I ran into my ex & his wife at Home Depot a little while ago & for some reason I remembered it was his {murdered} brother's birthday. We exchanged a few pleasantries and went on about our business. I never knew his brother because his was killed before I met the ex, but I knew of him.
I also remembered they have a nephew who shares a birthday with the decedent. Getting to the point of the story - one year at this kid's party, I saw something I'd never seen before - a birthday cake with the kid's name & pic and the decedent's name and pic with R.I.P. *scratching head*
I had never seen such a thing in all my days. I'm all for honoring the memory of your loved ones, but why do at a party for a 6 year old? *scratching head*
Is this a black thing & my 1/8 Irish ass just don't understand?
Note: I wish I had a pic, but I didn't have a camera since it wasn't my family & this was before the camera phone was standard.
Ugh ... that's kind of sad to me. I think that if they continue doing that kind of thing with the cake and focusing on a deceased family member on that child's birthday that he's going to grow up with some emotional baggage. If the fam is so intent on rememebring the deceased, then they should do it on memorial day, not when they should be celebrating a life ands what they have gained by having that life. No loss should be the focus on a day that is meant to honor a single person. He's going to remember that. Every moment in a child's life is significant and that will affect his teenage years and his adulthood.
ReplyDeleteExactly! I loved my daddy dearly & his birthday wasn't far from my son's but I would've never made my son share his birthday festivities with my dead daddy. That's taking it a tad bit far....in my opinion of course.
ReplyDeleteLord knows I know the pain of losing a loved one to murder, but still. My mother's birthday isn't far from my nieces, but I'm not gonna make them share their cake & spotlight with her.
Ummm, weird!
ReplyDeleteBlack folk will forever be a mystery to me... that's really sad....
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm in the minority as far as not finding this that apalling. I've not seen this but if I were to see it, I'd find it more curious but not in a bad way. We all honor, celebrate & memorialize in different ways.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there's a really interesting story behind why this family chooses to memorialize in the way they do. It's really no more "shocking" than the way folks choose to celebrate given dates, IMO.
I am very appalled! My cousin's funeral was on the same day as my Mother's birthday, but I would never use it as a way to "share rememberence" of my cousin. I would hope they don't do that every birthday. Maybe that was a special "milestone" birthday (30th, 40th, etc) and they just celebrated it like that.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand that or RIP tshirts. But maybe I am the one who is weird!
ReplyDeleteWell the decedent was young man (early 20s I think) & was killed senselessly. I certainly don't discount the grieving process, but I don't understand why a young child be forced to share their special day with deceased adult. I could even understand if it was a twin or another sibling, but an uncle? I never said anything to my ex because even tho several years had passed his emotions were still raw.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't, but even if it was & if it was that important (as one would believe) I would think it warranted it's own celebration, separate from the kid's party.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin (who was 27 I think) was killed in a car wreck a few years ago & the youngins in my family went buckwild with the shirts. *eyeroll* I swore to God if I saw anybody over 25 with those shirts on I was gonna slap them to sleep.
ReplyDeleteOh thats mine baby!
ReplyDelete****HOWLING****
Hmmm...maybe they feel the same day one was taken from them they were blessed to have another born?
ReplyDeleteI'm really weird about birthdays being special days and it fostering a sense of entitlement to kids anyway.......makes me real popular to other parents and my daughter who's about to turn 18 soon.
And I still don't see any more mental scarring occuring than taking a child to a funeral in the first place.
I guess it's all relative.
I'm real curious now to the reasoning.........are you sure you can't inquire in a roundabout to ol' dude or his family members?
...just playing.....unless you're gonna do it.
I'm the type who wouldn't even want a T-shirt talking about R.I.P. to someone. Wow that's very strange to do that on a kid's birthday cake. It's definitely not "my" thing!
ReplyDeleteI don't think so. This was the 1st time I'd seen him in 5 years (since our breakup).
ReplyDeleteHere's to hoping someone who did or would do this chimes in.
Well, like the tshirt, wristband, hat thing......I think it's an attempt at keeping memory alive and letting someone never be forgotten. I will definitely have to ask around my circle to see if anyone has heard of such.
ReplyDeleteLet's us know what you hear back.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I can tell the t-shirts, etc. are usually centered around younger people, and is pretty much the norm for urban youth,
I was at the grocery story yesterday (Sat) and I saw agirl in a jacket. A nice warm black jacket with a pic and RIP on the back of it. She was not a kid. whta kind of respect is that?
ReplyDelete