Have you ever been on a blind date and the person you were meeting had a "physical flaw/imperfection" (not a disability) that you weren't aware of, they never bothered to mention and/or couldn't be determined from a photograph? He said he kinda favored Martin Lawrence but actually looked more like Jerome aka Romey Rome? She said she looked like Janet Jackson but was closer to Freddie Jackson? (Think Friday….I had to toss that in there so the fellas won’t think I’m just picking on them.)
Allow me to share my horror story with you:
I met this guy on-line and we had been talking on the phone for several weeks. Due to working schedules and family obligations it was hard for us to make a connection. We exchanged several pics. All of his were straight-faced. Y'all already know me & all these damn teeth.
When we finally did meet, the brotha's two (2) front teeth were missing! Now I'm a sucker for a man with a nice smile (ones like Mike & STO), so needless to say, I was speechless.
He never really looked at me when talking and he was very good at hiding his smile using his hands as he talked. This lead me believe that his teeth have been missing for quite some time.
I enjoyed the meal, which he graciously paid for, but was so taken aback by the dental issue, I avoided his calls. I wanted to say something about my shock but I just couldn't find the words.
Let me stop lying. What I really wanted to say is, "How dare you bring your snaggle-toothed ass to meet someone on a date & try to keep your dental mishap a secret?! How long did you think you could hide the fact that your front teeth were missing until someone eventually caught on?! I've got 4-eyes* (2 of which I paid damn good money for)." {before Lasik}
At any rate, I try not to be judgmental (I'm working on this one), because I'm a big girl & I know what it's like to be judged by appearances. However, I don’t appreciate being deceived either. I have no problem sharing full body shots or my jeans size when asked (one guy even told me I was too small for him...he preferred his women 300+ lbs). We like what we like & no sense in wasting time.
Have you or someone you met withheld vital information such as this? I know I can't be the only one.
Whew!
ReplyDeleteWhen I use to peruse the phone lines, women were notorious for that nonsense. However, I have yet to encounter someone with fake pics online.
I"ve never had that problem but then again...I haven't met anyone off the net as of yet...lol! So Im n the safe zone.
ReplyDeleteHis pics weren't fake, but I now know why he didn't smile in them.
ReplyDeleteLemme hurry up and post a smiling pic...
ReplyDeleteNow Mo.. How you gone discriminate against a man that may have lost his two front teeth in some kind of freak accident... Hell, he coulda been in a pork rind eating contest and bit on one the wrong way and bam... toofless for the rest of his life... But he coulda been the best damn man eva...
ReplyDeleteYes, this has happened to me. He never said a word. Actually someone else said something to me prior to me meeting him, but I thought it was just hate, nevertheless I was already prepped. It just so happens this person has a shining personality that I adore, so it didn't make a whole lot of difference.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know what would have happened had I no warning.
Then again, I dated someone who has a silver cap on his front tooth for two years and I had no prior "warning" about that either.
Ain't nobody ever doubted your dentures! *zooooooooooooooooooooooom!*
ReplyDeleteYou know what, my BFF said and I quote, "Don't bypass a toothless wonder!" She done lost her damn mind! LOL
ReplyDeleteAll you gotta do is support that toothless man and direct him to the nearest dental office... and get that shit corrected... hell,,, you saw how bad Kiesha Cole's mom's grill was and she got that fixed... anything is possible.. lol
ReplyDeleteI've never met anybody on the net as of yet, so NO, never had that problem. BUT....you know what they say about folks with no teeth. *Wink*
ReplyDeleteIf he was a nice dude over all, you probably coulda worked with him.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteNow I'm not knocking the folks with missing teeth, but don't try to keep that shit secret if you plan on meeting someone....and hoping for a 2nd date.
ReplyDeleteI dated a man who's teeth got knocked out his senior year. I was a freshman at the time & saw the fight. When I ran into him several years later, his partial plate looked great.
