Since we are definitely feeling the effects of global warming in the STL metro area, I'd like to go out for some grown folks fun, but Negros can't seem to let the "shoot out the old and shoot in the new" tradition go, I'd have to sleep wherever I go. I live in the hood and it'll be like bombs over Baghdad 'round here. Wherever I am when the sun sets is where I'll be.
This photo was taken NYE 2004....I had a ball!!
by Pearl Cleage, playwright, novelist, activist, powerful, makes us take a sobering look at ourselves...
1. Love, Love, Love Yourself. There's only one of you. Love yourself until death!
2. Stop Playing the Victim. Martyrdom is totally unnecessary for today's woman. Your first allegiance is to yourself. Without a strong sense of self, there is no way that you can tackle the ups and downs of a relationship or the rigors of motherhood (if you so choose).
3. Stop Settling for Less. A piece of a man is definitely not better than whole, healthy man. Your desperation is showing.
4. Stop Trying to Be a Savior. If a man doesn't have his head together and is on the skids, it is not up to you to try to save him. You are neither his mother nor his therapist. Let him go and move on. Men like this will bring you down if you aren't careful.
5. Learn to Exhale Between Relationships. In other words...no transitional lovers. Someone always ends up being hurt and it could be you...again, or that poor man. Neither one of you deserves to be hurt or used. Give yourself some down time.
6. Learn the Difference Between Being Alone and Lonely. Being alone is by choice and loneliness is only temporary. Get out and enjoy yourself. Wallowing in loneliness can often make women desperate for attention and lead them into unhealthy relationships.
7. Don't Allow Any Man to Validate You. Allowing any man to define who you are as a woman leaves you open to being controlled and eventually abused. Why give a man that type of power over you? Now, do you really want to be the kind of woman who thinks that her life is not complete unless she has a man in it...any man? Where's your self-respect?
8. Blessed is the Child that has Her Own. Handle your business educationally and financially. Generally, needy, not so bright women tend to attract men of the lowest character.
9. Small Sacrifices Now Lead to Bigger Rewards Later. Don't let good sex sway you. Sure, he may rock your boat like no other man has ever done, but don't let the sex cloud your judgment. If he treats you like crap, or like a convenient booty call or just add you to his harem then, eventually, you may come to resent him with the same passion you displayed when he was between your legs. Now, if that's all you want, and that's all you think you're worth and are willing to settle for, then be honest and protect yourself. If you play, you will definitely pay. Don't confuse lust with love. And no fair trying to trap him with a pregnancy neither one of you wants. That's dirty pool. And why should an innocent child pay for your stupidity? After all, you picked him.
10. Don't Try to Buy a Man's Affections. In the long run, not only will you lose him, but you will lose your self-respect and any smidgen of respect he may have had for you. Are you that desperate? Any self-respecting man will never allow himself to be kept. Kept meaning, letting him move into your place, paying his car note, allowing him to use your credit, etc.
11. Stop Trying to Change Men. Men will usually tell you who they are if you really listen to them. So try less talking and do more listening and you will, most likely, save yourself some trouble.
12. Stay Away from Unavailable Men. If he's married, separated, having problems with his baby's/babies' mama/mamas, not ready for a commitment, not willing to commit, etc., he is off limits. Now if you thrive on drama, then, by all means, go right ahead. Some women are made like that.
13. Love Doesn't Hurt. Women who say that they love physical or verbal abuse from their mates have some serious emotional issues and will continue to make up excuses until they get the help they need. Don't become statistic. The life you save may be your own.
14. Don't Compromise Your Moral Values. Even if you don't consider yourself a particularly religious person, promiscuity will take a toll on your self-respect and even your health, in the long run. Sleeping around with men who don't have your best interests at heart tends to chip away at the very essence of you. Listen to your instincts. They will never lead you wrong.
15. Respect is Reciprocal. If you want respect then you must give respect, especially toward your mate. If you lash out in anger, frustration, or whatever, be prepared to receive the same in return. Even the most loving and gentle man can take only so much of his woman's funky attitude.
16. Keep Your Personal Business Between You and Your Man. Use extreme discretion whenever you are tempted to discuss your personal problems with family, friends and etc. Many relationships have been broken up due to outsiders putting their two cents in where it didn't belong. Keep that mouth zipped!
