Normally, I try not to sweat the small stuff, but there are some things that just chap my ass, like:
- Muthafuckas who thump lit cigarettes/butts from moving vehicles. Damn! The least you could do is put that shit out in your car before thumping it out. Hell, you smoked it in your car didn't you?
- Dumb asses who call your phone with that "Did somebody call here?" bullshit. Negro/bitch please. Ain't nobody looking for your raggedy ass. If I wanted you, I would've left a message.
- Folks who walk in my cubicle & eyeball my monitors (I have 2). Get outta my damn business!
- Muthafuckas who forward stupid ass/chain text messages. Stop it already! Some of us have to pay for that bullshit. Matter of fact, if you are not a Verizon customer keep all that to a minimum with me.
- Busted ass weaves - if you must weave it, weave it right.
- 4 year olds in Pampers! Come on now, if he/she can form complete sentences it's time (unless, of course the child has special needs).
- Menstrual Cramps - After 25 years this shit still makes me sick. I think there needs to be an expiration date.....way before age 50....may 30-35.
- Folks who dog out other folks for any number of things & turn around & do the exact same.
- Pants that shrink in the wash. I bought tall & I expect them to stay that way. Is that too much for long-legged sista to ask?!
- DirecTv going out when it rains! That's when I wanna be inside chilling with the remote.
Whew! Thanks for listening y'all and as always feel free to comment & share.
I know #1 peeves you to no end. And I'll be a big girl and admit that I do it, cause pretty much the only time I'm burning one is when I'm behind the wheel. My vehicle does not HAVE AN ASHTRAY. What kind of bullshit is THAT?
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I'mma thank you for doing this blog cause I had this shit on my mind today.... You know what burns my ass - that I'm a damn crackhead. All week I have been trying to bring my can of peaches with me to eat for breakfast and without fail that can has been in the same place RIGHT near the door, because when I put the bag down to get my purse, I forget the peaches and go running like gangbusters out the door.
Now I'm HUNGRY!
You are too funny... lol
ReplyDeleteWOOOOSAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
ReplyDeleteTell us how you really feel ! LOL
I feel the same way about breastfeeding as you do about pampers. If you can walk to it or ask for it... Time for a sippy cup.
I have lots more... Give me a minute :)
the worst,,,is when I get the nakid fucking video texts, while Im in church... Well,,, maybe I shouldn't have my phone on during service.... But you just never know when God might be calling... lol
ReplyDeleteAll that horsepower & no ashtray?? Damn! LOL
ReplyDeleteIsn't that like the cheapest and simplest things on a car... shouldn't that just be manditory...
ReplyDelete*scratching head* lol
I saw a woman flick a cigarette out her window once in front of me and it fly right into her child carseat behind her.
ReplyDeleteYikes.
Girl, you betta preach! I cannot stand mofos who do this. I got one of those privacy screens and that about nipped it in the bud. My boss on occassion will comment that she can't see my screen and I'm like, ANNNNNDDDD?????!!?!?!?! lol
ReplyDeleteYou're in H.R., right? Shouldn't nobody be trying to rubber neck your screen!
I can't stand people that talk on their cell phones when out amongst other people... or should I say they yell like the other person on the other end of the line is 92 years old and deaf in both ears... and usually they're talking bout some shit that dont even deserve peak hour change... Oh... and the mofo's that love to cuss every 3 words really loud...
ReplyDeleteDoes that really work well... cuz I may go out and get one on my lunch break...
ReplyDeleteShole do...if you angle it JUST right, no one should be able to see what you're doing, unless they are sitting in your chair, directly in front of your screen. It's a wise investment with all the blogging you do!!! LMAOOOOO
ReplyDeleteIm actually trying to ween myself off... I do see where my work is lacking a bit... or a lotta bit... But just for those times when I need to check... i think that would make it much easier... Right now I've got my contrast setting to low...so at least at first glance..you cant see...
ReplyDeleteYEAH!!!! HOW ABOUT THAT??????