My mama also lost some teeth due to poor dental care & needed a partial, but almost didn't get it. Talking about she couldn't afford it. I would've sold my 1st born to get my mama's grill fixed.
My granny had a full top plate & it was my job to make sure she didn't leave home without them. LOL
Boy..we n the same boat!! We need some experience..dont we...lmaoooooooooo
ReplyDeleteI know damn welll you see your name in the body of the post! :P
ReplyDelete***howlin**** What dey say?
ReplyDeleteNever experienced that TYPE of deception, but it made me think of that movie "Two Can Play That Game" where Bobby Brown was the tore attendant at the car wash (I think), jhery curl and all... If that's the only issue... and I feel you cause it's one of th first things I notice too; don't let a good one go.
Lawd....girl..hand mama her teeth..LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteYou sound like BFF talking about the toothless wonders! LOL
ReplyDeleteI hope I didn't miss the boat with him because of my hangup...I just couldn't get past it.
I've met 2 people from the net... One of which was completely perfect to me.. but got me all twisted up right now... the other was kinda weird... and it wasnt that he looked crazy or missing anything... But on our first and only meeting... he talked about his job 10% of the time and his mom 90% of the time.. now i can respect a man that loves his mommy... but that was some Norman Bates type shit...
ReplyDeletethats why the next mofo I meet from the net will be in a group setting of 20 or more... And best believe I got a stun gunn in my pocket... for you frisky mofo's.. lol
He just wanted to show off his new veneers. lol
ReplyDeleteThey say that oral sex is better because you don't have to worry about the teeth scratchin' you.
ReplyDeleteLMAOOOO....that's wut they say!!!
ReplyDeleteHey, don't shoot the messenger. I've never tried it myself.
ReplyDeleteYou tryin' to tell me it ain't true?
ReplyDeleteMo, this sounds like my Mr. Four Gold Teeth!
ReplyDeleteI have a DOOZIE of a story I could share...but I'm afraid 'cause he's a really nice guy and I don't want to bad mouth him.
SMH...I NEVER saw this coming!!!!
I had to think about this and I honestly don't remember anything like this happening to me. I've met about 2-3 brothas online in person and their pics were pretty accurate to what they look like.
ReplyDeleteNow, those who know me KNOW that TEETH is the FIRST thing I look at on a man!!! I don't know WHAT I would've done if I were in your shoes!!! I've tried to stop putting so much emphasis on this (because I'm afraid the Lord is going to send my "blessing" in the form of a man with a HORRIBLE GRILL), but you are right- we like what we like and there's nothing we can do to change that.
Oh, the pics were of him, but again, a lot of men don't smile for photos so I wasn't concerned.
ReplyDeleteWhen a man asks me what I find attractive on men, I tell them that a nice smile tops the list. I'm not seeking perfect because I don't have Vickie Winans teeth, but you just can't spring gatemouth on a person.
Um.....ah....well.....ur...DAMN!
ReplyDeleteIVE PUT MUCH TIME INTO 4GETTING THESE INSTANCES I WILL NOT REHASH THOSE FEELINGS AT THIS TIME MO LMAOOO
ReplyDeleteLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEAD @ GATE MOUTH
ReplyDeleteI got that from my Mama! LOL
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeletelol... (i know) just needed it for the record... *gigglin'*
ReplyDeleteOK you're right... point taken.
ReplyDeleteOhhhh is that what it is?!?! LOL
ReplyDeleteI don't withhold information... I point folks to my photobucket albums.
ReplyDeleteI haven't gone on a date in a long time... I dont remember anybody not looking like their picture or just being fucked up to hell and gone....
*rofl @ his snaggle toothed ass*
first off -- THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT :)
ReplyDeletenext: yeah I had this happen to me MANY years ago. My only net-horror story and it wasn't dramatic or anything. It was simply the fact that all the pics she sent me of her were about 150lbs ago.....yes, she was about 150lbs BIGGER than her photo. Now, y'all who know me knows I appreciate a thick girl/big girl if the proportions are right and will do the damn thing, but she was already borderline as is.....this was WAY over the edge.