17. Don't Advertise Your Man. Whether he is "da bomb" in the bedroom or a blessing sent down from heaven, try to keep it yourself. Actions speak louder than words. Most women can pick up on this just by being around you and yours. Why? Because you are as happy and content as a kitten with a saucer of warm milk. It will definitely show. Now there's nothing wrong with a little bit of bragging about your man. But keep it low-key. No sense in irritating those unscrupulous women who will try to "test your man" and/or lure him away (as if they could)!
Sistas are doing it for themselves!
I think I might try a solo vacation....for my own sanity.
Have you ever vacationed alone? Tell me about it.
Merry Christmas & good morning all!
I hope this message reaches you all in good health & spirits!
I'm sure most of you are busy with festivities & such, but I want to take a moment share a verse (since I can't find the whole song & I'm not typing it) from one of my fav Christmas tunes, Be Thankful by Nate Dogg (the song is on my playlist if you care to listen).
This morning I woke up
With no reason to sing
This morning I woke up
To an unlit Christmas Tree
This morning I woke up
No presents were there for me
But this morning I woke up
And could breathe
We gotta learn to thank Him
Be thankful
If you are reading this you have a reason to be thankful!
Kenny - A 2008 Chevy Avalanche
Kim (my twin) - A Large Coach Carly bag with matching wallet
Big Daddy T - An iced out Cookie Monster chain
Mike Walker - An unlimited supply of no-fat, no calorie, taste-great Doritos
Deedles - Unlimited round trip tickets to see your boo
Sandy - A brand new wardrobe for your smaller everything & a lifetime movie pass to all the sick & twisted slasher films your heart desires
Stacee - 100 new pair of hotgirl shoes for your smaller feet
Dawn (my big sis) - A brand new, completely furnished brownstone in the heart of NYC, custom made cat-house included
DeShanna - All debts paid in full and cute 2 bedroom apartment close to mom & granny
Bebe - Unlimited photography sessions & prints
Kelly - a live-in personal chef
Mona - a live-in Nanny to help with the boys
Moni - your very own animal shelter so you can help the ones who need it & get some puppy love whenever you need it
Udigg - Big Bub, naked under your tree
Will & Tia - a brand new home to accommodate your blended family
Tonya - a live-in nanny so you can shake ya "groove thang" whenever you feel like it
Ro - A one way ticket to Curtis' crib
Silkee - A brand new, top of the line, sewing machine with all the bells & whistles and unlimited shopping at your favorite fabric store
Sunshine - Unlimited hair, nail & spa treatments
Texasshoney - A gazillion gigabyte iPod with all the bells & whistles
Figi's Mama - a fly post-pregnancy wardrobe
TNP - Free membership to the gym of your choice
Amoure, Bre, Choclat, Classi, Glama, LadyB, RedEye, Pecan, Sto, Sunny, Subira, Vee & anyone else I forgot, you get $5,000 to do with as you damn well please!
Merry Christmas y'all!
Those of us she knows personally, she picked items that were specific to us. For those she doesn't know she gave cybercash. I got some fly ass red maribou slippers & an aromatherapy gift set. Thanks Dee! **gotta get those slippers**
Now, if you could get me one (1) tangible Christmas gift (yeah I'm being selfish), what would it be? ....spare no expense, as money is no object in cyberworld.
Oh and the pic above is very fuzzy but it's very dear to me. It's me {Pumpkin...nickname given the day I was born by my Papa} and The Jones' - Dorothy Mae aka Muda....my granny & {in the background, probably sippin' on a lil something} Hugh Luther aka Papa....my grandpa. I love & miss them both.
This topic was on our local radio show.
When my daddy died, my mother never remarried. Albeit, she did have a long-term boyfriend, common-law husband or whatever you wish to call him. He was a true father figure to me & my sister.
I never asked her why she didn't marry Bill. I guess in my heart I didn't want her to. In my young mind that meant she would totally forget about my daddy. Now that I'm grown & have been thru some things of my own, I know that's not the case.
Check the poll & feel free to post a reply as well.
Note: You might not want to read this at work. It's a long & emotional post.
