No, I'm not dating a rapist, but I am listening to our local station and there's a segment similar to Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letter (I forget what they call it) and here's the gist of today's letter:
Big Sis & Lil Sis are sisters and best friends. Big Sis recently met and started dating a man who had served a 13 year sentence for rape. Apparently, when Big Sis introduced this man to her family, Lil Sis took one look at him and fainted - the new man in in Big Sis's life is the man who brutally raped Lil Sis. Big sister didn't realize at the time, but she now knows this and doesn't want to stop seeing this man, as she has developed feelings for him.
Lil Sis was only 12 when this happened and cannot bear children because of the physical damage he did. She also cannot live alone due to other issues stemming from this traumatic event.
If these sisters were your loved ones, what advice would you give?
Family first, sorry. He's gotta go.
ReplyDeleteWhat Dee said.
ReplyDeleteI'd ask "big sis" to think about if it were HER this man had raped and her SISTER were the one considering staying with him (being CONSTANTLY REMINDED of what he did to her everytime she saw them)... then I would tell her to make her decision accordingly. Hopefully it won't be a hard decision.
ReplyDeleteWELL, Ms. Mo, the one who had JUST found out that her man is the same dude who raped her sister would DEFINITELY get CUSSED out by EVERYBODY in my family, my mother and EVERY other female would beat the CRAP out of her, and EVERYBODY in the family would disown her.
ReplyDeleteOh hell no!!! Relationship OVER!!! Hell the relationship would NEVER begin in the first place. While I understand people make mistakes, some things I will not overlook. Nope he would have to go.
ReplyDeletethen my family would beat this fool down!!!
PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH, Sista TNP, PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteRelationship over, Him "FIXED", me in jail for "fixing" him if that was my sister.
ReplyDeleteDeveloped feeling can go away. I mean how about she put herself in her sisters place. How would SHE have felt if her sister wanted to keep dating someone who raped her or abused her? She would be PISSED.
ReplyDeleteHow does a woman choose a man over family especially in this case? Is she that hard up for a man? Kick him to the curb and move on!!! There should be no hesitation.
No one comes between my family..I can not under this Blog..and never will.
ReplyDelete7 brothers and sisters, always there for eachother to this day..
rape is horrible enough as is but ta have the man involved in your day 2 day life is like taunting you i dont understand hos the big sis could possibly stay wit em im wit tnp she got ova feelings with past lovers she can get over this fool
ReplyDeleteSee had this been ME when my sister revealed who he was, he would have gotten the butt whopping he did NOT get when he first raped my sister!!! Nothing but a blur and me trying to gauge out his eyes, and leave him blind and without his penis.
ReplyDeleteAs I am still listening, Big Sis wants Lil Sis to forgive him & move on.
ReplyDeleteDo you think it's coincidence he happened to meet & fall in love with his victim's sister??
the hell? Kind of nonsense is that? She has to live for the rest of her life knowing she was raped by this man, and Big sister so hard up.......
ReplyDeleteOkay well then sister would have to catch a beat down too!!!
Yeah that's it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, but I'm thinking nope!!!
ReplyDeleteaint that sum shit....ion think so if it is its quity a big coincidence
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't big sis realize how painful this is for her younger sister?
ReplyDeleteSELFISH is what she is.
n id help...das sum bull big sis needs sum sense beat in2 her
ReplyDeleteFor real because that makes no damn sense at all!!! NONE!!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way Big Sis sounds she has been manless for a long time. Buy a toy and get over it!!!!
right....shit i pray big sis has no kids cause lawd knows what hed do to em
ReplyDeleteExactly!!! but I can't help but wonder how does the rest of the family feel? I know my mother would beat my butt, and I'm GROWN.
ReplyDeletehell yea....this wouldnt even b the topicof the letter n e more....it would b my daddy is in jail 4 killin ma boyfriend who i continued to date afta i found out he raped my lil sis...oh n im writing this letter from a hospital bed cause they kicked my fuck ass
ReplyDeleteHow in the hell did she not realize that this mofo is the mofo that raped her sister? And what kind of ignorant bitch would EVER even consider a man that had been convicted of rape when a victim was in her immediate family? This hits home for me... this is like me dating the mofo that raped my daughter cause I didn't RECOGNIZE him... fuck the bullshit...
ReplyDelete*storming off*
Manless... brainless... senseless....
