Low & behold there are 3 VHS tapes, without labels, under the damn mattress.
Mind you, I'd confiscated 3 others about 6 months prior to this discovery & gave them to my uncle. My son claimed the videos belonged to my uncle. However, after my uncle reviewed the tapes, he said they weren't his, but his were missing & he'd keep the ones I found.
My uncle & I later concluded that my child had found my uncle's stash & traded them for the ones I found, since the disappearance of my uncle's collection remains a mystery.
Some of the damn videos were "classic". I'm talking brothers with Gumby/Bobby Brown "My Prerogative" haircuts & sistas looking like Apollonia & Madonna.
I asked my child where the videos came from. He claimed he found them next to a dumpster near his dad's house. Lil liar! My uncle & every other man I posed the question to stated the exact same thing. "Men do not pitch porn....ever!"
Why didn't my lil dumb ass offspring just put the videos in a shoebox at the back of the closet or something?! Hell, his bed has 2 mattresses on it & he could've easily hidden them between the box-spring & the lower mattress & yours truly would've been none the wiser.
I have to admit, I did a sigh of relief because none of it was gay porn. Don't mean to offend anyone....that's just how I felt. I want grandbabies (he's my only child), but certainly not anytime in the near future.
Men: Is this a teenage boy rite of passage??
Mothers: Have you ever found porn in your child's possession? If so, how did you handle it?
LOL, I'll send Tony over here
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteHe may have actually borrowed them from your own personal collection.
Did you check YOUR stuff?
I've never owned any & still don't.
ReplyDeleteYes I did and, similary to you I gave it back to his grandfather.........LOL
ReplyDeleteShouldn't be telling on my dad, but he told me my son must have found his stash that he even forgot he had from years and years and years ago...........right............lmho. Although the little grin of embarassment on my dad's face was priceless.........
Girl these days [he's an adult now] I don't dare touch his keyboard or mouse..................LOL
ROFLMHO
Also, a few years ago my friend's son, when our sons were about 17, ran up an internet porn bill of several hundred dollars, she was pissed. But they need to develop healthy attitudes about sex I think, and sometimes as mothers we don't really understand how to deal with their natural instincts, so they do what they do in secret and learn from each other - God forbid, knuckleheads teaching knuckleheads.
ReplyDeleteAll right, my son is 3, so if I found porn in his room, there would definitely be a problem. That being said.. these are the type of situations that make me pray that God sends an angel of a man to one day be in my children's lives. I can honestly say that I have no idea how I would handle it. I would feel like I would embarass the hell out of him if I confronted him. But the thought of my son in his room in the middle of the night watching porn ... sigh... maybe I'll just be thankful if he isn't sneaking in any hooch to practice the moves he sees. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but this blog is too funny! Don't worry, you can laugh at me when my sons reach the porn fascination phase. I think all kids eventually go through it. I remember finding my fathers and my stepfather's porn stash (magazines), which probably indicative of a larger problem...men need to find more creative ways to hide the stuff because someone WILL stumble upon it eventually! I recall another time I was hanging at my friend's house and we ended up in HER father's collection. We popped in the tape and sat there watching it, mouths agape.
ReplyDeleteI think you dealt with it very coolly...it's OK. He's a red blooded male so he's obviously intrigued with the female form. Completely normal...
Lawd you got me clutching my pearls....We don't want our "babies" to grow up and discover the world but they will and there isn't much you can do about it. He needs a MAN to sit down and talk to him tho so he doesn't get the wrong message from these movies(there aint much respect or romance goin on in em)Girl yall gon be alright, just pray and keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteHaving a daughter I think was different. We talked about everything, but it is refreshing to see the openess with her children We have handled the 'porn' stuff already and it was a growing experience for all.