It started like any other cold December morning, 4 days before Christmas. The phone rang & it was a gentleman friend of mine. Dammit!!! I over slept, which meant my son (then age 10) missed his bus & I would have to drop him off at school. It wasn't a big deal because his school was only about 5 city blocks from my office. We pulled it together and get in car & leave the parking lot. I see my nephew (then age 8) walking towards my house. Not even thinking of the time, I told him to get in the car assuming he missed the bus. I asked him where Tyra (my sister who was also 10) was. He replied, "She's in the bed and won't wake up." Now I'm really confused. I asked, "Where's your granny (my mother)?" He replied, "She's on the floor & won't wake up either." Now I'm thinking what the hell?!?! My mind immediately went to carbon monoxide poisoning.
I went to my mom's apartment {very close proximity to mine} and went up the stairs. I asked my nephew how did he get into the house & he said the door was unlocked. Confused & anxious, I entered my mom's apartment. It was warm & quiet. I called out & no one answered. I went towards to stairs and noticed a small amount of what appeared to be blood on the wall. I immediately got an awful sinking feeling like I've never felt before. I called for my mom again. No answer. I reached my mom's bedroom. It was dark & she was on the floor. I touched her. She was cold. Everything went black for a moment. I backed up & walked towards my sister's room. She was on the bed, naked. Everything went black again. I don't even remember what her face looked like. My son & my nephew were behind me. I screamed for them to find the phone. They were afraid & crying & couldn't find the phone.
I ran out of the house, back to my apartment & called 911. An officer arrived in a matter of minutes. He went upstairs & came back down on his radio. The look in his eyes told me my mother & sister were dead. I asked him anyway. He replied, "It doesn't look good." It was at that moment that I realized that my nephew had stumbled onto the murder scene of my mother & sister. This child had absolutely no idea what he had discovered.
The ambulance arrived & left, empty, just they way they came. In a matter of moments police & detectives were everywhere. I was in a daze, confused & numb. I called my cousin & told her to get to my mom's house right away. She knew something was terribly wrong, but I was in shock & couldn't find the words. She hung up & was on the way. By this time all of the neighborhood was outside watching. The news media arrived shortly after.
A family friend went to pick my other sister up from work. How could I tell her that our mother & baby sister were dead?
My sister arrives & flips out when she sees all the commotion. She runs up the stairs to where I'm standing & screams for me to tell her what's wrong. I can't. I stand there with tears in my eyes & pain in my heart. I just stand there. She keeps shouting. I finally say, "They're gone." She drops to her knees & vomits.
I called my recent ex's job & ask the dispatcher to radio him to call me. She kept asking what was wrong, I couldn't say anything. I just begged her to radio him & tell him to call me. He didn't call. He didn't know what was wrong but he rushed to my side. In what seemed like a few minutes, I looked up & saw him. He spoke with a detective & punched a brick wall. His hand started to bleed.
The police are gathering evidence, the detectives are questioning me, my sister, the children and the neighbors. The detectives ask me if my mother own a meat cleaver. I just stared at them with disbelief. I think I answered but don't recall what I said. Soon the funeral director's hearse pulls up. I hear the Chief of Police whisper to a detective, "Get them out of here before they remove the bodies. They don't need to see this."
My sister & I got into a car with a detective. My ex took the boys. We go downtown & spend several hours answering questions & such. The police chaplain came into the waiting room to pray with us.
My ex left to go & pick up my 2 best friends. He didn't call, as I doubt he could find the words. The 3 of them came into the waiting room with tears streaming down their faces. We hugged & cried & asked God, "Why?!?!"
Moments later, my mother's best friend walked in with her nephew. She was numb. I could tell. With the exception of the who, what, when, where & why questions, the rest of the time spent in the precinct is a blur to me. All I could think is, "This happens to other people, not me!"
A detective came & told me that I didn't have to make a formal ID since I was the 1st adult to discover them. For that I was relieved, as I don't think I could've done it. I did find out later that my little sister's father was allowed to see her. I think that did more harm than good, as he was just on the road to kicking an alcohol addiction. You don't have to wonder why he went back to his old habits.
We went home & shortly afterwards my apartment was swarming with people. My mother was very popular & almost everyone loved her. My phone was ringing off the hook. Family. Friends. Co-workers. Colleagues. A few people I didn't even know. I was later told that their murders had been announced on the local news & radio. A cousin in California had seen it on CNN.
