This is something that also chaps my ass - bad ass kids with the best money can buy. Why?!?!
Help me understand why Man-Man can fail all his classes & cuss the teacher out, but he's wearing the latest, most expensive gear & has a video game set up that would bring a tear to Sony's eye. Help me understand why Kee-Kee won't get up off her lazy ass, sweep the floor, take out the trash or wash a dish, but she goes to the salon for pampering like clockwork, as if she has a damn job. These things are a priviledge, not a damn birthright. These lil fuckers have gotten over like a fat rat!
With the exception of having too much mouth & being way too sassy (I've got memories of the split lips to prove it), I was a pretty good kid. I certainly didn't have everything I wanted, but now that I am grown, I realize I did have everything I needed.
I used to be envious of kids who had 'things' (like Jordache jeans & Colecovision to name a couple), I didn't when I knew damn well I was more deserving than they were. Just didn't seem fair. I now know that my mother was taking care of us using her widow's pension & my grandparent's were also retired & not even trying to hear about spending that kind of money on material things.
As the old folks say, we live and we learn & they ain't never lied.
I promised myself that if I ever had kids (and I did way too soon), I'd go to the end of the Earth to provide him/her with some of the things he/she wanted, providing he/she was deserving,
Those who know me, know my boy had a different idea. I, in turn, let the punishment fit the crime. The last video game system I purchased was a Sega Genesis (trust that I still play me some Sonic on ocassion).
He was about 12 the last time he had a birthday party, the last time he saw his name on a box under the tree & the last time he traveled for anything other than a funeral.
Tennis shoes that costs more than one of my utility bills were definitely out of the question. He did get lucky a few times tho when I found a BOGO 1/2 off sale & I could cop a pair also. I've even gone so far as to prepare a steak & shrimp dinner (one of his favs) and not offer him a bite. It's Top Ramen or Chef Boyardee for you son.
The law states I have to provide adequate food, clothing & shelter. It says nothing about spending my hard earned dollar on the latest & greatest for an ingrate. He didn't do what he I required of him, so I only did what the law required of me.
Most of my friends say I'm a mean-ass moma & was too harsh. Damn that. I work too hard to give my money to an undeserving anybody....especially one I gave birth too.
As always, the floor is open.
Well, I will say that My Momma spoiled me to a degree with the latest stuff...but best believe it was EARNED. Another thing, I knew how to take care of my clothes, so some of the oldest clothes I had, you'd swear I just got em'. That most I could say about most of the kids my age. We had clothes to play in and clothes to look good in. But I was a good kid, too. So....yeah. Anyway, you do what you do for your kids. If they think they can do better, let THEM raise the kids and we'll see.
ReplyDeleteHmm... some parents feel like throwing everything at their kids helps them fit in and adjust better psychologically. I don't subscribe to that particular school of thought. Alex was spoiled to a certain extent but trust when she started getting flippant with me or fuckin up in school the first thing that went was all her little "amenities"...
ReplyDeleteMy mother gave us what was required and when she could provide more she did. I spoil my niece. Anything my sister can't get my niece, I buy it for her. HOWEVER, she has to keep the grades up, and I hear no bad reports about her by anyone!!! She acts up, she can Auntie Please until she is blue in the face. She will NOT get it. I agree with you Mo 100%. Kids these days act entitled to things, they don't earn them like they should, like I used to!!!
ReplyDeletewell, I was a bit spoiled as a teenager (but not a kid), but I think it was because of the fact I never got in trouble at home or school since I turned 13. That was the year I had brain surgery and after the surgery it was like I just grew up and started acting right. I know though that if I had ever gotten in trouble, I wouldn't have been spoiled anymore. I do remember a few times when my folks would spoil me but not my lil brother and he'd complain. They'd point out to him that I had all A's on my report card or something to that effect so I knew back them that part of my "good life" from my folks was dependent on my grades, which made me work harder in school, etc.