I wound up buying a few (strong!) drinks, paging myself from the restaurant phone and then just paying for everything and then running away like a scalded dog
lmaooooooo po sto thas that bull shit...she pulled sum stuf you just dont do!!!!!
ReplyDelete____________________DEAD AND STANKIN_______________________
ReplyDeleteI got left in a restaurant once too... never did find out why.
ReplyDeleteIt was humiliating and hurtful!
That sucks... thats some real assholiness..
ReplyDeleteI mean... I understand that I'm a woman of considerable fluff.. but I'm saying. Be a fucking man. Tell me you're simply not interested, and even better if you're not interested in finishing the meal. Don't tell me you forgot your ATM card, and you're gonna dip to your car, and never come back.
ReplyDeleteWe hadn't even ordered... I left $5 for the waitress and bailed. My roommates at the time were so mortified for me that they bought me a card.
Fluffiness or No fluffiness... you just dont do shit like that.. thats just wrong...
ReplyDeletedifference being - ya ain't got ta lie, Craig
ReplyDeletethe girl didn't have to lie about her weight. I met her in a BBW forum for GOD's sake! If you bigger than your pics, say so, let me make my own decision on whether I can accept that, feel me?
122% felt, bruh...
ReplyDeleteLike I said... I've always had pictures of myself widely available. And I've never made any bones about my overabundant fluff. You should know that from the days of BV. That's why I was so blown about dude leaving me in the lurch.
Question for you. Have you seen any recent photos of me, viz. my blog or anyone else's?
das sum bitchassness
ReplyDeleteI can't say that I have -- you offering? Silkee is a hottie wit a big bootie (and a damn nice rack)
ReplyDeleteshit, I'm engaged and I can at least say I wouldn't leave ya at the table....
I have done some online dating but fortunately have not run into the problem of not getting my moneys worth (phn bills and thangs *giggles). Usually the guys turn out to be really very attractive. Now I don't know how they felt after seeing me being that I'm not with any of them at this time...nor do I still speak to any of them...(hmm..that is kind of suspicious-drifting off). Ok I'm back. I try and keep my photos updated as much as possible and although at first I was not proud of my gap I now love to show it off because it's all me (big grin). As for my lower half (below my shoulders) I am very shy and don't usually like to show it off but I don't have a problem with letting someone know that i'm a fatty *giggles.
ReplyDeleteLOL I was going to draw a comparison ... it doesn't work if you haven't seen a RECENT picture.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have a horror story of my own. I talked to a dude online and on the phone for a combination of 9 months or so. I could never figure WHY this dude wouldn't post or send me a photo. Thing about it, dude had the sexiest voice EVERRRRRRRRRR!!! I knew that he had been married previously and had 3 kids, so I figured he wasn't THAT bad looking. Plus, I knew he was a big guy. No Big Deal, then when I saw him! MY DAYUMMMMM I was shocked. He wanted to hug me and I didn't want that mofo to touch me. Plus he smelled like baby powder which weirded me the fuck out!!!! Men + baby powder = pedophile. He had a 5 mile gap between his two front teeth. Now, normally, gaps don't bother me, BUT being that it was his two front teeth, one faced the front and the other front tooth was around the corner some dayum where!!! Oh, and to make matters worse, he was narcoleptic and fell asleep mid sentence drooling and the whole bit. Needles to say, I was DONE!!!!
ReplyDelete(lmbo and hollaring w/laughter) Ok the kicker here should have been the long span of time that he had not posted or even offered to send any pictures so that you could see what he looked like. Also, girl everyone has there preference so he was cute to somebody that's why he was married and had those children.
ReplyDelete(still cracking up)
Now that makes no sense. She set herself up for that one.
