Have you ever reached a point where you think you need to put it, it meaning your sex, on the shelf for minute?
If you have, what was your reason(s) for doing so, if I may be so nosey?
Me, myself, personally have done it twice in my lifetime. The 1st time I abstained was after giving birth. 16 & pregnant ain't no joke! At that point, sex scared me & I wanted no part of it. I was too afraid of ending up with yet another mouth to fed. I abstained for 12+ months after the birth of my son, and was still a little leery when I finally got back into the swing of things. Leery so much so, that I barely slept at night until I saw Aunt Flo. Keep in mind I was on the pill {and had been since I gave birth} & condoms were used. Might sound crazy for me to worry, I know, but I was on edge.
The 2nd time I put it on the shelf was after the demise of a long-term relationship. I cheated on him once after I busted him for cheating on me. I tried to forgive & forget, but it was a lost cause. We both spent too much time & energy on something that was doomed from the start.
When we finally called it quits, I was going thru a lot of other stuff at the time & just needed to focus on me & mine, without some man nipping at my heels.
I promised myself that I'd abstain for 6 months, but it turned into 2 loooooooooooong years! Now, before you put me on a pedestal 
I've never gone as long as you have, but sure, there have been times when I had to put it on ice, just to recenter myself... I was out there sport-fucking for a long time and after a while your passion becomes diluted. So you take some time off and then you jump back into the saddle again!
ReplyDeleteI've had to do it a few times for more personal growth type reasons which only lasted about a couple weeks or so... lmao.. But the longest was just over 2 years... I've been with my guy off and on for 11 years come this august.. And before him I only had 1 other sexual partner... But a few years ago, me and my guy broke up for a lil bit... He went off to do his thing... but I couldnt bring myself to seek anyone at that time... and Im not into random booty calls... So I kinda just took a break from it... Well now it looks like we're back together,,, well sort of, well I guess we're kickin it again, but its cool... Now if it doesnt work out this time... Im running to the convent to put on my long armoured robe never to think of sex again.... OK,,, I just lied right there...lol
ReplyDeleteI'm not so sure if I qualify for putting it on the shelf, but mine has never left the package. I have never had sex before as a personal choice. Of course it makes relationships difficult for me but I believe that if someone loves me enough that he will respect that. I am turning 30 in two months and have not for a moment regretted that decision. Of couse I have those days where I just wanna throw it at the first man that passes by, but I always consider the long term effects of it and change my mind. Indeed, it does take a strong woman to obstain and I applaude you all and give myself a BIG ol pat on the back ...two times *lol*
ReplyDeleteYes I have. It was to help me focus on myself and things that were more important. I have gone a year here or there.
ReplyDeleteTWO YEARS?!?! GEESH!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, last year I was real picky with it almost to the point of non-existance. I just wanted to stay away from frivolous sex.
This year, I ain't giving a ----, I'm just out for mine cuz I'm tired of trying to do the right thing. I'm on another kinda time right now, don't mind me, this too shall pass and I'll be back on celibacy row. I just have some things to get out of my system.
The longest I've abstained is four years. I've also gone two years. I'd rather be in a long-term relationship than just sleep around. But then sometimes, you have to do what you have to do.
ReplyDeleteThe longest I've abstained was 2 1/2 years, for personal reasons. I have really slowed my roll down in the last couple of years. I just don't have the emotional energy to spend on something trivial, so I stay to myself and keep plenty of batteries for B.O.B.
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