ReplyDeleteI grew up watching this with my next door neighbor who just happened to be my best friend....
ReplyDeleteGrowing up in the late 70's -early 80's...My best friend had whateva was that was "in style" at the time...But not only did he have it...He had it in excess!!!!!!!
For ex. If we was lucky enough to have a pr of Jordache Jeans both him & his sister had like 4 or 5 pair apiece
All of the video games back in the day...Atari, Coleco Vision, Intellivison, Vectrex...And all of the game cartriges....
Sheepskin Coats, Leather Bombers, and all of the footwear...Adidas, Pumas, Pony's, etc
Lee Jeans with matching Le Tigre shirts in every color, Dookie Rope Chains with Big Name Plates...Everything!!!!
Then it got ova' the top when we formed our lil' Break Dancing Group..."Chiba Disco"
We had Break Dancer's, Rappers, & Singers...All we didn't have was a D.J.
So his parents went out & bought him a full set Techniques D.J. equipment...(2) turntables, mixer, receiver, amps, & (4) huge ass house speakers....Mind' you he had no kinda D.J. expierence...smdh
The reason I said all of this is bcuz these kidz neva finished high school....His sister has like (6) kidz now who are sorry as hell...
And my best friend is still living at home with his mother at 43yrs old & his mother is still buying him clothes....smh
DON'T RAISE SORRY ASS KIDZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVEN IF THEY DESERVE IT...DON'T BUY THEM EVERYTHING & REQUIRE THEM TO GET A PT. TIME JOB TO LEARN SOME RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was never a spoiled child. I didn't have everything I wanted and I still got my ass whooped if I got out of line
ReplyDeleteSo I really dont understand parents who continue to buy cellphones, Jordans etc for bad azz kids. Why reward a child who is out of line, surely they dont think that will help them to get in line. That only sends the sign that I can act a damn fool and still get what I want
I think in terms of this... Im glad I dont have any kids of my own... I'll buy the lil mama some clothes and toys, but i never get crazy with it... But my neices and nephews... Goodness thats a whole nother story.. Granted they are good kids and dont really get in trouble, besides the occasional back talk which could sometimes be followed by a back slap... not from me of course... But my sis let them get so accustomed to the gym shoes, the name brand jeans and the Ipods and all that other stuff they want... And she kills herself trying to work to get it... Hell, by the time they grow and go off to college she gone be to damn tired to live... lol My mom will go out and buy them clothes and gym shoes.. But I dont ever do it... cuz they are too damn expensive... I can take the baby and my nephew to Walmart and rack up with a 100 bucks where as the bigger kids will only get 2 pieces... But we sometimes use the things they want as a reward system...if their doing good in school and doing what they need to... then yeah, you can have it within reason... But the idea of them deserving it hell no...
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid... I think all I asked mom for was those 500 to 1000 piece puzzles and books... lol I was a lil nerd back then... But she made it clear, that she would do what we needed and IF she had extra then she would do more for us like getting the things we wanted... But we knew she worked hard so we didnt bug her about all that extra stuff...
Long story short... Beat Ray Ray's ass for doing the dumb shit he does... not give him a new playstation..
LOL @ Red
ReplyDeleteI think that's part of the problem....Whipping Ass...Is rapidly becoming a thing of the past...Especially doing it in public...
I remember when I was in 3rd grade & I was fucking up in school...My mother came up to the school the principal let her know what time it was and said does she need a "moment" to discuss things with me & left out of his office, she pulled out her belt & proceeded to wear my ass out right their in school....
