Let's take into consideration relationships started via the net.
Ladies, you know what you like right? OK, let say, like yours truly, you prefer not to date short men.
You encounter a guy on-line and you hit it off. You like everything you know about him. He seems like good dating potential. You exchange photos & such and because of your height hang-up, you ask how tall he is. He replies with, "5 foot 8." You're OK with that because you're only 5'4" yourself. You finally meet homeboy (you're wearing flats) and face to face you two are eye to eye....in fact, he may be a tad bit shorter. Bottom line - either he's sadly mistaken about his height or he's just a plain ole liar.
Since you have such a great connection otherwise & his personality is awesome, do you overlook the shortcoming (pun intended) and let it flow? Or do you say good night & vow to never see him again?
Fellas same scenario - fine woman, impeccable dresser, no kids, professional sister with her own everything, but she suffers from noassatall and/or looks like a 12 year-old boy in a tank top. Do you say to hell with it & go with the flow or do you keep it moving on the next one who can satisfy your T&A cravings?
Again, I ask you, when does personality actually reign?
Hmmm, interesting question. How are the hips and thighs?
ReplyDeleteI'on like this question!
ReplyDeleteGood question.....Funny thing is I was dating someone not too long ago who was a tad bit shorter than I am..not very obvious but yes it was visible to an extent and the only reason why it was so prominent was b/c I have long legs ALTHOUGH I am only 5"7 But his personality, his accomplishments and the fact that we had so much in common did it for me. We were compatible on many diff levels and so it didn't bother me that I may have been a bit taller than he was. So in my case yes personality did reign. :-) Long ago though I would have said HELL NAH....LOL
ReplyDeleteFor the sake of the argument, let's say they're OK.
ReplyDeleteIn that case, I'd give her a shot. As long as she has 2 out of the four (breasts, ass, hips and thighs, or BAHT for short, or would BATH be better lol) I'm ok
ReplyDeleteBut furthermore, this issue is more to the point of why they lied rather than how they look for me. I mean I have my preferences but aside from being amy Winehouse or Paris Hilton stupid skinny, there aren't a whole lot of generic physical features that are instant deal breakers for me. but if you felt the need to say you had badunk when you barely have chunk, then that may send off red flags
Personality is a big factor for me, I have to be physically attracted to them, but how they carry themselves and how they treat me goes much further. (If they look like Flav, all bets are off though)
ReplyDeleteThis just gives us rope to hang our judgemental, stereotypical, shallow hats on...lol
ReplyDeleteBut in all seriousness, I have dealt with guys that were less than my standard preferences due to other characterisitcs that attracted me to them. I try not to slim my pickin's too much by being so shallow, but there are some things I just cannot overlook. In order to be "happy" I have to be attracted to them physically to some degree. Sometimes their personality or other characteristics can MAKE them more physically attractive (somehow).
I don't think it makes them more physically attractive but that their personality is such that it doesn't matter as much.
ReplyDeleteActually, in some cases I think it does make them more physically attractive, usually because if the personality is inticing, it causes you to look at them more and notice things about them that you may not have noticed on initial looks because since you weren't that attracted you didn't really pay attention.
ReplyDeleteWelll... it can go a coupla different ways...
ReplyDeleteYou could have a person who is your physical ideal... you were tinkering around in the garage circa "Weird Science" but out of the fog walked Boris Kodjoe/Denzel/name your hunk of choice here. But he opens his mouth and sounds like Flav... or has the personality of a blonde oak 2x6.
Me personally - I like guys who are a nice mix.. there's something there that's physically redeeming (I dig short dudes - meaning from 5'6 - 5'10") AND he's got a great personality. And lawrd today if he's got a masterful use of the Queen's English AND can communicate well in a written medium??? That's the one that's stirrin it like muhfukkin coffee!!
Personality is a big factor for me because after the lovin is over, I still want someone mature enough to handle the physical relationship/friendship. It sucks to be screwing a guy that acts like an asshole.