ReplyDeleteMy brother did that when my dad first bought him a computer at age 15. Needless to say, my dad was very pissed. He eventually got his money back because the boy wasn't 18 and couldn't authorize the charges. But it taught me that I need to have an open relationship with my son (now about to turn 6) regarding sex. I know he'll probably get a hold of some porn one day but I want him to know that porn is not a good example of how real relationships work. I don't want him to think it's ok to knock on a woman's door with a pizza and and expect to get some "Booty Bumping Ruckus" going on. I want to be able to teach him the difference between porn and reality.
ReplyDeletePoor kid ..Now how he's going to have to explain it to his buddies..
ReplyDelete"Sorry dude my mom found the porn stash"..He has to paid for those you know!..lol
smdh....Note to all teenage boys:
ReplyDelete"NEVA LET YOUR MOM FIND YOUR STASH OF PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nothing good can come out of your mother finding your collection of VHS tapes, DVD's, Magazines, Blow-Up Dolls....Anything!!!!!!!!!!!
Now...2nite when your jacking off you gonna have go from memory than visual stimulation...smdh
"Can't believe his uncle just gave him up like that....sigh"
Punk....snitch az uncle!..lol
ReplyDeleteLOL...smdh
ReplyDeleteLMBOOO, Just makes me so glad I don't have a boy! You a better one than me! LMBOOO
ReplyDeleteMama never found my stash. I didn't have one. I had 4 older brothers and would raid their stashes.
ReplyDeleteAlmost as funny as someone gettin busted with the whipped cream...*whistling and looking the other direction*
ReplyDeleteSo much for Ms Innocent.
ReplyDeleteFor real, DJ...knowhatImsaying?
ReplyDeleteUncle BROKE DA DAMN CODE...
what da hell!!!
LOL
So he should get his neck broke. Who's with me?
ReplyDeleteGood for you Butterfly. And he will only learn that from a healthy and unjudgmental discussion about sexual dynamics, sexual relationships, what is and isn't appropriate and what is and is NOT realistic. Porn is NOT realistic but to the average teenage boy, they will use it as a measuring stick to how it should go down and how things should be received by the woman....talk, talk and talk some more to him.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I think my uncle just wanted to see me beat the boy child. I soooooooo wanted to but a few male friends convinced me to just let it be.
ReplyDeleteI think it would of been hilarious if you replaced them with kiddy tapes. Just make them look like his porn.
ReplyDeleteHeffa! I might (and that's a big ass MIGHT) tell that one....*whistling & putting on my goody two shoes*
ReplyDeleteYou already have on 360, that's why I didn't mind bustin ya out! LOL
ReplyDeleteHa! That would've been too funny! Lil nasty joker! LMAO
ReplyDelete@ all the men - so this was a rite of passage...of sorts?? I need to know. My soon to be 13 year old nephew has decided he's not leaving my house, so I'll more than likely have to deal with this shit once again.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid, I was into my dad's magazine stash - Hustler, Penthouse were my favorites...Playboy was kinda lame. I liked the smuttier stuff. And where was pop's porno mag stash? Where EVERY dad keeps it IN THE BACK OF HIS DAMN CLOSET. I just made sure to put em back JUST LIKE I FOUND THEM. I always wondered if he knew I was sneaking in there and looking at them when nobody was home.
ReplyDeleteAND AT 43 YRS OLD, I'M STILL WAITING ON HIS DUMB ASS TO GIVE ME THE BIRDS AND THE BEES TALK.
Okay, I'm NOT really waiting cause we don't talk to this day...but...it would have been sooo much easier when I first started having erections to know that I DIDN'T need medical attention and that my body was just bursting [no pun intended] into puberty.
Thanks to my older cousin Junior for breaking it down for me.
LMAO - that would be sooooo wrong but sooooo damn funny.
ReplyDeleteAnd it ain't as if he is gonna confront Mama
"MA, DID YOU MESS WITH PORNO TAPES? I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DIDN'T MESS WITH MY TAPES?"
LOL
LOL, my dad kept his on a shelf at the back of the garage...His "classic" magazines he called them...