ReplyDeleteOh, if you or someone you know needs some major dental work & cannot afford to pay upfront, an FSA Plan is the way to get it done & not go bankrupt! Trust!
ReplyDeletelawwwwwddddd i can relate.
ReplyDeletecase #1 - dude forgot to tell me he was wheel-chair bound
case #2 - dude was a little big and had 'titties" -- don't throw the tomatoes at me yet. Hell i'm not perfect maself but at least ..... i have a shape with it okay!!!
case #3 - this guy was super nice , the date was great. but half of his mouth was mishaped. i wasn't sure what to say, so i said nothing. i kind of avoided his calls. what do you say...
not sure what the protocol is...
As with anything I tell ppl the truth on my looks so there are no surprises. I have current pics, not ones from the dark ages
We like what we like & no sense in wasting time.
ReplyDeleteAll the more point to be honest about looks, preferences, and all that jazz. NO ONE WANTS TO WASTE TIME!!!! or money...as a few posters said earlier. Your time, by the way is MONEY especially emailing and phoning folks. ...lol.
Well, I really try not to be judgemental because I would hate for anyone to make ugly comments about me. However, my pics are up to date and I am always honest about my fluffticity.
ReplyDeleteNow, I do know a friends sister who met a guy on the net. They had been talking for a couple of months, and everything was good. He loved about 1 1/2 hrs away, and they schedules always conflicted so it took them a while to meet in person. However, they had exchanged pics and everything seemed cool.
Welllll.... when they finally met (He came to her house one Saturday), she learned he was missing an arm. He never mentioned it. She said it freak her out so bad, that she cussed him out about being dishonest and put him out her house. Now, I felt that was a little extreme to cuss the brother out, but I do feel he could of mentioned the missing arm. She didn't even try to find out what happenned to the arm. I mean, if the guy was good to you and willing to accept you, couldn't you at least look over the missing arm? I mean, obviously he lived life just fine without it.
But seriously, some defects a person has ... how is one suppose to bring it up in general conversation?
"Oh, by the way, I'm missing an arm..."
"Oh, yeah, I'm also cock-eyed..."
"Well, I also I have huge gap in my 2 front teeth..."
"Well, my wang is a little on the small side, but I got great oral skills"
I mean seriously, I think some people try to make their personality show in hopes that the person they finally meet can look past their flaws. I mean, I mean a person likes what they like, but its just a thought ...
this is true. that's what dental dams are for. my cousin is missing two of her bottom teeth....she went and got a dental damn to fill the gap. Until she took em out one night while at a restaurant....i didn't know she was missing em.
ReplyDeleteCORRECTION...DENTAL BRIDGE...NOT DAM. THANKS DEE!
very true. i'm working on that aspect myself. i guess it depends on what you're needing at the time, a friend, a FWB, or a cut buddy LOL.
ReplyDeletePersonality does out shine....some things, that's definitely true.
Since my surgery last year I have found it better to let a guy that I'm interested in exactly what is going on with me health-wise. This is so that I am not making a decision for them when it comes to wanting to meet me or remain talking to me and perhaps thinking on the lines of taking it further. I feel that when someone is not truthful about their long or short comings (no pun about the arm) that they are not allowing you to make your own decisions and are making it for you by keeping their true identity hidden from you. This includes missing of any body parts and anything thing else that is of importance.
ReplyDeleteThe least he could have done was say..."So how do you feel about missing arms"...or something like that.
Imma TRY to stop howling...but i don't see it happening no time soon!
ReplyDeletei'm so mad at this story lmbo so so very mad lmbo
ReplyDeleteI did have a guy tell me once that the tip of his nose was shot off, but its not that "noticable." I will admit that freaked me out.
ReplyDeleteShe said that when they were arguing, he kept waving his good arm around. He apparently was tall and had long arms. She said him doing that just made her even madder and even more freaked out.