Try some shyt like that now, and see where you'll wind up.....J-A-I-L
You are SO on point with a blog that I've been working on sista girl (GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE)! I don't think that parents need to be on a "bread and water" basis with their children, but I DO think that they need to prepare them for "LIFE" by showing them that they will not get everything they want nor will everything go their way!!! If you do that kind of treatment at HOME (rewarding them for things that they should be PUNISHED for) then how do you think they're going to see it when they try to do the same thing with people out in the REAL WORLD?!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat really ticks me off is that I, unlike my mother & grandparents, am in a position to do a few above and beyond things and that damn boy still acts a fool. It's sad when other people tell your child how good they have it and how much better it could get AND they still do see it. I made promises that were contingent upon a few things and had every intention on keeping them....no matter what I had to do to make it happen. I was just that hell-bent on rewarding the deserving. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI had my 1st apartment before I had a color TV (and that was only because my granny bought it).
When I would get into trouble, I would try my best to keep it quiet, because my mama, uncle & grandparents would be on my ass like white on rice!
ReplyDeleteThese damn kids get into trouble in the street or school, run home, tell their ghetto ass mamas & she wants to fight the teachers or other authority figure, about that lil unruly ass. Damn shame......
Exactly! I love my boy and he is a good kid but when he messes up, he gets nothing. I have also told him that the day he starts EXPECTING to get "stuff" is the last day he gets a damn thing. I will not tolerate greed or entitlement. I don't owe you a damn thing. The Staple Singers said it best:
ReplyDelete"If you're walking 'round think'n that the world owes you something cause
you're here you goin' out the world backwards like you did when you first come here."
My man's kids' momma is like that...the youngest consistently fails in college but has cell phones, new car, etc. blows my damn MIND!
I think (rather I know) I only had one whooping in my life... I was 11 or 12 and my momma found a note that a boy wrote to me in school... and it had some references in it about doing what nature calls... I think that boy was dumb as hell though... But I brought that whoopin on myself... I remember being in my mom's bedroom and reading it... I didnt know she was home... But I heard her coming, she was calling me, and I didnt wanna get caught with the letter so i shoved it between her mattress... thinking I would get it out as soon as she walks away... She had me doing something and I forgot all about it... Come 2 days later...My mom was changing her sheets and what does she find... Yup...my lil love letter from a boy wanting to do some thangs to me... OH HELL NO... not under my momma's watch... It was 10pm and Im up getting my assed whoop... She didnt ask questions and talk until the next day... I think she wanted to make sure I got the point first... And oh hell yeah, I got it... Probably why my ass didnt even try to talk to boys again til my senior year... lol But yeah,,, wasnt no reward coming from that... 20 years later... I still feel the scars... lol
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!!! omg i hate that i did a blog on my nieces n their kids them sum bad lil fuckers but always got this or that name across they ass dont let u buy their kids sum off brand shit they will catch an attitude quick like wtf i jus dont get it. maybe cause my mom beat my ass the few times i showed it. i really only remember 1 whoopin n thas cause she woke my ass up wit it.....i had forged her sig on a letter i was supposed to give her from my music teacher she lit my ass up and i missed out on a birthday party that weekend 4 a friend of mine. my mama neva played when it came to us n out behavior
ReplyDeleteIts gotta be hard for school teacher these days... Cuz I see some kids just in passing on the street and I wanna knock em the fuck out... Hell, they dont care whose around and cussing like it aint no tomorrow... My 14 yr old neice.... was at my house one day on the phone talking to one her friends... and I walked by and she said "... I dont care bout that nigga"... First off... I dont even use the word, second... even tho we cool like friends and all, but you will respect me... And I just dont want her making that apart of her daily vocab... I know kids gone be one way when around family and another when around friends... But one thing I can NOT stand and thats a kid being disrespectful of adults and elders... Cuz once they lose sight of that importance then hell, aint much you can do with them after that...
ReplyDeleteLOL...Just (1) Ass Whooping???