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you something. My own mother was a homeless crack fiend for a while and even SHE told me not to fuck with convicts... that ought to tell you something right there.
MsMo girl I'm glad I did not hear this show!!!! Because I would have been, whoooooooo.
ReplyDeletewell to me that would seem like a no brainer, but then again the number of women who seem to like former prison inmates guess not!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would say leave that mofo where the hell you found him... this aint a matter of a man cheating on your sister... this is a man that violated her sister in the worst way... causing some type of irreversible damage to her life and mental state of being.... And for Big Sis to continue on, thats like a slap in lil sis's face... I dont care if you got saved by Jesus or Muhammed himself... There are some things that just otta be sacred or common sense... And dont tell me this some hill billy ass country shit... I dont care how much love I think I got for a man... If I found out dude did some shit to one of my sisters,, especially on a scale like that... he may find himself in a whole nother world of trouble...
ReplyDeleteYa got that right!
ReplyDeleteIf it were my little sister, shoot older sister, cousin, aunty and nem... I'd be on some ole... payback type *ish...
*sounding like Eddie Murphy (speaking to the rapist)*
"Why don't you just lay and take a nap..."
(dead-azz serious)
Oh hell. I didn't even see the other part. The girl a) can't have children and b) is scared to live alone cause of what happened to her and her sister threw her in the gutter for some dick??? Oh helll no. HEYULLLL NAW
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine WHY this nigga would WANT to date the sister of his victim...
ReplyDeleteSomething is fishy about all this to me... it all stinks to hell and gone. I mean..you're falling in love with a man and you don't talk about your family? Hell even months before he ever met her, Darryl knew who the fuck my sister was!
I would tell big sis to wait until old dude is in bed...tie his ass up....and her and her baby sis wear his ASSS Out. Big sis has to realize that this man had the capability to rape her sister..so he still has that same capability. Once a rapist....i feel....always one...I don't think there is rehabilitation for that.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to back away from that relationship. For not only her sake but for her sister's sake AND their relationship.
And no...it's not coincidence. I wouldn't be surprised if ole dude has been stalking this young lady and is using the sister to get near the young lady again. His ass is just that sick to do something like that.
ReplyDeleteI was listening to the people calling in and man...emotions were high! Women who have been raped were crying & such trying to comment.
ReplyDeleteI was at work & considered calling, but I had to back away & wrote this blog instead. I knew I would get waaaaaaay too emotional and probably not get my 2 cents in without bursting into tears.
My BFF was raped 20 years ago. I saw that sorry muthafucka's face and will NEVER forget it. He was never caught and she has blocked his face from her memory.
My baby sister was raped before she was murdered and I hope that lousy muthafucka gets raped everyday & twice on Saturday until the day he dies!
Co-signing!! I would never knowingly involve myself with a cold-blooded killer or rapist. I could never be comfortable around him. Damn sure don't want him around my people.
ReplyDeleteIf, by chance, I was hoodwinked and fell for the sucka before I knew, fuck the feelings! I'm out! I'll get over it.
*CO-SIGNING WITH MY FAT RED SHARPIE CLICKER*
ReplyDeleteThought you knew! This shit is personal!
ReplyDeleteExactly! Her sister's emotional stability is at risk and all over a piece of dick!! The same dick that did damage that will probably never be undone.
ReplyDeleteThat bastard could walk on water, part the seas and whole host of other miracles, but I ain't buying it. Period.
ReplyDelete*nodding in agreement* ...and big sis needs to get her damn head checked! Like last week!
ReplyDeleteI would answer this, but out of fear that someone from law enforcement may be reading this particular blog and comments, I will refrain.
ReplyDeleteYet, believe you me...
awww hell no!!!! never would I stay in a relationship with a man who raped...period, but ESPECIALLY not a man who raped my lil sister! And I agree with mysteeque, once a rapist, always a rapist (or at least that potential to rape again!)
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible story! He would have to go.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about how SELFISH this woman is! I mean that is her baby sister! men come and go (and more than likely he'd go eventually), but that is family. She seriously needs to put herself in her sisters shoes, b/c as long as she is with this guy it's like subjugating her sister the the rape over and over again!
ReplyDeleteSelfish doesn't begin to describe it. Just how hard up are our sisters for a man?! I mean, this shit is bananas!! Times cannot be this damn hard!!
ReplyDeleteI am thoroughly DISGUSTED at the thought of loving on some muthafucka who damn near destroyed someone I love!