ReplyDeleteLawd JT!! LOL
ReplyDeleteWhen he hit puberty my ex & his father had the talk with him, but I don't think they addressed the porn issue.
I also had a habit of just walking into his room (thank God I never saw anything), black mother style (don't close any doors around here unless you pay rent). One of my ex's noticed and pulled my coattail. I never walked into that room unannounced again.
lol
ReplyDeletePlayboy has great articles.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have read Playboy. My uncle had a stash in the back of his closet and I found them one day while being nosey. All the women looked alike. ..skinny, blond, usually white ... women are not a turn on for me, so I would skip past the pics and read the articles. Believe it or not, all the articles weren't related to sex. LOL
ROFLMAO ...You know?? And you know Mo's crazy ass would be going around whistiling the smurfs song, and He KNOW she has something to do with it, but knows better then to ask.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what I would do in this situation. I probably would beat all the black off of him (my first reaction).
ReplyDeleteAccording to my son, 16 years old -- it's normal for boys to have that curiosity or interest in porn. Your boys -- -hell -- men in general have always been fascinated with "tits" and "ass". I don't think there's anything unusual about it. But it might be good to have discussions about love and sex and the difference between the two. I wouldn't want him to have any misconceptions about women -- and I wouldn't want him to treat women like they were objects or HOs!! I definitely would want to know why he had the porn, where he got it from (in case, he's hanging with some disgusting as boys).
Hmmm...I don't know...maybe I will stick to my first reaction. (and then keep the porn for myself!!)
_____________________________________ *flatlines*
ReplyDeleteTime of death: 8:20 pm CST
*begins CPR*
ReplyDelete*gaspssssssss for breath* sooooooooo glad I don't have a boy, I would be dead FOR REAL!
ReplyDeleteOk, so was I the only female who did this??? Granted they scarred me for a big part of my early life, but I would sneak and look at my daddy's trashy magazine's in shock and awe. Like "Oh hell naw, I ain't NEVER doing that crap".
ReplyDeleteDamn, not you too Kim! LMBOOOO
ReplyDeleteHey, I've always been nosey. It runs in the family. Hide something and it's like putting a beacon out to let me know there's something out there for me to find....and peruse. LOL
ReplyDelete*hanging head sadly*
ReplyDeleteI had a grown uncle that lived at home for a LOONGGGG ASS TIME... I found his stash and flipped through em... I couldnt believe it. I thought there was something wrong with white women (for posing for porno) cause he didn't have any mags of black chicks...
@ Shan & JT - I sho wish I had known y'all when this happened! I would've had that boy's head all jacked up! LMAO
ReplyDeleteI didn't have any brothers, so living with a teenage boy was BRAND NEW to me.
ReplyDeleteIn retrospect, I'm glad my ex did say something...God forbid I walked in on the boychild choking the chicken!! Now that's a ______flatline________ for yo ass!
"Frankie B (my pops) I'm coming to join ya daddy!"
I lived with my grandparents for the most part. If Papa did have some Hustlers they were well hidden (probably in that damn drop ceiling).
ReplyDeleteWho told you about that trick?
ReplyDeleteThat's the same thing I thought. When I first saw black porn, I was shocked that black people did that.
ReplyDeleteAha! LOL Even on a ladder I couldn't reach it. It was of the few places I was never curious about rambling thru.
ReplyDeleteDon't walk in on your daughter either. Young ladies need their "private time" too!
ReplyDelete*CLUTCHING MY PEARLS*
ReplyDeleteI just finished watching the video, and I am laughing my damn ass off!
ReplyDeleteThis is WAY too funny.
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!!! What the hell movie is that from?!
ReplyDeleteLMAO ..its from the movie "Not Another Teen Movie" ... it was one of those parody movies about a collection of other teen movies.
ReplyDeleteOk the video was too damn funny.
ReplyDeleteYes..young ladies and "old ladies" need that private time....lock the door!!
This blog has me in tears!!!! ROFL!
ReplyDeletelol... I know how you feel...
ReplyDelete