ReplyDeleteFor me, BOTH have to be in tact. I don't care what ANYBODY says- YOU (not anyone else) have to be ATTRACTED to a person to be involved with them. Now, SOME people's PERSONALITY make them more "attractive" to you {s(he) may not be Mr(s). FINE, but s(he)'s "alright", down to earth and has a great sense of humor}.
ReplyDeleteFor me, there has to be SOME type of PHYSICAL attraction going on, or NOTHING'S GOING ON. *smile* However, he doesn't have to be "super fine" to catch my eye. I'm more attracted to a person's "vibe" and personality than I am the physical, but I could take a GOOD TEETH, WELL GROOMED, DREADLOCK WEARING (they do something to me now) MAN with a great personality ANY day!
It depends on how far off the description is. Is it just someone who misjudged themselves or someone who out and out lied about their appearance? I'll always take personality over physical features. But if I have been shown pictures of their baby cousin from 10 years ago looking like Common and they show up looking like Flav's granddaddy, I'mma be mad.
ReplyDeleteI think you are both right. I put "(somehow)" because I thought about what Dee said while writing that, but then thought that isn't always the case, but sometimes it is. There are times I've actually found a person physically attractive after getting to know them better. It's a bit of what Bigdaddy (gosh that seems funny typing...anyway) said. I never noticed how clear brown his eyes were, how smooth his skin was, how unbuckled his head is...lol...true story! I guess it's a matter of appreciation. You tend to appreciate attributes on a smaller scale than those that are overtly attractive.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you need an example, let's take my overwhelming attraction for Carrot Top!! :-) Even pre-steriod usage!
ReplyDeleteCTFU, you KNOW I thought of it!
ReplyDeletePersonality is the prevailing factor. When it came to dating prospects, I never actually had a "type" – I dated all kinds, big, small, tall, short, thin, chunky..LOL!
ReplyDeleteWhenever these discussions arise I always mention how I met my hubby. We met sight unseen thru a mutual friend (this was pre-internet/email explosion) so all we had was the telephone connection and a truly old fashioned courthip of writing letters and sending cards. I saw his pic but it wasn’t reliable because he had lost a great deal of weight after the photo was taken. We hit it off instantly, and he hadn’t a clue what I looked like other than what I described. We even said the "I love yous"before we laid actual physical eyes on one another. But my point is, we had an acknowledged attraction based on personality alone – also common interests, goals and values had to do with the connection.
When we met in person it wasn't fireworks from my end, and I've recently admitted that to him (actually, my MOM is the one that ratted me out...thanks mom!!!! grrrrrr!!!). It wasn't that I didn't like the way he looked, he just didn't meet my expectation or imagination of how I'd pictured him... Weird. It just took some time matching the voice to the face. Thankfully, I'm not ugly so I know he was pleased!! LOL
I chalk that up to a deep-rooted mental impairment! HAHA
ReplyDeleteWOWWWWWWWWWW LOL
ReplyDeleteWe've accepted you despite that fact, lol. At least though you don't have a thing for Flav...
ReplyDeleteGOOD GOD NO!!! I don't truly think there is ANYTHING that would make me attracted to that dude. He is uglier than he looks BECAUSE of his undesireable personality.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit Monni, as of late, I am questioning my OWN mental status as a result of some of the retarded choices I've made! LMAO It takes others around me to tell me "Noooo, you aren't crazy/retarded/mentally challenged/swamp water" or anything else I tend to call myself when I do something stupid.
However, Carrot Top is NOT a stupid choice :p
Now see...it's that type of judgemental "wow"ing that I'm talking about!! LMAO
ReplyDeleteYou may look at that comment, Big D, and think "Damn, if she'll give Carrot Top a shot, who DOESN'T have a chance?!" Well, despite this thought, there is a screening process...lol...HE PASSED! Whereas others you may have thought WOULD pass, did not.
Like who, prêt ell? Just curious(thinking that if you like Carrot Top someone like me would not be your type LOL)
ReplyDelete**tappin mic** Is this thing on **clearing throat**
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with short dudes? I was watching Millionaire Matchmaker last night and there were a RACK of chicks that said they didn't deal with short men...
