Maybe for you, but in the case of my clan, I must respectfully disagree. If I could choose my family as I have my friends....well that's only wishful thinking.
I've seen people, including my family and friends, financially, emotionally and sometimes physically drained/destroyed by alleged loved ones. I refuse to allow this to happen to me. I wouldn't let stranger do it and damn sure refuse to let a so-called loved one do it.
Loved ones gone too soon, money spent on drugs, whores and cars that could've paid for higher education for more than a few, stress related health problems, dwindled bank accounts and so much more - family was or thought to be involved, directly and/or indirectly.
Granted, I might be jaded because of what I've gone thru, but shit happens and the end result is how I feel.
Every so often, I catch flak from family and friends for this very reason. They call me hateful, ornery, judgmental, self-righteous and whole host of things because I do not put up with the bullshit. In all honesty, they can call me what they want, just don't call me collect.
As God is my witness, they, including the one I birthed, will not have me on meds, in the police database or depleting my savings accounts behind their mess.
I love my family, I truly do. However, my love for them will not overrule common sense. Period.
Period!!!!! Thats all I got. Well, maybe not. You ever notice that your friends and even sometimes complete strangers will step up for you when your family won't? That really chaps my hide!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it be like that sista girl...
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I have to remind myself that He put me with them or them with me, for a reason - one I may never know. In the meantime, I gotta do what's best for me.
ReplyDeleteThat was a good lesson for me to learn from..........thanks for posting it. However, I still remain a damn sucker for my family......BUT to an extent. I know when to stop their asses.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand ... I am learning to love from afar..
ReplyDeleteHere here!!!
ReplyDeleteI love my family...that is my immediate family (kids, mother, father, sister, nephew) other then that...it's a toss up...lol! I guess to I dont have those problems cuz #1 they now my black ass aint got shit to help them with. I've never asked them so damnit dont ask me. If I give you something, dont mistake that as me havin some type of funds to help you in the long run. Dont get me wrong..I love them but from a distance. Family is everything to me and if someone gets in trouble I will refer them to the right people, excluding me. I've worked way to hard to let the fools in my family jack me up.
ReplyDeleteI love my family to no end and that goes for each and every member and both sides of the fence. I can take or leave some of them at some points , however, I take them for the bad and the good in them because I know I am not model relative (what ever that is) myself. I have seen, heard and been involved in some really wild things within my family and I think they can say the same thing about me but I wouldn't have it any other way. All the trials I just pray that the Lord gets them through but I'm not sure about most peoples families but usually things are kept a secret until they just get literally "out of hand" and that's when folks start to talk.
ReplyDeleteYes, like Shan I have family members I love from a distance but I still love them no matter how wrong they are it just pisses me off sometimes how they do some folks (yeah i'm talking about particular people now) and then they just think they can use them and throw them away. I love them but they are definitely going to feel really bad when they realize what they have done. I just pray for them cause they just don't know.
I used to be the peacemaker, but people make it hard to love em. It's hard to let them go, but I drop a little every day.
ReplyDeleteI love my family. I used to be the one who came to everyone's rescue. When I needed someone, nobody would step up to the plate. I put the brakes on that mess. Is funny, your friends will do for you quicker than your family.
ReplyDeleteain't that it?
ReplyDeleteI love my family, but that doesn't mean I put up with BS just because they are my family. That's nonsense. If you wrong, you are wrong regardless of my relationship to you.
ReplyDeleteLet them call you what they want. You continue to be smart and if the only thing you can do for them is say a little prayer, do that and keep it moving.
To make you stronger!
ReplyDeleteI had to tell one of my friends this all the time! She would be in TEARS EVERYDAY over something a FAMILY MEMBER did, said or didn't do.
ReplyDeleteI kept telling her to quit putting so much value into the word family. If they show you who they are, remember that! Love them from afar! REAL FAMILY wouldn't hurt you on purpose. The ones that do, keep your distance!
I'm not going to keep letting ANYBODY play with my emotional strings, I don't care who they are!
I kinda wish I could say the same but I know for certain fact that the people who are my immediate family could straight have me on LOCK DOWN if anybody gets wrong with them. LOL That was proven this past week. Now, outside my father, sister, brother, nieces and the boy....fuck em. But these folks listed above are my world and I'd do anything for them.
ReplyDeleteNow, that's the case regarding my extended family. I have friends and total strangers who have had my back tougher than some folks I call kin. One day I'll have to dedicate blogs to all my DAWGS! LOL
ReplyDeleteOf course our minor children are an exception to the rule.
ReplyDeletefamily is everything if you've been blessed with a *good* one...sot so much, if you have one that leaves alot to be desired. Luckily for alot of folks, [so goes the saying] that [y]our friends are the family you were blessed enough to be able to choose...
ReplyDeleteIts funny how friends can be truly a blessing and family cam be lets just say interesting. Its really unfortunate but with some family members its just best to love them from a distance. Trust me I know! But its funny because my best friend in life is my cousin.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who is more of a sister than my actual flesh and blood sister. I love my family, but they outta be thankful I didn't have to personally choose some of them.
ReplyDeletefamily woes are the worst... cuz you really can't get totally rid of them...
ReplyDeletebut I do put distance between me and them...
happiness is a choice and I will not tolerate anyone who tries to disrupt my happiness... blood or not.