On Christmas Eve when I should've been decorating & baking, I was shopping. Not for gifts, but for something to lay my Mother to rest in. Her apartment was still a crime scene, yellow tape & all. We still hadn't been allowed to go in, so I had to start from scratch. The funeral director told me what items were needed and it was on my shoulders to see that it was done.
It's Christmas Eve, 1998, and as much I love to shop, this was not going to be one of my usual shopping trips. I eventually find an outfit which I thought would complement my mother's skin tone. She was a red-bone, not light, not dark, but red. She never really left any specifics about final arrangements. The only request she ever made was and I quote, "I don't want no sad singing & flower bringing. Get some wine, get some music & have a party in my remembrance. Laugh, dance & drink when you think of me." Maybe, one day, when we can finally get past the hurt we will.
Their killer was still at large, but trust me when I say St. Louis' finest detectives were on the job trying to bring this person to justice. He was eventually caught on Christmas Eve & he confessed to the double murder. I won't go into a lot of detail about the apprehension, arrest & confession because it makes me so very angry.
Christmas Day of 1998 had to be the most awful Christmas of my life. My other nephews were ages 4 and 2 at the time, so they had absolutely no idea why such sadness filled our house at Christmas time. We made the best of it, for the sake of the children.
The absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do was pick a casket for my 10 year old sister. I knew that one day I would have to bury my mother, but baby sister was supposed to bury me! Not the other way around! The second hardest thing was writing her obituary. As you can probably tell, I'm no stranger to the "pen". I knew what to say, I just couldn't write it down.
At the viewing, the funeral home had to extend the viewing by 2 hours because people just kept coming. Family, friends, colleagues, people I haven't seen since I was too young to remember, people I never have. An adult cousin had an anxiety attack & had to be hospitalized. A teen cousin said it should've been her! "Jesus help us!" is all I could think. My family had literally been torn apart.
At the home-going service (my cousin Stephanie didn't want to the term funeral referenced anywhere, so we didn't) an old high school friend spoke & it touched me so, as I hadn't seen Michael Tyler since the day we graduated. I never got a chance to thank him.
It was very cold that day & the sun was no where in sight, but as everyone sat silently reading the obituary, just like a sign from the heavens, sunlight burst thru the stained glass window & shone up me & my family for about 10 seconds & vanished as quickly as it came. It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen and felt. It was like my mommy & sister wanted to let us know that they were OK. It was for that very moment, my heart felt at ease. I really cannot explain, so I won't even try. I will say that everyone in the church noticed & commented on it later.
When the police cleared my mother's apartment for us to go in and clean out I just knew I was gonna lose it, but I didn't. We never went into the rooms were their bodies were found as that would've been too traumatic. My best friend Linda went in & cleaned the rooms, gathered personal belongings, etc. For that I will be eternally grateful! I think my heart broke into a 1,000 pieces when Linda found some gifts that my little sister had wrapped for our family. I took me over a year to finally open mine. It was a scented candle. I have still have it and have always wanted to light on her birthday, I just cannot find the strength to do.
The police also found her Christmas List and gave us a copy. They had to keep the original because it was evidence. Much to my surprise, I had gotten one of the things on that list. I still have it. I just can't bear to get rid of it.
9 long & arduous months later, their killer was sentenced to prison without the possibility of parole, as he plead guilty to all counts. In the State of Missouri, only a jury can issue a death sentence. Since he plead guilty, a jury trial wasn't necessary.
My family is still saddened, angered & tormented by this ordeal, but we survived it. It's still a struggle for us especially at holiday time. I just have to trust that the Lord has a plan & it will be followed thru.
My intentions of sharing this story with you are of therapeutic nature for me. There are so many more details that I omitted, as sharing what I did was extremely painful. I have always wanted to put these words on paper & I may even write a complete book one day. I just don't have the strength right now. Just writing this blog was a struggle for me & it took a few days, but I did it.
I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for listening & sending your love!
Note: I changed the subject with the hopes of getting a few more testosteronic (ha!) replies.
When I was a lil bright-eyed child, I dreamed of the Cinderella wedding like most girls do, including the big, white gown & releasing of the doves. There's was one major reason I couldn't wait to get married....to change my name!