ReplyDeleteHaha! I did that contrast adjustment thing...it's better just to put the duckets down on the screen tho...
ReplyDeleteY'all already know number 1 is folks who drive 40 in the left lane. Also on the list are sistas who have all these wonderful outfits in their closet, but their child is wearing shoes too small. How about folks who have a $80,000 car and live in the damn projects? Should I keep going?
ReplyDeleteQueen..definitely #s 1, 2 & MOST DEFINITELY 8!!! Makes you just wanna punch, choke & rag-tag a mofo..LOL
ReplyDelete- People who take an hour to turn the damn corner in their cars
- Or those who dart out in your lane nearly cutting you off then want to drive slow so you have to jam your brakes
- Sistas who look directly at you but don't say anything. If you are going to look at least be polite and speak
- Bamma Kings & Queens...LOL
Women who put on their make-up on the train/bus - EVENTHOUGH I do it almost every single day *hangs head in shame* since I'm generally consistently at least an hour late *lol*
ReplyDeletetoddlers old enough to TALK walking around with a damn PACIFIER in their mouth. I just wanna snatch it out!
Seeing loogies on the sidewalk
Inconsiderate @$$ people (men, in particular) on the train not letting ladies (let alone and 8+ month preggo women *GRRRR*) SIT down...while they read the paper like they don't see they are getting hella mean-mugged for being a dickhead
loud-talkin, POTTY mouthed youngsters & jitterbugs on the train/bus cursing and being loud & ignant for no got-dayum reason
folks who do "Decide" to walk behind me so they can see waht's on my monitor...since i use a screen protector. Try to be slick...either that, or they tryna peep my cleavage
almost EVERYthing these days is a pet peeve...so my list could go on...
But aint that some shit... spending my own money to try and cheat the system... we otta be ashamed of ourselves....
ReplyDelete*secretly* looking up micro centers address...lol
What kind of car costs 80k? . And then my next question is, is he in street pharmaceutical sales? And my final question is,, does he need a girlfriend?... lmaoo. I'll get the wheels and cash em in... lol
ReplyDeleteIm just kidding... I think...lol
Speak on it! I've been a cusser for long as I can recall, but NEVER spoke like that in public, esp. around adults.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mbusa.com/models/main.do?modelCode=E63
ReplyDeleteLet me tell ya, I lived in the PJs for 27 years. You go inside some apartments & forget you were in the concrete jungle. Some people are just complacent. Paying $36 a month rent & a $700 car note somehow makes sense to them.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. That reminds me. Folks who pay $36 a month and are 15 months behind on the rent.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mo. *hug*
oOooOoH, I have some more...
ReplyDeletePeople who cannot park evenly between lines. Or who park all crooked next to you and look at you like YOU'RE crazy?
The ghetto ass mofos on my block that used to hang all over MY steps when the house on either side of me (I live in a rowhouse) was vacant... and we're not going to talk about the time some iggnant motherfucker splattered COLLARD greens all down the front of my vehicle...
Is it just me, or are they usually driving a Corolla, Accord, or some other half a car where you live too?
ReplyDeletethats a bad sum a nuffin... Well, I pulled out the good ole calculator... and ummmmm its gone take me a minute to save for it... Can I borrow a few dollars so I can put it on my new ride? I'll give it back...
ReplyDeleteThe day after whenever... lol
Silk, everytime I see I Collard I think about this!!! I know you were pissed to whole 'nother level of pissivity, but I have to LOL
ReplyDeleteNot all the time ... but since you brought up small cars....
ReplyDeleteI don't know what subhuman class of person you have to be to own a Toyota Prius but I swear them mofos are the WORST drivers in the world!
That whole episode was just SAD, mannnnn.
ReplyDeletelol... My dad says this all the time... and i thought he was the only who said that... I haven't talked to him since Christmas and he lives 10 minutes away.... and Im not even really sure why.... I think Im mad about some things and just dont know how to tell him.... Thinking now, that maybe it aint really that bad... probably should call him...