Not a darn thing. I used to date short to average men a lot. Short men would always catch my fancy....seeing as though we were right at eye level...LOL...I'm sorry shorties, couldn't resist.
ReplyDeleteBut I find nothing wrong with the vertically challenged. Shoot I'm merely three apples high my damn self.
You would be passing up on some really nice ppl if only focused on those particulars.
A man that's between 5'8" and 5'10" is PERFECT kissing height.. MmmMmMMmmMm
ReplyDeleteYou, my dear, are HUMAN!
ReplyDeleteI'm 5'8" and I consider my height & under short for men. 5'10" - 6'2" is my preference. I just don't prefer short men. Not that I would pass on that simple fact alone. My ex was about 2 inches shorter than me. It bothered me more than him, but I eventually got over it. I hate to tower over my mate.
ReplyDeleteNow if we talking a about bro with Jermaine Dupri or Spike Lee bank, that muhfucka could be Gary Coleman's height! LOL I'm sure his personality will shine thru.
He can always stand on his wallet huh LOL
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOL!! ain't THAT the truf!
ReplyDeleteThis was also my first thought. Did he lie? If he lied, then we could go no further.
ReplyDeleteOk, why did this scenario happen to me almost EXACTLY! He told me he was 5'5. I'm only 5'2, but in FLATS I was slightly taller!
ReplyDeleteBut you know what, because he had so many other great qualities, I was able to overlook the height thing. I was attracted to the man, not the height.
Hi-Five!
ReplyDeleteI am only 5'0". So pretty much anyone is taller than me. I don't have a height requirement but if I can see the top of his head, that's a turn off.
ReplyDeleteBingo! I'd hate to be the first to clue him in on his male pattern baldness.
ReplyDeleteNot a good look! lol
ReplyDeleteIf someone has to lie to get you to meet them then that pretty much tells you what their personality is. I don't have tolerance for liars. I see one thing wrong with the description that was given I'm out. Don't mind too much about the height. I'm real cool with a guy who is 5'6" and I'm 5'10"
ReplyDeleteI"m always willing to overlook the physical features (provided that I'm slightly attracted) if her personality is fantastic! So I say yes personality can reign if theres a little to go on (per your described woman) but the personality needs to be way above average. I think I speak for most of the fellas by stating that... No matter how much of a good personality she has its not going to work if she looks like a F#$kin SEA DONKEY! Sorry, men are visual creatures.
ReplyDeleteYippee! Someone shorter than me!
ReplyDeleteNow don't get me wrong, if we had never talked I would not have found him attractive. But I had gotten to know the person, so it was ok. =)
No need for apologies bro. Say what you feel.
ReplyDeleteLMAO @ SEA DONKEY!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I am glad that I am not the only one who feels that way. LOL
ReplyDeleteThe booty friends that I have had were because that was the only way we were compatible. I didn't want no more/no less from them. LOL
ReplyDeleteI want a person to be honest with me, because I am going to be honest with them. I can understand maybe being off a little bit (hey, we all look at ourselves differently then others may perceive us,) but if you are RIDICULOUSLY OFF (i.e. you said you were 6'2, light skinned, and kinda built, but in person you were 5'8, blue black, and sloppy fat **this has happenned to me**) then I am going to be really leery of you and may not want to be bothered. I mean, Im not a supermodel, but I have NEVER lied about myself, why did you lie? DID YOU THINK THAT I WOULDN'T NOTICE?? That's just crazy. I can't see your personality for the abundance of lies. However, I do believe a great & compatible personality is a big must!
In the end, I prayed for someone who was attractive in my eyes, who thought I was attractive in their eyes, loved God, was good to me, compatible, and wanted to accomplish life goals together. And at the moment, that's what I got! :)
Awww that is so boojie boo boo.
ReplyDeleteI guess the world's only 2 Carrot Top Lovers have found each other! LMAO
ReplyDelete