I hated my last name for a really long time. I wanted the last name of several of my relatives - Jones, Smith, Brown (Meet The Browns ain't got shit on my Browns & one of my connects can tell ya)....sorry....back to my topic. Pretty common names right? I guess that's why I wanted one. It wasn't until one of my distant cousins became a star athlete in high school, that I started to appreciate my name...my daddy's name...a name widely recognized in our area.
The late Ike "Fine Yo' Ass" Turner put the icing on the cake for me with "That name got my daddy's blood on it." I'll repeat that in heartbeat.
Again, back to my topic - after so many years of wanting a last name other than the one on my birth certificate & later learning to appreciate my name, I decided if some lucky brother ever made an honest woman out of me, I wouldn't change my name. No children would come from this union, so what's the point? I'd be inclined to reconsider if that was the case.
I've decided my tombstone would read the same as my birth certificate. I would go out the same way I came in - not as Joe Smith's wife, but as Frankie B's baby girl. I could replace a husband umpteen times, but I could never replace my daddy.
The two (2) times I was seriously in love & contemplating marriage, I toyed around with the whole hyphenation thing, but my last name & theirs simply did not flow.
This brings me to my question:
Ladies - did you/would you keep/drop your birth name or hyphenate?
Gents - did your wife drop/keep her birth name? How did the decision effect you? Feel free to answer based upon wifey material.
Social Security will probably be a thing of the past by the time us Generation Xers are ready to retire....especially if we're depending on these Generation Yers to bankroll us. Ha!
I don't know about y'all but I don't wanna work full-time past the average retirement age, unless of course I take up my dream occupation of Professional Traveler.
Thinking ahead to the Golden Years, on average, how much have you saved towards retirement (401k, 403b, IRA, etc., including vested employer contributions)) account(s)?
The top 10 places I'd like to visit before I meet my maker:
What about you?
so why do I feel responsible?
I was watching CSI:NY and one of the cases kinda hits home - the murder of a child.
Bear with me for a moment as this is painful & still makes me angry, but writing from my heart, to share with others, is how I express myself. It eases my pain & I just need to get this off my chest.
Those who know me, know what happened so I won't get into that right now.
The night my little sister was murdered she had come to my house to get some hair accessories. If memory serves me correctly she was in a play or something the following day. She came to my back door, I handed her the items she needed & rushed her out of the door. She wanted to stay, but we (me & my ex) were busy wrapping Christmas gifts & we didn't want the kids there. I sent her on her way.
That was the last time I saw her alive. The last time I heard her voice. The last time I saw her smile. Her life was senselessly & maliciously taken that evening. She was only 10.
I know what happened was out of my hands, but God, I can't help but wonder if I had let her stay would her life been spared.
I already know the answer, I just don't know why I keep asking the question.
I had been in the house from about noon on Thursday until Monday morning. I even called in Friday & that was the company holiday party (since they cancelled Christmas *eyeroll*). I'm almost always a co-hostess (insert another *eyeroll*) but this year I wasn't feeling it. Two tears in a bucket, muthafuck it.
Anywho, we got all these freaking weather reports...some true...some not so true. Monday morning rolls around & I look outside to see what's happening in the streets. Kids & folks walking & waiting on bus stops. Neighbors warming up cars, etc. I get dressed & head out.
I step outside before selecting my outerwear, like I always do. Not bad...a lil nippy but not bad as they said.
I grabbed my coat, purse & lunch and proceed to leave. My foot touches the 1st step & down the fuck I went. Damn! 
I gather my footing & go inside. My elbow was hurting like a mofo. My pants were wet, so I called my manager to let her know what happened and that I would be late (well, later than usual).
I sprinkle some of that ice melt stuff outside & go inside to change clothes. By the time I came back out, that tricky ass ice was gone.
I proceeded to defrost my car & see my neighbor coming around the corner with her baby (in a pumpkin seat). In the blink of an eye, she goes down!! The pumpkin seat hits the ground! 
I limp on into the office only to see 3-4 more newly crippled folks, thanks to Mother Nature.
I'm really feeling the aftershock today & have bruises on my back, elbow and ass to prove it.
Remind me why I haven't left the Midwest?
