1986. I was 14 & a freshman in high school & my friend was 15 & a sophomore. We planned on attending a dance at her school one Friday evening & so we did.
I went to her house after school & we got all dolled up to go to the dance. We made it to the dance & I made a friend, yeah a boy friend. (I told y’all long ago, I’ve been boy crazy since kindergarten.) When the dance was over my friend wasn’t ready to go home. I really didn’t know anyone else so I was rolling with the crew. We ended up going to a local pizza parlor for food & drinks. Afterwards we all went to a friend’s house for an after-party.
When we got to the house, people (mostly high school kids) were in & out & having a good time. I took a seat in the living room, sipped on a soda, listened to the music & people watched. My friend and her boyfriend went into a back room to watch TV. (Yeah I know…)
Shortly afterwards, another young lady who was in the house came & asked if my name was “Monni”. I replied, “Yeah.” She said, “I think that girl is calling for you.” I’m like, “Huh?!” I get up & walk towards the rear of the house & my friend isn’t calling my name…she’s screaming it! I call back for her & she screams, “Monni! He’s got a gun!” I started to scream & cry. I push & push the door (with all of my then 135 lb. might) until I open it just enough to stick my arm in & flip the light switch. No sooner than I do, someone flips it back off & smashes my arm in the door, forcing me to pull it back.
I tried to get some help, but I was screaming & crying too hard for anyone to understand me. I pointed to the door and one of the guys went back & got a gun stuck in his face. A few moments later, 2 guys who I don’t recall entering the house, came out of the room. One holding a gun & the other zipping his pants. They walked out, got into a car & left. My friend had just been raped. She was crying & so was her boyfriend. I think he was 16, maybe 17. He was held at gunpoint & forced to sit there while this criminal violated her.
When she came out I grabbed her & hugged her so tight, they had to pull us apart. They put us in separate cars because we were hysterical & drove us back to her house. We ran up the stairs to tell her mom what happened. I was still crying uncontrollably. Her mom called the police.
By the time the detectives arrived my friend had somewhat calmed down. I was still a crying mess. So much so, that my friend was comforting me, & the detectives thought I was the victim. I hadn’t been touched.
The detectives were questioning my friend & I was still crying. Another male friend tried to comfort me, but he was actually getting on my nerves. I moved from room to room to cry in peace & he was on my heels. Her mother saw what he was doing & convinced him to leave me be & to just let me cry.
My friend’s father & grandmother show up. The detectives finish questioning everyone who was at the party {who came to the house} & then they left to take my friend to the ER. Her grandmother stayed at the house & continued the line of questioning with me. I told her what I could & I cried myself to sleep in her arms.
We later found out that the host’s parents were out of town & he didn’t have permission for the party.
That was the last house party my friend attended.
She doesn’t remember the violator’s face. I’ll never forget it.
I'm still the only person my friend can and will talk to about this. She shuts everyone else out. She couldn't even tell her fiance. She asked me to tell him the story.
I've never been in those shoes, but I wish I could warn every young woman of the possibility.
Thank God you haven't been. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy.
ReplyDeleteWOW, yanno, I used to get so mad about my mother being overly strict with me, but SOME things, I am grateful I didn't get to experience. It makes me so leary as a parent now, about allowing my daughter to go anywhere. If it ain't chaperoned with like minded parents, she ain't going.
ReplyDeleteRape is one of the worst things that could ever happen to anyone... I wish healing for you and your friend (because it never goes away)
ReplyDeleteStories like this make you want to keep your kids on a short leash, but how can one presume that some violator is going to take advantage. I'm glad that you two are still close. I'm sure you play a very crucial role in her dealing with and attempting to get past this.
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to the perpetrators?
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew. I know it's in a "cold case" file by now. If I had to guess I would think they're probably strung out, in jail or 6 feet under.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother overly strict too, but sometimes that also does more harm than good. When I was with my granny as soon as I got an ounce of freedom, I went wild. My mother did get me some freedom because she knew what was going on in my head.
ReplyDeleteI'm here to tell ya! We never went anywhere alone, being taught that whole safety in numbers thing. Our numbers didn't matter much against a Smith & Wesson.
ReplyDeleteI was date raped at 13. It was at his house with his parents upstairs. Was not even a party... His sister helped him. I never told any parents then because I was ashamed. My mother wondered why he stopped coming around after that, but I never said anything.
ReplyDeleteWow that's scary! I hope that didn't scar her for life.
ReplyDeleteIts so sad that things like this happen, especially when no matter what others (friends) want to do that there are times when they are defenseless to help. It has an affect on both the victim and the victim's friends and family. Its sad that sometimes these cases are not treated as they should be, but in the act alone, he took her life and that's something that she will never get back. My heart goes out to your friend.
ReplyDeleteim pretty strict with asia, for these purposes.... she is now in the ninth grade and i reluctantly let her go to her first dance recently...
ReplyDelete