ReplyDeletedon't be mad. LOLOLOL
ReplyDeleteshhhhhhhhh, ya wakin the dead!
ReplyDeletei uh...went on a blind date with a guy with cerebral palsley. He NEVER told me he had it....and we meet at the food joint and there he comes walking all funny and looking well...funny.
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to be mean so we had dinner. But i told him look....we can be frens but i can't do anything more!
This is all very noble and sweet. and in the real world, people have things that will just wigg the the hell out! Like me and baby powder smelling men. *cringes*
ReplyDeleteHowever, we would all like to think that we would rise to the occasion and be more concern about a person's personality, but I think the problem lies that in trying to sell your personality over on someone without telling them of your defects or what have you, you are in essence deceiving them by taking the power out of the other person's hands and not allowing them to make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to be with you.
I mean damn, dude coulda told me he was a sleepy kinda guy or SUMFFIN!
Another dude I talked to alot on line, but had actually met, had the audacity to tell me he was 8 inches and thick and that mofo needs to marry his ass a virgin. How you gonna tell me that after I done told you that a man with undermasculinized external genitalia can't do shit for me?
I'm just sayin....
falls to the floor laughing...
ReplyDeletetell 'em sis!
So how do you get around that? Do you ask men about their baby powder tendencies?
ReplyDelete**sniggling**
Dang....
ReplyDeleteactually, yes. I ask them what kind of cologne they where and what kind of deodorant. If he says powder fresh or some shit I am THROUGH! And usually a follow up question like uhhh, do you wear baby powder. No lie.
ReplyDeletehe just don't understand why I won't let him come over no mo!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's not hard to do! Back in the day (before the internet) when being set up by friends & I had no problem saying this exact statement, adding that I have Kool-aid kinda smile. I damn sho wasn't gonna show up looking like Ms Chancellor (old school Y&R fans know what I mean), trying to hide my smile.
ReplyDeleteI did NOT need that visual!! I don't make fun of the disabled...but damn.....*lol privately & punching my ticket to hell*
ReplyDeleteA gap between the front teeth is one thing, many a person I know have a gap and it is apart of their beauty. Having your two front teeth around the corner from each other is a totally different scenario.
ReplyDeleteI had one experience... He was cute.. But when he opened his mouth... He had broken and missing teeth... I just couldn't get past the teeth!! I have a gap but... It's not due to poor hygiene. We talked and ate, then the mofo wanted a kiss. I think not. I politely told him, I don't kiss on the first date. I took my happy ass home.
ReplyDeleteSis I'on even know what to say.....I swear I don't. Gatemouth was a walk in the park compared to this.
ReplyDelete1 - I've been approached by 2 guys on-line who were paraplegic & didn't feel the need to hide it.
ReplyDelete2 - I'm far from perfect but when I say I'm fat, that's what the hell I mean. I am not thick & will not lie & say so. I'm fat (but I'm not sloppy) & if he has a problem with dark skin, belly fat & a high booty, keep it moving.
AMEN MO!!!
ReplyDeleteMy army buddy told me upfront, "I don't have 7 or 8 inches of dick, but I'll eat yo ass into submission."
ReplyDeleteHe did NOT lie. *fanning at the memory* The intercourse left a lot to be desired but the BAH was on point.
I'm guessing some woman was honest with him about his shortcomings so he put it out there so there aren't any surprises.
Now that what I am talking bout!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLooking like he had been chewing on rocks huh?
ReplyDeleteLmbao.... He sure did!!
ReplyDelete**faints**
ReplyDeleteDont be fainting over here!!! I need my girls to come help me BASH MISTERRRR HEAD IN!!!
ReplyDelete*runs from room screaming*
ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
What I wanna know is what is going on with Feyonce in that pic *giggling*
ReplyDeleteYou've done the research too, dayum lol
ReplyDeleteWell you can be fat AND thick so you could just put both.