PS Remember the old Spencer Catalogs (the image)?
7 Things about Me
I don't like kids. I love them, but I don't like them. I don't babysit and I chose not to be bothered with them any longer than absolutely necessary. I think my pressure goes up anytime anybody under 13 crosses my threshold. No need to wonder why the boy is an only child & will remain an only child.
I never learned the ever popular Electric Slide & never had any interest in learning. Does that make me un-American? 
I hate onions! White ones, green ones, red ones, raw ones, cooked ones. I hate onions! I like the flavor & essence of onions, but biting into them makes me wanna gag. I use onion powder or large chunks (easily removed) when cooking.
I know I could leave my job, move on to make more $$ and even better, have a private office, etc., but I enjoy what I do & most of the people most of the time. I've been here 11 years. Not to mention my commute is 5 minutes tops & I'm free to come & go and do as I wish most times.
I hate cream cheese, sour cream, ricotta cheese, cottage cheese and anything remotely related. Cheesecake is gross & my lasagna is ricotta/cottage cheese free.
I'm trying to muster up the nerve to take a vacation alone. No friends, no family, no man & definitely no juveniles. Just me, myself and I.
Damn what Rev. Al says, I BELIEVE in forced sterilization for drug abusers, career criminals, women with more than 3 kids on public assistance & men who leave a baby on every damn doorstep they cross.
The views expressed in this blog are mine and if you don't like it, too damn bad!
This was "our" classic. ...and in this day & age of healthcare, isn't far from the truth!
The Christmas season proves to quite an exciting time for Fat Albert and his gang when Marshall's mom turns up at the junkyard looking for a place to deliver her baby. Busy preparing for the Christmas pageant, the Cosby Kids take a break in order to help Marshall's folks, who cannot go to the hospital because they have no health insurance. As they open up their doors to this family in need, the kids hope that somehow their generosity and holiday spirit will rub off on Tyrone, the stingy junkyard owner who's been threatening to close their beloved clubhouse down.
Low & behold there are 3 VHS tapes, without labels, under the damn mattress.
Mind you, I'd confiscated 3 others about 6 months prior to this discovery & gave them to my uncle. My son claimed the videos belonged to my uncle. However, after my uncle reviewed the tapes, he said they weren't his, but his were missing & he'd keep the ones I found.
My uncle & I later concluded that my child had found my uncle's stash & traded them for the ones I found, since the disappearance of my uncle's collection remains a mystery.
Some of the damn videos were "classic". I'm talking brothers with Gumby/Bobby Brown "My Prerogative" haircuts & sistas looking like Apollonia & Madonna.
I asked my child where the videos came from. He claimed he found them next to a dumpster near his dad's house. Lil liar! My uncle & every other man I posed the question to stated the exact same thing. "Men do not pitch porn....ever!"
Why didn't my lil dumb ass offspring just put the videos in a shoebox at the back of the closet or something?! Hell, his bed has 2 mattresses on it & he could've easily hidden them between the box-spring & the lower mattress & yours truly would've been none the wiser.
I have to admit, I did a sigh of relief because none of it was gay porn. Don't mean to offend anyone....that's just how I felt. I want grandbabies (he's my only child), but certainly not anytime in the near future.
Men: Is this a teenage boy rite of passage??
Mothers: Have you ever found porn in your child's possession? If so, how did you handle it?
St. Louis is notorious for freezing rain & ice storms. The temp is gonna drop to 31 & coupled with the rain, it ain't gonna be nothing nice 'round these parts.
I hope to start & finish shopping for my nephews & nieces this weekend and get some long overdue housework done.
Remind me why the hell I still live here.....
PS That pic was taken from my front porch after the 2006 ice storm.
....is something I've tried to avoid at all cost.
So today, I see my 1st love, who was also my on & off ex for damn near 1/2 my life. I 1st saw his mammy (yeah mammy...she didn't like me & the feeling was mutual) and I prayed he wasn't near. Low & behold I hear his voice. Damn! I don't want to see or talk this man....even tho I was looking rather fly & nothing would've pleased more than "throw" it in his face, but instead I headed for the checkout hoping I could be out before he saw me.
