Mother Nature is a Bitch!

...and let me tell you why.

I had been in the house from about noon on Thursday until Monday morning.  I even called in Friday & that was the company holiday party (since they cancelled Christmas *eyeroll*).  I'm almost always a co-hostess (insert another *eyeroll*) but this year I wasn't feeling it.  Two tears in a bucket, muthafuck it. 

Anywho, we got all these freaking weather reports...some true...some not so true.  Monday morning rolls around & I look outside to see what's happening in the streets.  Kids & folks walking & waiting on bus stops. Neighbors warming up cars, etc.  I get dressed & head out.

I step outside before selecting my outerwear, like I always do.  Not bad...a lil nippy but not bad as they said.

I grabbed my coat, purse & lunch and proceed to leave.  My foot touches the 1st step & down the fuck I went.  Damn!  I bounced down 3 steps like a damn basketball.

I gather my footing & go inside.  My elbow was hurting like a mofo.  My pants were wet, so I called my manager to let her know what happened and that I would be late (well, later than usual). 

I sprinkle some of that ice melt stuff outside & go inside to change clothes.   By the time I came back out, that tricky ass ice was gone. 

I proceeded to defrost my car & see my neighbor coming around the corner with her baby (in a pumpkin seat).  In the blink of an eye, she goes down!!  The pumpkin seat hits the ground!   I rushed (ok, ok...swiftly limped) my newly crippled ass over to help.  I check the baby & she was still asleep.  I help my neighbor up & watch her until she makes it inside her home. 

I limp on into the office only to see 3-4 more newly crippled folks, thanks to Mother Nature.

I'm really feeling the aftershock today & have bruises on my back, elbow and ass to prove it.

Remind me why I haven't left the Midwest?

PS Remember the old Spencer Catalogs (the image)?