ReplyDeleteHell in my prime I was averaging at least 3-4 a week....I wasn't a bad child or disrespectful at all....My thing was i'd do shyt I know had I asked my mother would have said NO...So I did it anyway w/o asking so if I did have to wear an Ass-Whooping lata it would not be a really severe beat-down of out-right defiance...LOL
Naw dude... me and whoopins didnt mix... I remember my dad tried to whoop me once when I was about 10... but I dont even count that, cuz he did more threatening with the belt and then when he hit me on the butt with it (one whack) it didnt even hurt... I think he was upset that I didnt cry,,, but it didnt hurt... and he didnt wanna whoop me anyway...lol
ReplyDeleteBut baby sis... oh goodness... that heffa go a whoopin averaging one a week... Once she took her ass to school (11 yrs old) and lied to the teacher and said my mom had died... Tiff was a compulsive liar... Boy when my mom found out... She went up to the school and beat her ass in front of the class... I guess that proved to be a resurrected ass whoopin... I still love fucking with her about that to this day... lol
1?!?! I can count the times my mother whipped me, because it was rare. My grandparents - countless ass whippings with switches from the peach trees in the backyard.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was the one who was always slapping me in the mouth...and rightfully so. I was always flipping off about something, even after she told me to shut the hell up.
Overall, I was a good kid, always got good grades, just a lil too boy crazy.
Aint much changed huh... lol
ReplyDeleteYou know I had to throw that one in there...
Funny about that TV thing... I remember my mother wanted to buy a me TV for my room and my grandparents said NOT NO, BUT HEYULL NO... she was pissed to hell and gone, so was I but my raise said "she lives HERE in THIS house and WE make the rules about what she has in her room" (it was bad enough that my mom and her sisters spoiled me with designer jeans when my grands bought me clothes from thrift stores - and they didn't have to, they were just CHEAP! I remember the flap that ensued the year one of the aunts bought me a bottle of Opium, I think I was in the seventh grade and that stuff was over $100 an ounce.)
ReplyDelete(AND i WAS A GOOD KID, WITH STRAIGHT A'S!)
I am spoiled rotten. My parents fulfilled my wants when I deserved it, and kicked my ass when I deserved that too. Just like you do.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I was that spoiled, but to hear my older brothers and sisters say it I was. But I don't see how because we were poor, and I didn't really want or ask for a lot of stuff as a child. Plus I was a well behaved straight A student (which only one of my other brothers could say lol). I think they say that because of food really lol. I was(and despite my girth still am) a very finnicky eater sometimes my mother would make stuff especially for me because she knew I didn't eat what everyone else ate, and apparently that was completely outlandish to my brothers and sisters lol(oh, did I mention that I am #10 out of 11 children, that may put more perspective on it lol)
ReplyDeletesee I say the same about my sister!!! LOL She is the baby, and I'm the oldest. I feel she was spoiled!!! I love her, but heffa!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteMy middle sister was 14 when our mama had our baby sister, so I know she was spoiled (by my mother & grandfather). That's probably why I kicked her ass on the regular, knowing damn well I was gonna get it for doing so, but I did it anyway.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
ReplyDeleteNaw, just Top Ramen & Kool-Aid! Haha
ReplyDeletechicken flavored noodles and Red koolaid with a lot of sugar.... and we got a deal...lol
ReplyDeleteMy co-worker spolls her kids like that. They have any and everything. She says she wants them to have what she didn't have, and ok, I can understand that. HOWEVER, if you are failing classes, and having to go to summer school every year (and we have to pay down here .. almost like paying junior college classes in some school systems), you are going to miss out on SOMETHING. I was spoiled, but please believe, I had my share of whoopings and punishments. I only went to summer school ONCE and that was to GET AHEAD, not to catch up. Some of the things these kids say and do, I couldn't even IMAGINE even THINKING it with me mom. My mom was a single parent, but I was also raised by my great great grandmother, my great grandmother mother, my grandmother, and my two great aunts. ("The Mothers", I call them) I was pretty much kept in check. LOL
ReplyDeleteThis conversation kinda reminds me of rich kids who commit crimes cuz they need a thrill. Kids today get bored very quickly cuz they have too much.
ReplyDeleteAnd that ain't nothing but the truth!
ReplyDelete