(Quoted from "Samantha" on Sex in the City.) She ain't neva lied! The grey hair in my head is getting outta control. I was OK with one (1) or two (2), but damn, every day I awake to what {I think} is more than my fair share. To make matters worse, some grow in grey & others are turning grey from the root. The ones that grow in grey don't even appear to belong in my head.
I want to age gracefully, but damn. I've never used permanent hair color, but I think the time has come!
Back in the day, I was the queen of the semi-permanent colors....blue/black & burgundy to be exact. My mom & granny wouldn't allow me dye my hair burgundy. They did meet me 1/2 way & allowed the semi-permanent color. You could barely see it under normal lighting , but in the sun the color was the bomb!
I'm feeling a little adventurous & want to try a new color, but I'm deathly afraid, I'll end up looking like Lucille Ball (fireball red) or Marilyn Monroe (platinum blonde) by the head & that's a no-no. Those colors are beautiful on some sisters (Starr & Silky to name a few), but won't work for me.
My natural color looks black, but is really a dark brown. I'm considering a lighter shade of brown or natural black.
Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. I can't go too wild....I don't want corporate America, also known as the white folks who sign my off on my salary, looking at me like I've lost my ever-loving mind.
This is one of my fav pairs of shoes & I can wear them all day without issue.
Like many other women, I love shoes! I especially love those shoes that make my long legs even sexier than I've been told they are when I'm wearing my short skirts/dresses.
What is it about the high-heeled shoe that will make us endure discomfort? I'll admit to having my share of cute shoe pain, all in the name of vanity or as they say these days, preserving my sexy.
Even tho I'm overweight, my feet didn't get the memo! (Thank goodness for small favors.) I'm still able to put on & work my 'hooka heels' {as my road dawg KitKat calls them when I wear them to work} & sashay with the best of 'em!
I really get a kick out of the skinny heffas at my office who say, "Those shoes are cute" when I know "How does her fat ass walk in those shoes?" is what they are really thinking. That's right bitches!! Don't choke!
I recently bought a pair of 4 inch skinny heels, but I had to return them. 
Fellas - what exactly is it about women's feet and/or shoes that makes you ga-ga?
Ladies - do you endure a lil shoe pain in the name of vanity?
Friends, what animate and/or inanimate object(s) are you afraid of?
My nephew, Adrian, is deathly afraid of clowns & has never even seen Stephen King's It. I think It would send that child over the edge.
My nephew, Darnell, as a young kid, was afraid of the intro music to Tales from the Crypt. On the 1st note, that boy hauled ass! It was hilarious!
Playcuzzin has/had a fear of ashes. 
I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, so alot of marine life scares me. I love the beach & the ocean, but I will not go into water that is not clear.
Case in point - I went into the Gulf of Mexico at South Padre Island a few years ago & the water was murky, but I toughed it out....until seaweed floated across my thighs! I just knew it was a damn jellyfish. Needless to say, I got the hell outta the Gulf....after I fell forward & ended up with a mouth full of salt water.
By the way, that's a Black Widow Spider above. Isn't she lovely?
PS There's a phobia spreadsheet attachment for your reading pleasure.
Magic/Mister/Doctor Mike has a blog on a similar subject. His reply to my reply is what prompted me to share my experience.
About 5 years ago I met a guy at conference. I could feel him watching me for most of the presentation. It didn't creep me out or anything, but I did wonder what the hell he found so fascinating about me.
During the break he came over & introduced himself. His name was Kim....yeah you heard me, Kim. The man was Asian & about 4 inches shorter than me. I spoke back & we engaged in lite conversation....or at least he did....we had a lil language barrier problem. I had to ask him to repeat damn near everything he said.
After the conference he gave me his card & had written his cell # on he back, and then asked for mine. I thought, "What the hell...give it to him." He called me a few days later. Honestly, I had no intentions on calling him.
After asking him to repeat himself several times, he asked if I had Yahoo. I told him I did & we exchanged IM IDs. Chatting was sooooooo much better. He invited me dinner & told me to pick the place. I did.
The day I was supposed to meet him, I called my BFF and gave her his info, told her where I was going & was on my way.
I got to the restaurant about 30 minutes early & he was sitting outside waiting for me. He held open the door & a table was waiting for us.