*sorry for shouting but as I said earlier, this is personal*
Girl...preach. Holding on to any ole piece of shit just for the sake of not being alone. What will she have left when she realizes his ass wasn't into her..but was using her to get to her baby sis. I'm sorry...but i'm convinced he knew that this chick was the sister of the girl he raped.
ReplyDeleteEspecially since sisters tend to favor each other.
ReplyDeleteI tend to agree. Lil sis was 12 when this happened which means she's around 25 now. 13 years is a long time and of course people physically change, but I don't put anything past a person on a mission.
ReplyDeleteI wish they had mentioned how old Big Sis & the perpetrator are now & how old they were when this happened. I'd bet my next check he was already a grown ass man.
Pardon my french, but I can't believe this dumb *&$%^& even needs ADVICE on this situation! Ok, I know you need to heal, and forgive, but FROM AFAR. I understand people change over the years in appearence and you may have forgotten what old dude looked like. (He may have been a rundown looking crackhead, but since then cleaned up and gained some weight.) But PLEASE BELIEVE, as SOON as I realized who this Mutha WAS ....and he within ARMS REACH..... and all the memories of what he did to my family member come flooding BACK INTO MY HEAD...
ReplyDeleteI am angry and shaking while I am just READING this .... I can't imagine what would have gone down with me RIGHT THERE....
I promise you .. it would not have been pretty. Me, My mother, and my grandmother would be in jail....and we would not have even remember what happenned.
If I was the Big Sis, my behind would have SERIOUSLY cussed out ... and I may even be in the hospital .... and my mother and grandmother in jail.
This is just unreal. I seriously, SERIOUSLY pray, that Big Sis does the right thing. I mean, its a no brainer to me..but apparently she needs some devine intervention.
**Shaking my head*** Man, I am so disturbed by this blog ...
Just shoot him and get it over with ...
ReplyDeleteOh Hell Naw!!! Big sis need a mental evaluation. Aint no way in the world I'm going to lay up with someone who raped my sister. Someone need to lay hands on her real quick. Is she crazy!!
ReplyDeleteShoot!!! I missed that as well!!!!
ReplyDeleteI repeat Sis would have to catch a beat down as well!!!!
Oh wow. See this is why I'm not understanding how the Older sister can be so insensitive to her younger sisters plight.
ReplyDeleteSay that Free, Say that!!!
ReplyDeleteMen come and go. Family, shared blood, DNA is FOREVER!!! How in the HELL do you expect to be able to bring this man to family functions? I have the type of family that will mean mug you until you say "man bump this!!!" My family does not play.
No need to apologize. Because this blog had me so riled up I call Mysteeque and was going off!!! So this issue is touching many people, and it seems Big Sis is having to face she is feeling STUPID for even considering wanting to be with this man.
ReplyDeletea mean mug girl mine will talk about cha ass til u in tears n e 1 hangin wit us fam or not needs ta have a thick skin lol....but in their case she wouldnt bring him ta nann family event.....you kno how u'd do sum bad ass shit as a kid n ya mama used ta say "imma whoop yo ass every time i think about this shit" thas exactly what we'd do ta BOTH of them....every time we saw em they'd find themselvs in an er
ReplyDeleteGIRL BYE - in our family he'd never make it out alive...
ReplyDeleteWord!!!!
ReplyDeleteBlack woman + Plus finding out someone hurt a family member+ Kitchen filled with Knives = someone gonna git cut up bad!!!! Run motherfucker run!!!!!
shoot that makes my mean mug sound like nothing!!!
ReplyDeleteAre we cousins?
ReplyDeleteshit dead is gettin off e z i jus wanna beat em close ta death ova n ova make em whish i woulda killed his ass
ReplyDeleteNow that's what I'm talking about!!!!
ReplyDeletethats a no brainer............i'd drop him like a hotcake.
ReplyDeleteI sent this to my sister and this was her email reply
ReplyDeleteWhat ADVICE?
You can't be serious?
The Big Sister needs to drop his ass like a hot potato , no ifs ands or questions asked.
And when he was introduced to the Family, everyone should have jumped his ass and tore him to shreds and got rid of the body in the dumpster like last weeks trash.
I understand that he paid his debt to society... but dayum, lil sis was damaged for life. Step foot in my House, even 13 years later... and the whole family is getting gangsta