ReplyDeleteIm sorry, didn't mean to bring you guys down a notch or two...
THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE! If I don't recognize a number on my caller ID, I don't give a damn who it is. And if they don't leave a message, I feel like, hey, they obviously don't want shit, right?
ReplyDeleteDON'T BE CALLING ME BACK with that bullshit...."DID SOMEBODY CALL HERE?'
Uh, yeah motherfucka and guess what, I WILL CALL AGAIN TOO - CLICK!
People who see a number on their caller id and don't answer the phone strictly on the basis that they don't know the number... that BURNS MY FUCKING BISCUITS... cause it could be an emergency... I go down on my bike and some person from a hospital or some good samaritan is trying to let my fam know that I'm in a million pieces and your dumb ass won't answer the phone....
ReplyDeleteANSWER THE PHONE!
Note to self... always answer unknown callers... cuz silky could be stuck on the side of the road in dier need of some butter pecan ice cream... Yeah, I rather say that then say a 1000 pieces... But I know what you mean...
ReplyDeleteOoooooo, that's me! I hate to do that but my gimmeloanmelemmehave ass family has forced my hand. I stopped answering their calls (100% bullshit ALL the time) so they get slick & call from somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of number 1. Reason being, as crazy as it sounds, is that I can't stand the smell of an ashtray. Putting it out in your car leaves a smell. When I drove, my car never smelled like smoke cuz I always had aleast 2 windsows open and the cigarette got tossed. But I was a considerate tosser, I didn't toss when I would see a motorcycle rider and I didn't toss if we were in the middle of a drought, wasn't trying to start any forest fires.
ReplyDeleteBut number 9 gets me as well, I am tall to and can't stand wearing floods. Let's add to that list about shirts that shrink up as well. Nothing worse than looking like my clothes are too small. Like I couldn't afford a couple of extra inches of fabric. Speaking of which, why in the hell do they charge extra for tall sizes anyways? And better yet, why are most plus size tops made for short women? Are there that many short overweight women out there that a tall girl can't catch a break????
I just KNEW this would be good when I saw the first word! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteoooh weeee! GREAT IDEA! I have two 17 inch monitors! You can see my screens from the hallway! I will look into this!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI NEVER answer my cell phone if it's an unknown number. I expect if they know me, they will leave a message.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand to hear crazy azz ringtones in the office. That shit needs to be banned! Mandatory VIBRATE at work!
Then you'll be hearing all sorts of "other" noises as folks constantly call themselves.
ReplyDeleteMy #1 pet peeve is people driving while trying to talk on their cell phone (DESHANNA). It never fails, EVERY morning and EVERY evening traffic is backed up due to some ignant trying to drive with one hand while holding a cell to their ear with the other. On the way home JUST TONIGHT I was behind a truck zig zagging like the driver was bout to get a DUI. When I got up beside her at a light, ignant ass was on her cell phone. And yes I do glare into the car until I make eye contact and say "GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE ASS". It's just habit now. I can't control it anymore.
ReplyDeleteOk, you got me on that one! LMAOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteI second that emotion! UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
ReplyDeleteThat shyt just makes my ass drip hot coffee. I'm trying to get to work or home after a long day and got some ignant in front of me who doesn't know which lane they want to drive in or can't hit their signal CAUSE THEY'RE ON THE PHONE. DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I get road rage. LOL
*looking for Dave Chappelle's diarrhea song clip*
ReplyDeleteWhat if my lil hooptie is leaking fuel?? You just sent me to meet my maker. *shocked*
ReplyDeleteMy beef with the fashion industry could go on forever. I'm a long-limbed chic - arms & legs, so I feel ya pain. They seem to think all plus size women are 5'5' and under. NOT!
ReplyDeleteAww damn! LMAO
ReplyDelete#1 - Figures! #2 - I can't find my phone 99% of the time so you won't have to mean mugg me! LMAO
ReplyDelete