I looked over the menu & mentioned there were too many good choices. He replied, "Whatever you want is fine." (once I understood him of course). I ordered a very pricey surf & turf meal & a few cocktails. It was dee-lish! The dessert tray came around & I was gonna get the Bananas Foster when he suggested I should me try something new, so I did. I ordered key lime pie. It was OK. Should've gotten my damn BF.
As we tried to talk over dinner I kept asking him to repeat himself. It was very annoying for me, but it didn't seem to bother him.
It was then that I knew I'd never see this man again.
We finished dinner, he paid the bill & we left.
He walked me to my car, tried to kiss me but I turned my cheek. Did I mention we were eye to eye, but he was on the curb & I was on the surface. (Me & my damn height hangups....) I thanked him for the lovely dinner, got in my car & left.
He called me several times after that evening, but I never answered. I just couldn't bear to hurt his feelings. I also deleted the IM ID I'd given him.
He finally gave up.
I hope he found what he was looking for. I honestly think he might've been trying to fulfill some BBBW fantasy or curiosity with me. Don't ask me why I think that...I just do.
The End.
Now, I know y'all got questions, so fire away.
Personally, I would much rather read & display personal messages versus the copied & pasted tags.
I log on at work so I definitely don't want the Adult Hump Day or Freaky Friday ones.
Don't get me wrong because I love graphics & some of your pages are very nice. It makes my page hopping that much more enjoyable.
The tags, however, take me back to my BlackPlanet days & currently MySpace (which I loathe). With BP you did have the option to turn HTML off.
No disrespect to anyone who has left one for me, cause I still *heart* all y'all!!
My feelings won't be hurt if I don't get a "It's the Weekend Baby" or "Kiss My Ass" tag.
XOXO
The summer of '84 was one I'll never forget. I was 12 and for as long as I could remember, I spent every weekend & summer at my grandparent's house.
One morning I woke up with a stomach ache. I wasn't hungry & no, I didn't have gas. I didn't know what was wrong with me, I just knew something wasn't right.
Later on in the day, I felt something coming from me, so I went to check it out. Low & behold there's blood in my panties & I didn't know why. I panicked! I cleaned myself up, wadded the washcloth & my panties up, found a bag & took them straight to the dumpster in the alley. I sat on the back porch & cried. Why the heck did you cry, you ask? Well, about one week earlier, I had my very 1st french kiss from a boy down the street & I thought the blood in my panties was a result. I was so afraid to tell anyone since I knew what the consequences of my grandparents finding out about me & that boy would be! Needless to say, I kept my "shame" to myself.
Just about a month later, it happened again!! Hold up! I haven't been anywhere near any boys since the last time this crap happened....what gives?!
I thought Muda would become suspicious when the toilet paper & paper towels started disappearing faster than usual, but she never said anything more than, "You all better stop wasting my paper products!"
Call me crazy but for some reason, I thought this madness that was happening to me would stop.
It's mid-Sept and I was in the 6th grade. It's about another hour before the bell rings & school is out & then I "feel" it again. Dammit! I sat in my seat until the classroom had cleared and when I stood up, white pants ruined, Mrs. Hill (God love her) said, "Come with me." She had a closet full of sanitary products. Apparently this crap happens to 6th grade girls all the time. She explained what was happening to me as I changed into my gym clothes for the walk home. I was embarrassed but relieved to know that I hadn't done anything wrong.
I made my way home & when my mom asked what happened at school today, I just pulled my ruined white jeans out of my book bag & handed them to her. She said, "Oh Lord." Then she called Muda. I could hear Muda say, "You better get her some "napkins" because she's too young for those damn Tampax you use". Now I'm thinking, "What the hell is a napkin & why do I need them?! I need pads!" Me & mom went to the store. She went down the aisle of sanitary products & I shamefully lurked away from her. I didn't want anyone seeing me buying pads!
Well that was over 20 years ago & after becoming a teen mother, I was more than happy to go down "that aisle" in the store.
I used my experience to warn my friends with daughters to talk to them about their pending menstrual cycles sooner that later!
My God-daughter, started at 10, but her mom talked to her when she was about 9, so she knew what to expect.
Now I just wanna know why in the sam hell my mother & grandmother didn't have a box of pads in the house?! 
Original 360 post (if you wanna copy & paste your original reply)
