirs. Mind you, these are the very ones who never, ever have anything to offer anyone else, because they're always in dire straits, usually the result of foolish choices.

This shit burns me up!

Just because I keep my lil Chevy running, am I suppose to chauffeur you everywhere you need/want go? Hell no! When I didn't own a car, public transportation was good enough for me so it's damn sure good enough for you!

Just because I have some extra space in my basement, am I suppose to allow you to store your shit here indefinitely, so you can run in & out at the most inopportune times, inconveniencing me just because you need or that? Hell no! That's what public storage is for!

Just because I make more than minimum wage & manage to keep a few $$ in my pocket, am I suppose to loan you money every time I get paid because you chose to get your hair/nails done over paying your electric bill? Hell no! Get a job...or 2 if necessary! Better yet, that $10 you asked me for, just take it out of that $20 I never got back.

Just because you can't maintain a cell phone contract, am I suppose to add you to my plan? Hell no! Pay as you go, dawg! Pay as you muthafuckin' go!

Just because I don't have small children, does that mean I wanna babysit your kids on my days off? Hell no! Everyone is entitled to one oops. Any who come after that, you wanted, so deal with it! I choose not to be bothered. The last time I checked that was my prerogative.

I swear to you, I really do love my family & friends, I just don't like them very much at times.

Am I selfish? Maybe I am. I've been sharing all my life & sometimes I just don't want to!

Brown, Black, Indian, Latino, Skin Care Tips, Skin Care Advice

http://brownskin.net/

The Day Mommy Went to Jail

 

 

My Mama was heavy on my mind this morning, so I'm gonna share an old 360 blog about her.

*Sounds like a damn LifeTime TV movie OR the title of a Ghetto Berenstain Bears Book, doesn't it?"*

As most of you know, I grew up in Carr Square Village (aka the north projects) & lived there until I was about 27 years old. As a result, I'm no stranger to crime, drugs - users & dealers, niccas running amok, ghetto fabulousness, teen pregnancy, BeBe's kids, rats, roaches & the occasional stray cat...just to name a few.

Even though I did all I could to keep a low profile my family was no stranger to the drama that goes with ghetto life. My own family called me bourgeois, saying I got it from Muda, but that's another blog for another day.

My mother was a drama queen of sorts, but she didn't take any shit off of anyone. I could write a book about that alone.

"Skip" (my baby sister's (RIP) father ) is an alcoholic (more drama). He was a good dad, when he was sober. So anyway, he left the house one day with my sister, who was barely 2 & riding in a stroller, headed for the corner store. Shortly afterwards our neighbor came & told my mother that Skip was at the store & had gotten drunk. He said he tried to bring my sister home, but Skip wouldn't let him. Keep in mind my mother & "Angel" (my 14 year old younger sister) were very high strung, reactionary people. My mother was pissed & Angel was ready to do battle. They left headed for the store.

My mother came back shortly after with the baby, but Angel wasn't with her. She told me what went down. She argued with Skip & took the baby. He was clowning and acting a fool so my sister knocked him to the ground, he yelled out & she ran. Come to find out, when she pushed him, she sliced his arm open!! They called for help, but my mother headed home before help arrived.

About 20 minutes after she made it home, a police cruiser pulled up in the parking lot. Remember this was the projects & police at any given time was not unusual. I jokingly said, "Mama they're coming for you." Her reply was "Shiiiiiiiiit, I didn't cut that bastard. Angel did." We laughed it off.

Sure as the day is long, the cops came over to our porch to question my mother about the altercation. Skip & his witnesses (another bunch of drunkards) said my mother was the one who cut him! My mother denied it, but she didn't rat out my sister. The cops cuffed her & took her downtown!! I didn't know what the hell to do.

I called my mother's best friend & my grandpa. Papa didn't drive after dark so he told me to find out how much we needed to get her out & take a taxicab to come & get the money. My mom's friend and her husband came to the house. I told them what happened & they got on the phone. They eventually were told that we wouldn't need any money & that my mother would be released shortly.

We waited at the house for my mother to call but she never did. Her friends left to go to the station & when they got there she was gone. Before they made it back, my mother was coming thru the door, with smoke coming out of her ears. I asked her why she didn't call & she said, "I didn't want to pee down there, eat down there, or use the damn phone! I just wanted to get the hell outta there, so I walked!" We only lived a few miles from the downtown station.

We talked & shortly after her friends came back. We found out that Skip did realize it was Angel who shanked him, but he told the police my mother did it because he thought she told my sister to do it. Lawd, now this nicca got my mama ordering hits! Ain't that a bitch?!

It was an ordeal that will never be forgotten & my mother, God rest her soul, never let my sister forget that she went to jail for her.

There is something to be said about a mother's love..........

PS STL People - my mama was in The Evening Whirl....under the "Why" heading....

 

"Crazy Sayings"

What are some of the craziest sayings you heard as a child and maybe even an adult, which you now may or may not quite understand?

For example, when we used to get into trouble with my granny she would say stuff like: 

"I'm gonna whip your ass `til it ropes like okra."   I still don't know how okra ropes….do you??

Or, "I'm gonna be on you like white on rice."  This one I understood & knew it was ass whipping time.

One of my grandpa's favorites was, "There's more than one way to skin a cat."  Did he not know the vision of a cat being skinned could be quite traumatic for a young child???

My mama used to say she would beat the "cowboy shit or the dogsled shit" outta us.   

My mama and uncle used to also say, "it's colder than whore's heart" or "it's colder than a well-diggers ass in Montana" when the weather dropped below freezing. I don't where my mama got the Montana thing from since she only set foot in Missouri & Illinois......

My Birthday

Start:	May 3, '08 12:00a
End:	May 3, '08 11:45p

The day I graced the world with my presence.

Peter Pan Ad

One of my fav commercials from way back,...I never forgot the lyrics. LOL