ReplyDeleteWell, I've never had an experience of that sort. As for me, I'm fat, everyone knows I'm fat (and if you hadn't figured it out, sadly I must say that you're kind of slow lol, I keed I keed, kinda lol) so it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.
ReplyDelete*gasp* Fa real????!?!!!?!?
ReplyDeleteSo far, the few men that I have met online has been upfront with me....
ReplyDeleteI met a man with a fake pic. He acted like I couldn't tell that he and his man-boobs weren't the same as the bruh with the six pack in the pic.
ReplyDeleteI met a cockeyed man. He wore tinted glasses, so it was hard to tell, but I figured it out. On top of that, after swearing on the phone that he didn't smoke, he excused himself to go...SMOKE.
And don't even get me started on the married men.
Lies of omission kill me. That's why it's good to meet people in a group setting.
I'm so glad I'm out of the dating scene! LOL I got new found appreciation & respect for the singles...
ReplyDeleteAnd Shan, I'm packing up my trunks and suitcases and got my one way ticket to HELL for laughing, crying, banging on my desk behind that one-arm story!!! tee hee
I met this dude who said he was 5'9"..... he was a little short for my liking BUT he was nice. When I met him, he was about 5'4" which is shorter than me and I love to wear heels. His teeth was gray, he had smelly breath and he didn't bathe. He was straight grimey! I've met some characters but he was the absolute worst. Oh and and of his legs were longer than the other. He didn't wear special shoes and had a noticeable limp.
ReplyDeleteThis is equivalent to me passing out my HS grad & prom pics from 1990 in 2008....*smh*
ReplyDeleteShit! My question would've been, "Does getting shot at happen to you regularly???"
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm saying. When you're caught completely off guard, you keep focused on that one thing & it's hard to get past....unless you are just trying to get a piece of ass & could care less about these things.
ReplyDeleteYou know the HR lady is here to help. If your employer offers the FSA benefit, there is simply no excuse for not handling your business...unless you find or have a partner who is into or doesn't mind that sort of thing.
ReplyDelete*nodding in agreement*
ReplyDeleteSpeak that!
ReplyDeleteand AMEN!
ReplyDeleteCase in point - I went out with my cousin's bro-in-law this weekend. Word on the street was he was diggin' a sista when he 1st saw me damn near 2 years ago. He was easy on the eyes, but had a cigarette in hand when I met him. *eyeroll* He has a big gap & his teeth are discolored (from the cigs no doubt).
ReplyDeleteI don't care to date or kiss smokers so I never gave him a second thought. Apparently he always asked about me & such and now that he's single (he wasn't when we 1st met & neither was I) he was ready to make his move.
We got together & had a good time. I think the bro has a touch of A.D.D., but he was a true gentleman and we didn't part ways until 5 a.m.
He is a union worker so I know he has benefits. Would I be wrongly to suggest (not anytime soon tho) he consider some long overdue dental work?
I am picky about teeth too, but it's ironic considering I had a stain on one of my front teeth since early adolescence. Mind you, my smile was still fly (in my mind) but then I finally got it removed last summer. I also got my teeth bleached which has done nothing but boost my confidence even more. I get so many more compliments on my smile now, it's ridiculous.Tony has a gap but it's so cute to me.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this guy thinks (like I once did) that nothing's wrong with his smile. Has he quit smoking? I wouldn't say nada until I figured if he's really date/partner potential. Wait for the topic to enter conversation then casually suggest the dental work.
I'm really not sure how he feels about his smile/teeth, but during the course of the evening he complimented my toothy smile about 5-6 times. The gap doesn't bother me, but the tobacco discoloration does.
ReplyDeleteI agree with not saying anything to him if it remains casual. If it goes any further, I will be accompanying him to my dentist office. They so rock!! :P
My dentist rocks too! She's the only one I ever had to at least attempt removal of my stain without any extra out of pocket expense. She's a mean ol' sado-masochist, but her work speaks for itself.
ReplyDelete